She just wouldn't understand

[XdresserAshley]

I went to visit a friend of mine that works at a consignment shop yesterday. Now she talked to me earlier online and said it was really dead there and wanted me to come visit to pass the time.

I arrived and we chatted for a good 15 minutes and no one came in to shop. I asked her if she had any crossdressers that came in. She said yes and they were all old and creepy to her. That conversation ended after that.

A couple minutes later she jokingly asked me if I wanted to try on a wedding dress and she knew I'd say 'no'. Well she's a good friend of mine and since she thought crossdressers were disgusting I sheepishly said 'no' but truely wanted to try a couple on... I couldn't say 'yes' and risk losing a friend or her telling everyone else that I like wearing dresses.

Another reason I hate our society...

Ashley

[Darlene Rochelle]

Sad,but true,we do get put down by a lot of narrow-minded people,who truly do not understand us.

[jimfromny]

Paople are generally afraid of what they don't know well, and bolster their own insecure self images by bashing those who they feel they can safely considered inferior. It's been my experience, though, that most people can soften up their prejudices if slowly exposed to new things and they come to realize there is more to the world than their own narrow experiences.

Your friend might change her attitude if you started by talking about how those "old and creepy" customers are just tryng to get through life in their own way, like everyone else, and are likely far less offensive personally than the public at large.

[Jamie001]

The problem is that when we get put down we don't stand up admit that we are a crossdresser! Instead we stick our head in the sand in shame. If we continue this behavior, then we will never make any progress. The OP that went into the consignement store should have said "I am also a crossdresser, but I am not old and creepy!" "We are just normal people like everyone else. You could have then tried on the wedding dresses. We must learn to be proud of who and what we are in order to make progress and feel comfortable with ourselves. We also need to not worry about what other folks think because that is not something that we can control.

Jamie

Sad,but true,we do get put down by a lot of narrow-minded people,who truly do not understand us.

[Karren H]

Now that I rethink this situation..... I'd go back next time your in the neighborhood and take her up on it..... Say if the offer still stands... you'd like to experience just what those crossdressers are feeling.... For scientific sociological information gathering... Yeah!!

[Ronni Seymour]

Dear, I would have jumped at the chance to try the wedding dress on.
And not all older crossdressers are creepy. Many are very classy and feminine.

[MJ]

well first of all you could have told her that all cross dressers are not "creepy" and i would have said yes to trying on the wedding dress to prove that not all cross dressers are creepy looking...

and come on now do you relay want to have a friend like that!!!!. if i am creepy then i am in good company ...

[tracigirl_tv]

Ashley, it sounds to me (from a distance) like she might know something is up and wouldn't mind finding out a little more *smile* Maybe it's just the romantic in me.....

xxx

[obsessedwithpantyhose]

should have said YES to the dress.......

after all SHEs the one who asked.....

[cindym5_04]

When my mom found out about my crossdressing, she told me that I was "sick, perverted, and need help" and that any of my friends who knew and thought it was okay need lots of help too.

That's just the way society is. You should've taken her up on it when she asked or when she said that crossdressers are creepy, should've remarked "am I creepy?".

[almalove]

should have said YES to the dress.......

after all SHEs the one who asked.....

It wad a gamble,
and there're some things I like to gamble with, some times, may a few dollas whene I go to Vegas, but a the risk of being outed it's too
much, I say better not.

Alma.

[tammie]

Hi Everyone; If U know this lady somewhat then do this.

Go by and see her again. Waht day and time was it when it was so slow?

Just before Chrismas it may be different dynamics of shopping patterns tho.

When it is a slow time hopefully either early or at noon call and ask her if U can bring her something, maybe a breakfast burrito or a coke or a ice cream bar or a burger or sub.

When U R there ask her what she would have done if U had agreed to try on a wedding gown?

If she says she would have let U, then say "great I want to try one on, but let me go home and get my camera"!

If she says "I knew U wouldn't" then say well now I do want to try one on, but let me go home and get my camera".

Then go get a camera and have on some lingerie already and tell her U wanted to "feel the whole experience".

If she asks where U got the lingerie, say I borrowed it from a friend, that is why I have to get a picture.

I know how unfortunate it is to miss an opportunity dear.

Yrs ago I was just going to pop in to the Safeway to pickup an
Rx and was wearing a great new Wacoal underwire lacecup minimizer (42C 85122) that had come in the mail that day.

I didn't want to take it off it felt so great, so I just pulled a polo shirt on over it and walked out the door.

I was halfway to the back of the store when a woman starring at me stopped me and in a stage whisper said "U look great in that bra".

I was so shocked and taken aback that I just mumbled "thanks" and walked past her.

Later I realized I missed a wonderful opportunity to meet a woman what liked a man in a bra!

And when I got home and looked in the mirror I realized I had perfectly round breasts! I recommend Wacoal bras by the way.

[Celeste]

O.K. You have to go back and tell her you've thought it over and you're wondering why she brought it up.Test the waters with a few questions to see how she feels about it.If you get positive answers and if she would be willing to help ,then tell her you want to try.Put the ball back in her court,make it seem like its her idea.Tell her, "I'm doing this because I like you,you asked me and I trust you'll keep it between us only" .I would have her lock the shop up first.You should be able to tell how serious she is.

[CD Susan]

There is no way I would have said no to her request to try on the dress. I think that she suspects that you are a cd and she expected you to say yes. If you get the chance again go for it.

[Genifer Teal]

You missed a great opportunity. This may have been a set up for you benefit from the beginning. When she mentioned the old and creepy CDers, I would have asked "am I old and creepy?" to get her response. You could still have played it either way depending if she was for or against the idea.

Gen

[sometimes_miss]

well first of all you could have told her that all cross dressers are not "creepy" and i would have said yes to trying on the wedding dress to prove that not all cross dressers are creepy looking... and come on now do you relay want to have a friend like that!!!!

I think that it could become a problem if you don't have a lot of friends to begin with. Unless you want to be out to the world, there's really no way to know who is CD friendly and who isn't, unless we carefully ask to find out without actually outing ourselves. And just because someone is CD friendly, doesn't mean that you want to be friends with them anyway. Crossdressing is not the be all and end all of who we are; But it is the thing that society decides will define us more than anything else. You could be a war hero, save a village, but if you CD then you are 'the crossdresser'. It becomes the major descriptor of you for a whole lot of people, most of whom don't like crossdressers. Simple example: Dennis Rodman was an all star how many times? How many championship rings does he have? Can anyone easily answer? And yet, he's one of us! But EVERYONE knows he's a crossdresser.

Not all of us want to be 'out'. We don't all crave the title 'crossdresser'. We don't all have an overwhelming desire to walk down the public streets trying to pass as a woman, and so are not all 'working up our courage' to be 'out'. Some of us just want to be accepted as the part time Cd'er that we are, and just really want a woman (or man, if you're gay) that will love and accept us as we are, whether we are in a dress or a suit. Like so many of us here, I would looooooove a wedding gown; but I don't think I'd jeopardize a long friendship by forcing someone to accept or reject me based on one thing I do that they may find very upsetting. But that's just me.
(answers to above: Twice, and five, two with the pistons, three with the bulls, to the best of my recollection).

[JenniferR771]

Just go for it Ashley! A good friend who works in a consignment shop (how perfect)! No shoppers! She offers to let you try on a wedding dress! She is probably catching on--this is a great opportunity. Don't miss out! Show her we are not creepy--not much, anyway. At least tell us where the shop is located so others can take advantage of your find.

I had a clerk I met at a thrift shop--told her I was a cd--got to know her fairly well. And I just asked one day if I could try on three wedding dresses. Got a shopping cart and headed for the fitting room. Popped my wig on my head and came out to show her and she grabbed the zipper and said "suck in" and zipped me up. Loved it--wish she still worked there.
Click on my name and take a look at the wedding dress on my personal page.

[Karren H]

I'd have said "Sure if you insist" hahaha

[StacyCD]

Imagine if she accepted your crossdressing, you might have had your own personal shopper looking out for great deals for you!

[Alana65]

If it had been me (and there was nobody else in the store) I would've jumped at the chance.............to try on wedding gowns ????..........you bet

[Sammy777]

I asked her if she had any crossdressers that came in. She said yes and they were all old and creepy to her.

A couple minutes later she jokingly asked me if I wanted to try on a wedding dress and she knew I'd say 'no'.

I think you may be looking at this from the wrong view point.
Maybe all she was saying was old people were creepy, lol
[No offense to our "more experienced" members here, lol]

If she "knew" you were going to say "no" then why did she ask?

It has been my experience that:
When a guy friend says "hey wanna jump off a bridge" he usually does not really want you to do it.

When a girl friend asks you if you want to try on a wedding dresses [of all things], she most likely WANTS you to say yes.

More so, she didn't ask if you would [or would like to] try on a skirt or even a dress......... No she went right for gold.

I think the next time you two are "passing the time there" you should at least approach the subject again.

Maybe you can ask her in a passing way,
Soooo which one of them did you want me to try on?

Or I could just be completely wrong, LOL

[Janet Bern]

I bet you are sorry you said no. Hope you get the offer again. Maybe you can go back when its slow and say you been thinking about it?

[kym]

I would have asked her if i was "creepy" when she answered honestly then i would have let it go until she offered the wedding dresses and gone for it. make the point nice and subtle.

[Ruth]

Now here was a situation where (a) she is a friend, (b) she doesn't know you CD, (c) she asks you if you want to try on a wedding dress. I don't think that a, b and c all fit together. Are you leaving something out?
Sounds like a super opportunity to me (though I would have wanted to dash home and get some suitable lingerie and a nice pair of shoes).

[sissystephanie]

Now here was a situation where (a) she is a friend, (b) she doesn't know you CD, (c) she asks you if you want to try on a wedding dress. I don't think that a, b and c all fit together. Are you leaving something out?
Sounds like a super opportunity to me (though I would have wanted to dash home and get some suitable lingerie and a nice pair of shoes).

At age 76 I guess I am one of those "creepy old" CD's! But I agree with Ruth and Traci. I think she does know something, and as Karren said you should have taken her up on her offer! Of course after putting on the proper lingerie and shoes!! Why don't you ask her what she would have done if you said yes to her offer! Then you will really know where you stand with her!