Bad First Visit

[halfman_halfamazing]

Pretty much what the title says.
Um.. i went to the doctor blah blah blah fast forward i told him about my gender crisis stuff and then he was like oh thats interesting and then he went on about how why and he said i was pretty. obviously i was taken aback. later on he apologized realizing that it was offensive to me. then also hurt me.. i didn't care about the pretty comment but then he asked if my mom knew. i said yes and that she was beeing supportive of whatever i chose and then he said "well, she says that now. just wait til you start growing a beard and see how she feels"
at that point i fought to hold back tears and looked down untied and tied my shoe.
nevermind that before he said that he said that even if i get surgery i still won't be all male. that even with a penis it can never be fully functional penis. that to have sex i'll need an implant and that it might not be possible to have an orgasm.
another thing that freaks me out is that he asked if my girlfriend and i have "diddled" as in if we've fingered or had oral. then he asked if i masterbated in order to trigger the information about not being able to have an orgasm.
i seriously don't know what to do.
i have to go shopping in the morning with my girlfriend but i cant get to sleep until i know that those things arent true.
i don't wanna change doctors i'm just so desperate right now i need help and i can't drive myself anywhere else.
and having my "new best friend" (my girlfriend) take me looks kinda weird.
just tell me something please.




UPDATE:
Thank you to everyone who made it clear that my doctor is a freak and probably gets his jollies at night from the info that i give him. Oh btw he also said that oral 'tickles' and chuckled like a very disturbing santa clause.

Anyway I have another appointment with my other Doc. he prescribes me my anxiety pills. Also need to see him because my temper frightens me. I plan to tell him everything jolly old saint nick said and see if he can redirect me to someone else.

Another thing. I have another appoint with this nutter and i was wondering if i should go or not? I honestly don't feel like going. I get this super creepy feeling everytime i think about going back.
And last but not least, my girl says i should report him but i think i'm gonna see what what other doctor says when i tell him about my horrendous experience.

[John]

i have to go shopping in the morning with my girlfriend but i cant get to sleep until i know that those things arent true.
i don't wanna change doctors i'm just so desperate right now i need help and i can't drive myself anywhere else.
and having my "new best friend" (my girlfriend) take me looks kinda weird.
just tell me something please.

I think he's talking bollox. Seriosly, it souds like he dosn't know the first thing about the emotional or mental or practical side of transitioning, don't listen to him, he speaks lies.

And it isn't 'weird' for a girl/friend to take you to the doctors, you know. I've seen it plenty, it's fairly normal I'd have thought. Really, if you need to chainge doctors cos that one's a prat*, don't let fear that someone might think it odd stop you from getting the help you need.
[SIZE="1"]
*well, bordering on improfesional behaviour really. Why did he need to know about your sex life? Surly that's for the psychs to ask if you're happy with it. And telling you that your family won't supot you even though they've said they will... that's just wrong.[/SIZE]

And have fun shopping!

[GG Pearls]

that doctor is unprofessional, at the very least.

...you are "hiring" medical help. remember that. if you don't like a certain restaurant because of poor service, you don't go back, right? well, same here. don't waste your money or time him...shake it off and move on.

...that doc is a loser!

[deja true]

half & half, you need to see a good gender therapist person first, I think, and have him refer you to a doctor that knows what the hell he's talking about.

That doctor of yours may know a little about transitioning, but his manner, as you've described it, is downright insulting and unprofessional.

Were I you, and felt abused or insulted, I'd consider reporting him to an oversight board.

Sheesh!

[ZenFrost]

That doctor sounds awful, I'd suggest trying to see another one if possible, you don't need that coming from your doctor.

[Sharon]

That doctor was so out of line in so many ways, I can't imagine seeing him again if I was in your shoes. I understand you don't want to go through the process of finding another doctor and waiting again for an appointment, but he is just too unprofessional and clueless to consider seeing him again. There are good doctors out there, and I'm sorry you picked one of the bad ones, but I don't see any hope in what he may have to offer excepting for more drivel and inappropriateness.

[sparro]

....a lot of those questions he asked you were quite personal, and making personal comments about your appearance in such a way is very unprofessional and sexually abusive.

I hate to point fingers and yell "abuse!" whenever something like this happens, but considering your age especially he was very out of line in the things he said.

The proper thing he should have done when you told him this information is to refer you to someone with experience with young transgender issues who would actually be able to answer your questions without making you feel uncomfortable.

The first thing I would do, especially if I wanted some honest unbias opinion about what I should do next, is look for a local walk in sex-positive clinic, like a planned parenthood, for medical advice.

Unfortunately what he said about getting a full sex change is true. Not only does it take a good deal of time to get all of your papers in order, it takes a lot of money. It is a painful surgery, and yes, your new penis will not function sexually unless you have an implant. All sexual feeling is not always lost from the surgery, but it is common.



Those are a few pictures of post op transmen with short descriptions of what you are looking at.

Top surgery is also quite painful. You will likely lose the feeling in your nipples as well. The results can be quite lovely, though.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHoZ0JaOk9M

The road to changing your physical gender is a long one, a painful one and an expensive one. If you really are interested you should even just look it up on wikipedia so you can get a sense of what you're going towards.

Also, though, keep in mind that you are quite young and you really have all the time in the world to transition. It doesn't have to be daunting. Just take everything one step at a time.