Busted by a Good Friend

[Patricia Johnson]

Well it finally happened, I was busted by a very good friend of mine. I find that I am not as devastated as I thought I would be. It is actually not causing me any pain or angst. I know you're wondering how did it happen; well here goes. I am a member of a public site that I have been with for years in my guy mode. I had closed the web page and then restarted about a year and a half later. I used a close derivative of my old name but started a new page dedicated to my Inner Journey. The old name was Quabone and the new name is Quabone1, yeah I know- probably wanted to get busted. But anyway, The friend is female from ten years or so ago and we have talked at least once a month and we always talk for hours. Well anyway she started a webpage at black planet and went to add my old name as a friend on her webpage and as a result she saw my new page. She sent me an email and said, I see there is something new going on in your life, what is happening? I sent her back a response saying nothing new is going on you just know a little more about me now. Hey give me call and lets talk. I sent that back and I am not feeling nervous or worried about her knowing. I find that odd but comforting. I will keep you posted as things progress.

[Jenny J]

CT-

Sounds like your friend isn't freaking out about it and she sounds like she's open to finding more out about the 'new' you. Hope that phone call goes well and who knows, you might have someone to join you in your travels.

Jen

[sandra-leigh]

Although many acquaintances know about Tess (I haven't been shy about going out gender-bending, and quite a few people have recognized me immediately when I've been fully dressed, really only one friend knows. I used to work with her and we've stayed in loose touch after she moved away; she came to the city on business and had supper with me. I showed up at the meeting place wearing a skirt and top (but not fully dressed.) When she saw me, her eyes lit up and she congratulated me.

Somehow I knew that she would be comfortable with the idea and somehow I knew that she would appreciate knowing... and she took it even better than expected.

Sometimes you just know you can trust someone...

[JoAnne Wheeler]

Doesn't sound that bad to me - talk to her - if she is really your friend, then she will accept you as a CDer
JoAnne Wheeler

[Patricia Johnson]

Just a quick update. The friend and I had a talk and I could tell that it had been a struggle for her but she was going through the process of accepting. The conversation was a tab bit tense as we talked and she was concerned that since I had kept this from her for so long, then what type of person was I. She had concerns about my overall level of honesty. By the end of the conversation she had warmed somewhat, she is still my friend, but I can tell from the flow of the conversation that some of the closeness we shared is gone for now. I shall see.

[RachelDenise]

Patricia, I'm sorry your relationship has changed. Close friends and those who care for you may feel betrayed but not telling them about your self, as SO's and married members will tell you. i think she might be feeling a little of this emotion.

[Claire Cook]

The conversation was a tab bit tense as we talked and she was concerned that since I had kept this from her for so long, then what type of person was I. She had concerns about my overall level of honesty. By the end of the conversation she had warmed somewhat, she is still my friend, but I can tell from the flow of the conversation that some of the closeness we shared is gone for now. I shall see.

Patricia,

It sounds as though the part of the problem is that you weren't honest from the start? Maybe that's the way to gain people's trust. I've told a number of my friends that I CD, and they've appreciated the honesty, even if they might not fully accept it.

Who knows, maybe some day maybe your friend would be willing to give advice on clothing!

[DAVIDA]

Hi Patricia!
You never know for sure how people will react. One close friend was upset because I had not said something years ago!