How much is a good spouse/so worth?

[TGMarla]

1) Are you married or do you have a SO ?

Yes.

2) Does your Spouse or SO know about your crossdressing ?

Yes.

3) Does your Spouse or SO know that you use this website ?

No, not really.

4) Does your Spouse or SO know the extent/degree of crossdressing that you do or need to do to satisfy your URGE/NEED ?

I'm guessing that the reality of it would come as a bit of a shock to her.

5) Does your Spouse or SO know that you send posts to this website ?

See above. No.

6) DOES YOUR SPOUSE OR SO KNOW THAT YOU HAVE HAD YOUR PHOTOGRAPHS DISPLAYED ON THIS WEBSITE ?

Absolutely not.

7) What problems have you encountered with your SPOUSE or SO regarding the extent of your crossdressing ?

She knows I crossdress, but I doubt she realizes just to what extent.

8) Has your Spouse or SO established BOUNDARIES for you and her and your crossdressing ?

It's not something we currently discuss.

9) Can you live within those BOUNDARIES ?

Yes, for now I live within certain boundaries that I have pretty much set for myself.

10) Finnaly, is having a loving Spouse or SO worth having to compromise the extent of your crossdressing OR is your crossdressing URGE/NEED so strong that you would choose crossdressing over the love of your Spouse or SO ?

My wife is more important than my need to expand my crossdressing activities.

[Nadia-Maria]

We have been living together for 6 years. Our couple is rather harmonious.
SO knows and doesn't like CDing. However baby steps policy seems to do rather well.

10) Finnaly, is having a loving Spouse or SO worth having to compromise the extent of your crossdressing OR is your crossdressing URGE/NEED so strong that you would choose crossdressing over the love of your Spouse or SO ?

This is a very good question, and I ask me it rather often.

At the moment my answer is I rate our couple worth continuing, so that I am doing the mandatory efforts and compromises.

Honestly I could answer either way. As for me, both situations (in couple or alone) have their pros and their cons, so that the balance is almost equal , I believe. Hence I have no reason to break something that works.

Moreover, in the future the baby steps policy may bring an improvement. Let's make it happen !

[Leanne2]

1. Married,
2. She knows I am a cd,
3. She doesn't know about this website,
4. She doesn't want to know how much I dress.
5. Doesn't know that I post.
6. No photos posted (I don't know how to do that.)
7. Her biggest fear is that our family will be disgraced in our small town.
8. Yes to boundaries.
9. Somewhat able to comply.
10. Even with our problems with my hobby, marrying my wife is the best thing that ever happened to me. I could never choose cross dressing over my marriage.

[melissacd]

I was in a relationship for 25 years and in the end it ended because she could not accept and I could not stop being me.

I have been out on my own now for a little over a year and all is well. Now this is not to say that I do not have regrets and deep sadness over the loss, however, I knew deep in my heart that I could no longer live the lie that my life had become and I knew that neither of us were happy.

Every solution, every set of answers to these questions is as unique as the respondent. Look deep within yourself and you will find your answers. It is not an easy path and looking back on my journey I can see how much I have changed and grown. Burying this deep inside, hiding it from the world creates a great deal of pain all around.

Huggs
Melissa

[Angie G]

Well JoAnn 1-6 YES. 7 NONE 8 I GIVE HER HER HUSBAND ON WEEKENDS.9 YES.10 NOTHING IS OVER THE LO9VE OF HER. I don't think she would ask me to stop dressing she knows it's a big part of who I am.
Angie

[Maria_1969]

1) Are you married or do you have a SO ?
We are engaged

2) Does your Spouse or SO know about your crossdressing ?
Yes, she likes it and we regularly have passionate sex while I am in my skirt and pantyhose…. Her hands roam MUCH more when I am dressed.

3) Does your Spouse or SO know that you use this website ?
Yes

4) Does your Spouse or SO know the extent/degree of crossdressing that you do or need to do to satisfy your URGE/NEED ?
Yes, we shop together for shoes, pantyhose and skirts and share them too

5) Does your Spouse or SO know that you send posts to this website ?
Yes.

6) DOES YOUR SPOUSE OR SO KNOW THAT YOU HAVE HAD YOUR PHOTOGRAPHS DISPLAYED ON THIS WEBSITE ?
YEs

7) What problems have you encountered with your SPOUSE or SO regarding the extent of your crossdressing ?
She just wanted to be sure I was only into the clothing, and NOT gay…. I expected that reaction at first.

8) Has your Spouse or SO established BOUNDARIES for you and her and your crossdressing ?

Yes, I do not go as far as looking like a girl or acting like one, just the clothing…. No wigs or makeup, likes me in women’s things looking like a man. She has encouraged me to get a few dresses, but I am not so eager…. We are on the same page, I like being a man that just likes to wear some women’s items.

9) Can you live within those BOUNDARIES ?
Most definitely!

10) Finnaly, is having a loving Spouse or SO worth having to compromise the extent of your crossdressing OR is your crossdressing URGE/NEED so strong that you would choose crossdressing over the love of your Spouse or SO ?

I could not live with anyone that would NOT at least allow me to wear my pantyhose….. If I had to, I could live without the skirts and shoes.

[Jenniferpl]

1) Are you married or do you have a SO ? yes
2) Does your Spouse or SO know about your crossdressing ? yes

3) Does your Spouse or SO know that you use this website ? yes

4) Does your Spouse or SO know the extent/degree of crossdressing that you do or need to do to satisfy your URGE/NEED ? yes

5) Does your Spouse or SO know that you send posts to this website ? yes

6) DOES YOUR SPOUSE OR SO KNOW THAT YOU HAVE HAD YOUR PHOTOGRAPHS DISPLAYED ON THIS WEBSITE ? I have not displayed any pictures
7) What problems have you encountered with your SPOUSE or SO regarding the extent of your crossdressing ? very few problems

8) Has your Spouse or SO established BOUNDARIES for you and her and your crossdressing ?

9) Can you live within those BOUNDARIES ? I have no problems with her boundaries
10) Finnaly, is having a loving Spouse or SO worth having to compromise the extent of your crossdressing OR is your crossdressing URGE/NEED so strong that you would choose crossdressing over the love of your Spouse or SO ? Since she encourages and helps buys girly things, this is not a problem

[Billijo49504]

1) Are you married or do you have a SO ? yes

2) Does your Spouse or SO know about your crossdressing ? yes

3) Does your Spouse or SO know that you use this website ? yes

4) Does your Spouse or SO know the extent/degree of crossdressing that you do or need to do to satisfy your URGE/NEED ? She has walked past me several times since we got home from shopping.

5) Does your Spouse or SO know that you send posts to this website ? yes

6) DOES YOUR SPOUSE OR SO KNOW THAT YOU HAVE HAD YOUR PHOTOGRAPHS DISPLAYED ON THIS WEBSITE ? She took them for me.

7) What problems have you encountered with your SPOUSE or SO regarding the extent of your crossdressing ? When we go shopping together, she wants to get a lot of things, as long as I'm paying.

8) Has your Spouse or SO established BOUNDARIES for you and her and your crossdressing ? I have to pay when we go shopping together.
9) Can you live within those BOUNDARIES ? sure

10) Finnaly, is having a loving Spouse or SO worth having to compromise the extent of your crossdressing OR is your crossdressing URGE/NEED so strong that you would choose crossdressing over the love of your Spouse or SO ? We get along very well, we both love to shop for womens clothes.


I know this is a long thread, but I am so jealous and envious of some of you Sisters and I long for the freedom to express my femininity like you do, YET at the same time I have a loving Spouse whom I have been married to for almost 38 years. We don't always agree about my love and urge and need to crossdress, BUT she has agreed to let me crossdress at home whenever I want and she compliments my appearance as JoAnne and tells me what she thinks goes with what and she asks me to critique her outfits as well - the only problem is that she has BOUNDARIES - boundaries that don't let me shave my body hair and yet I want to look like so many of you - I'm tormented between my love for my Spouse and my love of crossdressing with no boundaries. She really does not like me to spend so much time on this website and she would probaly "flip out" if I posted my picture on this website - which I really want to do - I long to be like you Sisters.

I need advice and help - I'm torn into - a good Spouse or crossdressing with no boundaries (which would mean a divorce) . Should I enjoy the crossdressing that she can live with or should I just say the Hell with it and go live by myself so I can crossdress all I want to with no boundaries and no limits. As far as the shaving, I can shave any thing I want, but because of the trach scars on my throat, I usually wear a turtle neck shirt. That takes care of any chest hair problems. Hope that helps...BJ

I'm so torn by this - please help.

JoAnne Wheeler[/QUOTE]

[KimberlyS]

1) Married 20+ years

2) Yes since before we were married.

3) Yes

4) For the most part yes.

5) Yes

6) Yes

7) Web site use, pictures on line, money spent, keep body hair, ....

8) Yes some, but they have changed over time.

9) Yes or I have discussed change.

10) Having a loving is worth compromising for if the compromising and love goes both ways. And I am not just talking CDing. Relationships and marriage in general is a lot of compromising so do not make this a CDing thing.

IF you have a good marriage and relationship do not make this a CDing versus your marriage. First you need to figure out who you are as a CDer and not be the other CDers here. Then you need to know who you are as a whole person. You are more than a CDer. You have many more parts of who you are. You are a husband, father, you have a job, parents, friends, neighbors, to do a lot of different things that have nothing to do with being a CDer. Grow up you do not live in a candy store where CDing is the only part of you. Bring yourself back to reality and look at what you have in life, in your wife, and in your marriage. And first and foremost love your wife. A loving wife is more open minded when they are loved and feel loved.

If you want more than you need to openly communicate with your wife. But also you need to truly look at what you are asking of her and be realistic. Look at what you are asking for from a life view, not just from a CDer view. Being a CDer is just a part of who you are as a person.

[Mercedes]

1) Are you married or do you have a SO ? - YES
2) Does your Spouse or SO know about your crossdressing ? - YES
3) Does your Spouse or SO know that you use this website ? - YES
4) Does your Spouse or SO know the extent/degree of crossdressing that you do or need to do to satisfy your URGE/NEED ? - YES
5) Does your Spouse or SO know that you send posts to this website ? - YES
6) DOES YOUR SPOUSE OR SO KNOW THAT YOU HAVE HAD YOUR PHOTOGRAPHS DISPLAYED ON THIS WEBSITE ? - I have not mentioned it so I don't think so.
7) What problems have you encountered with your SPOUSE or SO regarding the extent of your crossdressing ? - We went to marriage counselling to discuss my dressing and it turned into a discussion on communication. My wife does not like it but accepts it with the old Don't ask Don't tell philosopy.

8) Has your Spouse or SO established BOUNDARIES for you and her and your crossdressing ? - We established mutally agreed to boundaries. Three nights a week I can sleep in something and one of those nights I can dress.

9) Can you live within those BOUNDARIES ? - Yes I can as I agreed to them and we have been working with them for at least 7 years. If I she or I wanted to change them we would have to discuss it.

10) Finally, is having a loving Spouse or SO worth having to compromise the extent of your crossdressing OR is your crossdressing URGE/NEED so strong that you would choose crossdressing over the love of your Spouse or SO ? - Everyone is different in their levels and if fact within most of us the amount we want to dress can fluxuate. But for me, dressing is a small part of my life in comparison to my wife and family.

For me, dressing is part of who I am and not what makes me who I am. However, if it was the other way around I think it would be very challenging to stay in a relationship with someone who did not understand.

Mercedes XOXOXO

[Christina Nicole]

I don't know how much a good spouse is worth. How much are you offering?

Accept people for what they are. Even if they can't reciprocate. It puts you on a higher level. It might not help, but you'll be able to respect yourself. Much better than being angry.

Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

[SusanMarie]

1. Yes
2. Yes
3. Yes
4. Yes
5. Yes
6. None displayed but SO thinks I should
7. None, SO seems to understand my CDing better than I do.
8. No
9. No, SO and I have not discovered any boundaries yet.
10. SO first

[jillleanne]

I would love to assist you .

I am a transgendered person or gender enhanced person, whichever you prefer. I do not subscribe to the label 'crossdresser'.

I have a GG whom I have been wiith for 9 years now, happily, to date.

I came out to her about 4 years ago.

She is fully supportive of my gender enhancement.

She knows I am on this site now, she is sitting beside me.

She knows of and takes pictures of me, and knows where they are posted, including , but not linited to, her computer as well as mine.

She knows my log in details as well as my email address and has full access with my blessings.

We shop together while I am either in drab mode or en femme, either which bother her.

She wears my clothes and I will on occasion, wear hers. truth be told, I have a much larger wardrobe then her so she dips in more often. We do not wear each others panties however,

I email her regularly, support site links, etc. that I feel are worthwhile for her learning about gender enhanced people as a supplemement to our own discussions. She receives approximately 75 emails a day from various gender enhanced sites/groups she has chosen to join.

Therefore, I am totally out to her, but not her family out of respect for her wishes. I am not out to my mother either, but am out to one sister who is accepting.

I spend many weeks en femme 24/7 with her blessings.

We are both hetero.

I do not at this time in my life, wish to or crave transition through GRS, SRS, HRT, etc. What will happen down the road some day will have to be discovered if and when the time comes. I am 100% happy with who I am and have accepted who I am 100%, as has she.

I apologize to no one for any reason unless 'I' feel I need to apologize. If they feel I should apologize, that's their issue solely. Get over it.

Hope I remembered all the questions.

[jillleanne]

Sorry, number 10 I missed (of course, the stickest one).

Well, that's a very good question. And a very sensitive question which can have a zillion answers depending, I believe, in my case, on age primarily and marital situations.
I was married before meeting my current gg. We have no plans of marriage but discussed. She also was in a relationship prior to meeting me. We were both single/divorced when we met each other.
For me, at my age, there is no doubt in my mind, if I had to choose between my gender enhancement or her, I choose my gender enhancement. I know who I am, I accept who I am totally, and I fully intend to spend the rest of my living life on this planet, being me. I will not ever again revisit the proverbial closet to satisfy society's ignorance, except for a few people I choose to refrain from enlightening, mutually agreed upon by both myself and my gg, a direct result of being in this relationship. My GG and I have discussed this very issue and both agree our relationship would not fail due to my gender enhancement.

Now, had you asked me the same question when I was married, younger, my son was 3, etc. I would answer differently. Why? simple, I didn't come out of that closet until after I divorced. I made the choice of remaining in the closet, a duty as his father, to enable me to raise my son the way I felt emotionally, he should be raised, right or wrong. Yes, he now knows and accepts me for who I am. He asked the same question, why did I wait to tell him.

[chrerrywine]

JoAnne I am a GG but I read your thread and just wanted to give a reply. What you are asking is very hard for anyone to answer because you have to do what your own heart tells you to do. No one knows how much you love your wife but you, and no one can understand her feelings but you. I know it's hard for some GG to understand how their other half feels but I have learned for myself by trying to understand my CD'er and how she feels. All you can do is try to talk to each other and figure out what is best for you and sometimes it helps when GG's can talk to each other. I hope that you can find a safe ground to stand on . We are all different, and some like to keep things private and some are open. You have to make these choice's on your own, but know that when you need a friend just to talk to, someone will be here for you, and her, if she ever wants to join the group. Good luck in what ever you do ...Hugs chrerrywine

[kimmy p]

[QUOTE=JoAnne Wheeler;1563923]

1) Are you married or do you have a SO ?
Yes, married.

2) Does your Spouse or SO know about your crossdressing ?
Yes, from the beginning.

3) Does your Spouse or SO know that you use this website ?
She knows that I come here, slightly. But this is my place to talk and or vent about my inner lady.

4) Does your Spouse or SO know the extent/degree of crossdressing that you do or need to do to satisfy your URGE/NEED ?
Mostly. I've recently told her that I don't care nearly as much as I used to if I'm found out.

5) Does your Spouse or SO know that you send posts to this website ?
She has probably figured it out, she's smart.

6) DOES YOUR SPOUSE OR SO KNOW THAT YOU HAVE HAD YOUR PHOTOGRAPHS DISPLAYED ON THIS WEBSITE ?
No. It would greatly upset her, and I feel bad about that. I shouldn't have done it.

7) What problems have you encountered with your SPOUSE or SO regarding the extent of your crossdressing ?
I occasionally push it further than she's comfortable with.

8) Has your Spouse or SO established BOUNDARIES for you and her and your crossdressing ?
Yes, I don't go public.

9) Can you live within those BOUNDARIES ?
Yes, I cheat. I dress completely fem (sans make up and wig) with clothes that could go either way. Stealth dressing.

10) Finally, is having a loving Spouse or SO worth having to compromise the extent of your crossdressing OR is your crossdressing URGE/NEED so strong that you would choose crossdressing over the love of your Spouse or SO ?
I cannot change who and what I am, so I cannot remove Kimmy from existence. But I can live within set limitations. Plus my wife relaxes a bit more with each passing year.


I can't answer your questions about yourself for you. Some here have spouses that are 100% accepting and go out as girl friends together. That's rare. Some belittle the husband/boyfriend for it, not so rare. And a lot are like my wonderful wife, as long as it's quiet and does not cause difficulties within family or the community then I can go as girly as I want. Just remember, being married is all about compromises. Your agreement about CD'ing is just another.

[Bernadina]

Over three questions and I glaze over... I love my wife.. She loves me.. She hates my hobby.. Life goes on..

You should take up model railroading. She'll beg you to go back to CDing.

Almost the same as Karren, except... my wife accepts and supports my CDing.

[Tasha McIntyre]

1) Are you married or do you have a SO ? Yes, with children

2) Does your Spouse or SO know about your crossdressing ? Yes

3) Does your Spouse or SO know that you use this website ? Yes

4) Does your Spouse or SO know the extent/degree of crossdressing that you do or need to do to satisfy your URGE/NEED ? No

5) Does your Spouse or SO know that you send posts to this website ? I don't think so

6) DOES YOUR SPOUSE OR SO KNOW THAT YOU HAVE HAD YOUR PHOTOGRAPHS DISPLAYED ON THIS WEBSITE ? No

7) What problems have you encountered with your SPOUSE or SO regarding the extent of your crossdressing ? She had initial acceptance, and even tolerated me dressing in front of her, but now she doesn't want to know about it.

8) Has your Spouse or SO established BOUNDARIES for you and her and your crossdressing ? Yes, nothing in front of the kids, no alerting the neighbours, use caution whilst shopping.

9) Can you live within those BOUNDARIES ? Yes

10) Finally, is having a loving Spouse or SO worth having to compromise the extent of your crossdressing OR is your crossdressing URGE/NEED so strong that you would choose crossdressing over the love of your Spouse or SO ?

Compromise is good.

FOOTNOTE: I don't ever bring the subject up, but have made it clear that if she ever wants to talk about it, I would be open and communicative. My wife is very understanding that this hobby of mmine is here for life, I get to do what ever I like provided I stay within the boundaries. Overall I'm happy with my situation considering I kept it a secret from her for a long time.

Hope that all made sense!

[Terra_Branford]

1) Are you married or do you have a SO ?

I'm married, yes.

2) Does your Spouse or SO know about your crossdressing ?

Oh yes, she knows.

3) Does your Spouse or SO know that you use this website ?

She knows that too.

4) Does your Spouse or SO know the extent/degree of crossdressing that you do or need to do to satisfy your URGE/NEED ?

And this.

5) Does your Spouse or SO know that you send posts to this website ?

Of course.

6) DOES YOUR SPOUSE OR SO KNOW THAT YOU HAVE HAD YOUR PHOTOGRAPHS DISPLAYED ON THIS WEBSITE ?

Personally, I'm still a bit paranoid about having pictures up in public anywhere on the web, so I've not yet posted photographs, nor do I intend to in the foreseeable future.

7) What problems have you encountered with your SPOUSE or SO regarding the extent of your crossdressing ?

In the beginning, there were fears about how far I wanted to go with it. She was worried that I might want to fully transition, and that I might eventually leave her for a man. We sat down and talked things through, and I assured her that I have no intention of ever seeking hormones or surgeries, and that I would never leave her for anyone else, male or female. After that, she's completely fine with everything.

8) Has your Spouse or SO established BOUNDARIES for you and her and your crossdressing ?

A bit. She likes my facial and body hair, so she asks that I shave only when I'm going out as Terra, and only what I need to for what I'm wearing. Also, she asks that I never go out alone, so I'm always with her and a transgendered cousin of mine when I go out.

9) Can you live within those BOUNDARIES ?

Definitely. Although I enjoy the feeling of being fully shaved, it takes ages, so I'm fine with only doing what I need to. As for only going out in a group, that's for safety purposes in the highly conservative area that we live in. It's also nice to have their support when I'm out, as I'm working through some problems with crippling shyness.

10) Finnaly, is having a loving Spouse or SO worth having to compromise the extent of your crossdressing OR is your crossdressing URGE/NEED so strong that you would choose crossdressing over the love of your Spouse or SO ?

My wife asks for very few concessions in regards to my crossdressing, none of which are onerous. However, there's really nothing that I can imagine choosing over her.

[Norah Jean]

Great Thread and I love your answers ladies. I agree that each of your situations is unique and that you and your SO have to work through any issue that arises to find what works best for your relationship. My situation, as a gg spouse of a cd sometimes feels like a bit of a catch 22, especially with regards to question #10:

I am accepting, supportive and enjoy participating in my husbands cd'ing but I do have what could be called boundaries, though my hope is that with time I become more accepting of his desires and activities that bring up emotional issues for me and that the concerns I have are relieved. However, and this is where I feel trapped, while I want him to give me the respect of staying within the boundaries, I HATE the idea that I am restricting him from being who he is and doing what he feels he needs to do. I love him dearly but sometimes wonder if he might have better luck figuring out this part of himself without my uncertainty, jealousy and my own emotional insecurities.

[Cathytg]

1) Are you married or do you have a SO ? I am married.

2) Does your Spouse or SO know about your crossdressing ?Yes, she does.

3) Does your Spouse or SO know that you use this website ?Yes; so does she.

4) Does your Spouse or SO know the extent/degree of crossdressing that you do or need to do to satisfy your URGE/NEED ?I think she does inso far as I know it myself.

5) Does your Spouse or SO know that you send posts to this website ?Yes

6) DOES YOUR SPOUSE OR SO KNOW THAT YOU HAVE HAD YOUR PHOTOGRAPHS DISPLAYED ON THIS WEBSITE ?Yes.

7) What problems have you encountered with your SPOUSE or SO regarding the extent of your crossdressing ?None at all. SHe has asked me to not wear a nightgown once in a while which is fine, but we have no problems at all.

8) Has your Spouse or SO established BOUNDARIES for you and her and your crossdressing ?No, not really. But I have set my own boundaries and they seem to be fine so far.

9) Can you live within those BOUNDARIES ?Yes, since they are my boundaries.

10) Finnaly, is having a loving Spouse or SO worth having to compromise the extent of your crossdressing Absolutely YES ! ! OR is your crossdressing URGE/NEED so strong that you would choose crossdressing over the love of your Spouse or SO ?I cannot imagine that the urge to dress would push her out of my life. She is my life.

[Eileen]

A good spouse/so can be somed up in one word! Priceless!

Eileen

[Lorileah]

1) Are you married or do you have a SO ? Married

2) Does your Spouse or SO know about your crossdressing ? Yes

3) Does your Spouse or SO know that you use this website ? No

4) Does your Spouse or SO know the extent/degree of crossdressing that you do or need to do to satisfy your URGE/NEED ? Yes

5) Does your Spouse or SO know that you send posts to this website ? No (since she doesnt know about the site

6) DOES YOUR SPOUSE OR SO KNOW THAT YOU HAVE HAD YOUR PHOTOGRAPHS DISPLAYED ON THIS WEBSITE ? No but she knows about the photos I have

7) What problems have you encountered with your SPOUSE or SO regarding the extent of your crossdressing ? She took a long time to allow full dressing

8) Has your Spouse or SO established BOUNDARIES for you and her and your crossdressing ? Don't embarrass her

9) Can you live within those BOUNDARIES ? Yes

10) Finnaly, is having a loving Spouse or SO worth having to compromise the extent of your crossdressing OR is your crossdressing URGE/NEED so strong that you would choose crossdressing over the love of your Spouse or SO ? She is so worth everything.

[subaru_forster]

1) Are you married or do you have a SO ?

I have an awesome girlfriend (been together 1.5 years) who is likely going to be with me for the long haul :-)

2) Does your Spouse or SO know about your crossdressing ?

Yes. I told her about it before we were steady.

3) Does your Spouse or SO know that you use this website ?

Yes.

4) Does your Spouse or SO know the extent/degree of crossdressing that you do or need to do to satisfy your URGE/NEED ?

Yes. She knows that my need to not let my gender limit my range of expression and experiences is quite an integral part of me.

5) Does your Spouse or SO know that you send posts to this website ?

Yes.

6) DOES YOUR SPOUSE OR SO KNOW THAT YOU HAVE HAD YOUR PHOTOGRAPHS DISPLAYED ON THIS WEBSITE ?

I don't have any pictures up on this site right now, but I do have some elsewhere, and once I do post some here, there will be no need to hide it.

7) What problems have you encountered with your SPOUSE or SO regarding the extent of your crossdressing ?

None. She is all for it, everyone in our social circle and her family is all for it. I consider myself very lucky.

8) Has your Spouse or SO established BOUNDARIES for you and her and your crossdressing ?

Only real thing she asked of me was to not shave off the hair in my midriff area.

9) Can you live within those BOUNDARIES ?

No problem at all.

10) Finnaly, is having a loving Spouse or SO worth having to compromise the extent of your crossdressing OR is your crossdressing URGE/NEED so strong that you would choose crossdressing over the love of your Spouse or SO ?

This is a bit of a loaded question, since it assumes that those two things need be at odds with each other. You must ask yourself what your *needs* are as far as crossdressing, and *don't lie*. If CDing is a hobby you can freely give up at the drop of a hat, make all the compromise she wants. If this something you must do to be happy, it's a bad idea to stay with someone who can't be happy with you. Keywords: *can't* and *you*. Compromise should be attained by all of anyone's power. But failing the existence of a middle ground BOTH can happily adhere to, if it came down to:

1. You must X to be happy
and
2. It's either Xing or her

The logical conclusion is *having a happy relationship with this person is impossible*. If you love each other, and are at this unfortunate point, it only makes sense to let each other go. Many years of possible happiness will be wasted if you don't.

[Bethany38]

I've been studying this website for about 2 months (that's when I found it) and I know that we are a group that covers a wide spectrum of crossdressing, however, I have some important questions that I need answers to:

1) Are you married or do you have a SO ?
Yes
2) Does your Spouse or SO know about your crossdressing ?
Yes
3) Does your Spouse or SO know that you use this website ?

`` She Introduced me to it to help me sort through some of my ill feelings I used to have for cd'ing

4) Does your Spouse or SO know the extent/degree of crossdressing that you do or need to do to satisfy your URGE/NEED ?

Yes she has helped me and still does to achieve my goals.

5) Does your Spouse or SO know that you send posts to this website ?
Yes

6) DOES YOUR SPOUSE OR SO KNOW THAT YOU HAVE HAD YOUR PHOTOGRAPHS DISPLAYED ON THIS WEBSITE ?

I have yet to post any, but hope to soon, when I am comfortable with how I look.

7) What problems have you encountered with your SPOUSE or SO regarding the extent of your crossdressing ?

None

8) Has your Spouse or SO established BOUNDARIES for you and her and your crossdressing ?

The only thing she has asked is for me to keep my chest and stomach hair.

9) Can you live within those BOUNDARIES ? With out any doubt.

10) Finnaly, is having a loving Spouse or SO worth having to compromise the extent of your crossdressing OR is your crossdressing URGE/NEED so strong that you would choose crossdressing over the love of your Spouse or SO ?

As for the answer too this question, only you can answer this. I do know that if I was feeling constrained to the point of it being mentally painful for me I would probably find some sort of compromise.


I need advice and help - I'm torn into - a good Spouse or crossdressing with no boundaries (which would mean a divorce) . Should I enjoy the crossdressing that she can live with or should I just say the Hell with it and go live by myself so I can crossdress all I want to with no boundaries and no limits.

I'm so torn by this - please help.

JoAnne Wheeler

JoAnne the las answer is truly only as far as the depths of your mind. Fill out a pro's and con sheet if you have to, but you need to figure this out. I just sense your pain and I feel for you. I truly hope you are able to find the peace and answers you seek.


Bethany