When dressed, how do you identify your gender?

[Hosed]

Male- Im a guy, I just happen to love dressing as a female.

[bgirl]

I hope when you do go out, you get a new lattitude adjustment. Cut a little slack. The object of your laughter may have been doing the best she could. In the least, she was just being herself. Not passing is not a crime. Neither is going out, knowing you don't pass. Its about how you feel inside.
When you go out and when you get laughed at, and you will get laughed at sooner or latter, remember how you judged her, sir, and take it like a man!

[Kate Simmons]

I never actually identify my gender. Other people seem to have the need to do that.

[kathrynjanos]

I hope when you do go out, you get a new lattitude adjustment. Cut a little slack. The object of your laughter may have been doing the best she could. In the least, she was just being herself. Not passing is not a crime. Neither is going out, knowing you don't pass. Its about how you feel inside.
When you go out and when you get laughed at, and you will get laughed at sooner or latter, remember how you judged her, sir, and take it like a man!

Well now, before we get all high and mighty, let's take into account what we had going on here. This person could've come in dressed like a clown, and you would probably sit there telling us we should still respect that. Sorry, no. Take care of yourself. There's a difference between taking care of yourself, and still failing to achieve your goals, and having a complete disregard for yourself then expecting other people to take you seriously.

If you're walking around in public dressed slovenly and you obviously haven't taken care of yourself in some time, then you should be informed, regardless of how, that you need to go rethink some things. The world shouldn't dance around peoples' feelings.

And for your uninformed information, I've spent a large portion of my life being laughed at, thought of as awkward or goofy, just a geek. I've spent my tears on that crap, thank you very much. Then I realized that I was going out of my way to garner some of that mockery, and I slowly changed some things.

I got some smaller glasses, looser clothing, things that fit me better, some shirts that didn't scream "nerd" and within no time, people treated me better. Now, I was still a geek and thought of as a loser, and people laughed at me, but in time, I learned to turn that into laughing with me. I'd make worse jokes than ever, but people thought they were funny, because they could make you groan, but somewhere, they were funny.

I turned my geekery into a love of computers and science, and people started asking me for help, instead of suggesting I needed some.

I figured out that it was simply a matter of projecting your own appearance and making an effort to be accepted. No, you will not please everyone, but if you are trying to please no one, don't be surprised when you succeed.

Oh, and clearly you failed to read carefully, as I stated, HE clearly preferred to be identified as such. It is not unreasonable to expect that someone who dresses in the feminine role would wish to be identified as such. Certainly you could drop the identification entirely, but that's neither here nor there.

Maybe you never worked in retail, but one of the keys to making a sale is to establish a quick relationship with the customer, and that is done through trying to personalize your statements to them, not generic blank words. At least my coworker did that much.

Good day to you!

[Kathleen Ann Trees]

I love being treated as a lady when dressed and out. For a SA or treat me with the respect as a woman makes me feel great.

But I understand there is confusion out there and I'll go with the flow. When I went for my first manicure and pedicure, I went into the shop in drab to make the appointment and find out if there was any issue with me cross dressing. Natually, there wasn't.

When I showed up, the tech did a cute little snicker and said something to the effect, "Wow, you look different." But she complimented me too, "you look nice." So that was cool.

When I sat down to get my pedi', the tech said to the lady sitting next to me, "He looked different when he came in before." The lady looked at me and said, "What did she say?"

I was so pleased that this woman didn't know I was a guy cross dressed and sitting next to her. I proceeded to explain. I did say to the woman, I am a man. I'm just cross dressed.

Her response, "That's so cool."

Without going too long, I'm pretty understanding to the confusion if another person isn't being rude.

Kathleen

[kathrynjanos]

I love being treated as a lady when dressed and out. For a SA or treat me with the respect as a woman makes me feel great.

But I understand there is confusion out there and I'll go with the flow. When I went for my first manicure and pedicure, I went into the shop in drab to make the appointment and find out if there was any issue with me cross dressing. Natually, there wasn't.

When I showed up, the tech did a cute little snicker and said something to the effect, "Wow, you look different." But she complimented me too, "you look nice." So that was cool.

When I sat down to get my pedi', the tech said to the lady sitting next to me, "He looked different when he came in before." The lady looked at me and said, "What did she say?"

I was so pleased that this woman didn't know I was a guy cross dressed and sitting next to her. I proceeded to explain. I did say to the woman, I am a man. I'm just cross dressed.

Her response, "That's so cool."

Without going too long, I'm pretty understanding to the confusion if another person isn't being rude.

Kathleen

I think that it might have had more to do with people not paying enough attention. It'll be my advantage in NYC, people don't like to stare at each other very much.

[Carole Cross]

I would liked to beadressed as ma'am or miss when dressed as I am going to transition. Obviuosly being very inexperienced going out, its not going to happen real soon, unless they are just being polite or I am among other TGs or in a TG friendly establishment.

[Kathi Lake]

You know, I will graciously go with whatever they address me as. I am totally comfortable with who I am, and I think they see this and respond accordingly. I don't lisp or make my voice higher. If they want to see me as a man in a dress, then so be it. It's what I am, after all.

That said, it is fun to take the wind out of some people's sails. Just yesterday, I was in a shopping area in Seoul. I had my bulky jacket and jeans on over my red sweater and a T-Shirt bra with my new forms. I took a couple of black skirts (one kinda short) back towards the dressing room, the girls started chatting animatedly in Korean and with confused looks, led me to a dressing room. I peeled off my jacket and jeans (I was already wearing hose), zipped up the skirt and put on the 3-inch pumps I had brought in a bag. All the while, the girls outside were giggling up a storm. I stepped outside and the laughter stopped instantly. Instead, after a pause, I got "oohs" and "aahs," thumbs-up, signs for "curvy" and more (one of the girls even looked inside to see where the guy went). That's one of the things I live for. Not the compliments (although, as a crossdresser, I am a bit more narcissistic than most). I live for showing others that they need to break their misconceptions on what crossdressers are. We're not weirdos living in the shadows. We're normal human beings.

So, do I mind being called sir when dressed? Nope. As long as they respect me, they can call me what they want.

Kathi

[Kathleen Grace]

I'm female all the way when dressed. When my hair is long in Winter and I'm wearing a heavy coat even though I'm in drab, I occasionally am mistaken for a Mame or Miss which I don't bother to correct unless necessary. Especially if someone is holding the door for me.

[bgirl]

[QUOTE=kathrynjanos;1572797] There's a difference between taking care of yourself, and still failing to achieve your goals,


You mean your goals don't you? Who are you to judge who should be seen in what. There are already enough gender police out there. Fashion police are just another extension of that. If someone wears a full beard and a dress is that a violation? Shouldn't be but no doubt someone will think he is a clown.
So if this person doesn't meet your standards for taking care of himself and doesn't shave everyday, maybe has a bad manicure, scuffed shoes, So What.

[kathrynjanos]

[QUOTE=bgirl;1573798]

There's a difference between taking care of yourself, and still failing to achieve your goals,


You mean your goals don't you? Who are you to judge who should be seen in what. There are already enough gender police out there. Fashion police are just another extension of that. If someone wears a full beard and a dress is that a violation? Shouldn't be but no doubt someone will think he is a clown.
So if this person doesn't meet your standards for taking care of himself and doesn't shave everyday, maybe has a bad manicure, scuffed shoes, So What.

Are you one of those people who believes that everyone should always accept you for who you are, regardless of outward appearances? Because if so, you live in a fairy land. Sorry to say it, but the world just doesn't work that way. If you look crazy, you should really expect to be treated as such.

Even so, this person wasn't immediately treated as such, if only because we were employees at a chain store, but between the outward signs and then the sudden outburst at being misidentified and storming out, yeah, THAT is crazy. And he was. Crazy. I don't have sympathy for people who don't take their pills in the morning.

Once again, I will make a very straight-forward point, just in case I wasn't clear enough. This guy was disheveled, mismatched, and in poor personal care. Then he shows up cross-dressed and still expects to be identified as a man, upset when we can't read his mind (which we really wouldn't want to do).

No, friend, I'm not being the fashion police. My Cra-dar (Crazy RADAR!) was going bleeping berserk, and yeah, frankly, I'm not going to be too worried about someone going out of their way to show that fact off. Obviously, I really don't take issue with the cross-dressing, but yes, if you're going to do something like that, don't go around giving everybody who does it a bad name!

I find it interesting that people here get bent out of shape by not being accepted by society, then count these types of people among our numbers and actively defend them. This is how most people out there seem to think of cross-dressing. When you count people among "us," you take away peoples' chance to give us a chance on a case by case basis. "Don't group me, unless it's more convenient to my argument."

[curse within]

Even tho I feel I could easly pass givin the right lighting...I am what I am.. Male

[marny]

I've been Maam'ed a few times when I wasn't dressed at all! Maybe attitude comes across.

[KarenS]

As of yet, I am not passable but someday, I hope to be and when I do, I would like to be recognized for how I present myself - as a woman. I will not likely attempt to pass until I am certain of the potential for doing so.