Got total acceptance from Goth Teens

[battybattybats]

I've had an interesting week. Some of the highlights including some friends I've known for years but had only recently been able to catch up with and that I have recently come out to inviting me to a party.

En femme.

It was a Goth themed party as they have always had some gothic taste and their daughter is Goth. She's now 15.

I was as nervous as heck. But the level of acceptance was stunning!

Not just the family but the daughters Goth friends were there. And several other non-goths dropped in during the party.

My CDing was entirely a non-issue with them, it was natural, free and easy.

So on discussing Goth history and sub-sub-cultures the subject of gender issues in their age group came up. Now remember this is rural Australia we're talking about, it has a university in town but it's close to the Country Music capital of Australia too!

I was surprised to hear that pink has become such the standard colour of boys fashion that the girls are claiming blue now. And not only are 'man skirts' seen as quite attractive amongst teen goths and emos but its been turning up amongst the 'mainstream' kids on casual days!

The party went late and I overnighted. The next day despite morning stubble etc not an issue. More lovely conversation with people ranging from 40's down to early teens.

Then after I got home i ended up in conversation with a 19 year old Goth girl who along with her goth boyfriend I'd become freinds with over the last couple weeks. The subject of androgyny came up and I decided to come out. Again, total utter unconditional acceptance. We ended up chatting late and exchanging pics and fashion talk.

It was truly awesome!

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

I've had an interesting week...

It was truly awesome!

Awesome is an excellent word to describe what I just read! I WISH I could have had such a great week when I was your age, but it was so unattainable for me back then (the whole cd acceptance thing).

I had some really cool goth friends several years back, I've since lost touch with. Even though I've always been attracted to gothic girls, I was a bit intimidated by gothic people until I had the opportunity to hang out with and worth with several of them. They were some of the most open-minded, coolest, creative, and accepting people I've ever met. It doesn't surprise me too much that your gothic friends were very accepting of your crossdressing.

What an awesome and uplifting thread post.

[Sara Jessica]

Awesome story, thanks so much for sharing.

I've encountered plenty of goths over the years and have found them to be gentle and genuinely open to whatever, even a bunch of regular joes attending the first Bauhaus reunion tour back in 1998.

[justmetoo]

Excellent!

[jennifer41356]

at the Goth club here in Dallas, The folks there, young and older dont care what people wear, the Goth culture is is about individuality and they tend to be accepting of all, because most of the "normal" population also looks at them as being weird
Love the Goth kids and some of the clothes they wear, and of course the music aint so bad either

[docrobbysherry]

Yet ANOTHER reason to emigrate Downunder!

[Jess_cd32]

Nice story Batty, those people you'll always fondly remember and hope you stay in touch with them. I think the Goth families understand what its like being ostrasized by society like a lot of cd's feel.

[Stephanie Scott]

I've had an interesting week. Some of the highlights including some friends I've known for years but had only recently been able to catch up with and that I have recently come out to inviting me to a party.

En femme.

It was a Goth themed party as they have always had some gothic taste and their daughter is Goth. She's now 15.

I was as nervous as heck. But the level of acceptance was stunning!

Not just the family but the daughters Goth friends were there. And several other non-goths dropped in during the party.

My CDing was entirely a non-issue with them, it was natural, free and easy.

So on discussing Goth history and sub-sub-cultures the subject of gender issues in their age group came up. Now remember this is rural Australia we're talking about, it has a university in town but it's close to the Country Music capital of Australia too!

I was surprised to hear that pink has become such the standard colour of boys fashion that the girls are claiming blue now. And not only are 'man skirts' seen as quite attractive amongst teen goths and emos but its been turning up amongst the 'mainstream' kids on casual days!

The party went late and I overnighted. The next day despite morning stubble etc not an issue. More lovely conversation with people ranging from 40's down to early teens.

Then after I got home i ended up in conversation with a 19 year old Goth girl who along with her goth boyfriend I'd become freinds with over the last couple weeks. The subject of androgyny came up and I decided to come out. Again, total utter unconditional acceptance. We ended up chatting late and exchanging pics and fashion talk.

It was truly awesome!

Batty,

I'm thrilled for you! That must feel really great, and it's nice to know there is a group of folks w/whom you can feel like be yourself -- whichever self that happens to be at the moment.

[JoAnne Wheeler]

Great - but you seem to look a little GOTH in your pictures, so maybe that helps
JoAnne Wheeler

[Kelsy]

Batty,

Thank God for the young who embrace their right to self expression!! I am sure they experience plenty of negative reactions to their persentation but
are courageous enough to be true to themselves. Acceptance is something they desire and deserve and they are unafraid to push against social norms. We can learn alot from them. I am happy you had such a wonderful and encouraging experience!

Kelsy

[Cissy Chiana]

I've been a Goth ever since Floodland by the Sisters of Mercy was released and my drab clothing reflects that, lots of black and dark blues, however my girly outfits tend to be pinks & white for days and greens and browns for evenings. I often cover my red nailpolish with black if I have to go out in drab and I don't want to clean my nails.

[TxKimberly]

I think your looking at a few things all coming together there.
1- As a general rule, society seems to be pulling their collective head out of their backsides and being more tolerant of others.
2 - Concerning the point I made above, the younger generation is leading the way. These days, being different IS the norm!
3 - The goth crowd has ALWAYS been about doing your own thing and not just being one of the crowd.

It just occurred to me that there is at least a fourth point.

4 - YOU are a pretty cool person too. If they know YOU then what your wearing may not be terribly significant.

[Angie G]

That was awesome Batty you must have loved it all.
Angie

[Rachel Morley]

I agree with Kim there are 4 good points and the 4th is a very important one!

I'm real happy for you Batty as I can only imagine how great it must of felt to have such total unconditional acceptance by so many people in the same place at the same time

[battybattybats]

I've encountered plenty of goths over the years and have found them to be gentle and genuinely open to whatever, even a bunch of regular joes attending the first Bauhaus reunion tour back in 1998.

That would have been a fantastic concert!

Great - but you seem to look a little GOTH in your pictures, so maybe that helps
JoAnne Wheeler

Oh I sure am, but that's not important to the revelations I experienced.

Let me restate this bit with emphasis:

I was surprised to hear that pink has become such the standard colour of boys fashion that the girls are claiming blue now. And not only are 'man skirts' seen as quite attractive amongst teen goths and emos but its been turning up amongst the 'mainstream' kids on casual days!

Breaking gender rules is becoming not just acceptable but increasingly fashionable! Non-Goth or Emo boys on days where school uniform is not mandatory are increasingly wearing skirts!

I've been a Goth ever since Floodland by the Sisters of Mercy was released...

I remember the moment I first saw and heard the clips to This Corrosion and Dominion. Even my Mum loved those! I'd been into Goth things for years but in country towns they were rare, usually the occassional rubber bat at the annual show in a showbag or the rare Hammer film late at night.

It was years before I heard the term Goth applied to the culture and, like most of us in that era, I refused the label because I just liked the style but I wasn't adopting the style in order to fit in with others.

A bit reactionary sure, but the criticism of us in those days that we were all wearing black 'to be individuals' and therefore were hypocritical when in fact we were all wearing what we liked and what each of us liked was often black. These days I'm less willing to be defined by opposing others incorrect views as much as fitting in with them so I proudly label myself Goth.

It just occurred to me that there is at least a fourth point.

4 - YOU are a pretty cool person too. If they know YOU then what your wearing may not be terribly significant.

Awww thanks! You are very cool too!
You as well Rachel!

And while I knew two of the adults at the party and had met two of the teens a decade ago when they were young kids the vast majority were meeting me for the first time and i doubt the two I'd met remembered it. So the acceptance from the very first moment, the warm and not in any way mocking or amused smiles when I walked into the room was before I could make an impact as a person

It was so unreal as to be at first hard to believe, then I fell into it and relaxed only to every so often feel a bit worried (such as when the discussion of boys voices breaking came up and I started talking about my own experiences without thinking or when i spotted my morning stubble in a reflection and realised it had been visible from the start with one of the new people who dropped by on the second day) but each time i was reminded again that no-one was reacting to that at all, that passing to any degree mattered to me and me alone there.

I even ended up joining in playing SingStar, dropping any attempt at a femm-ish voice to utterly fail at singing Roxy Music's Avalon and Depeche Mode's Enjoy the Silence! LOL.

It was truly fantastic.

[Lora Olivia]

Yep I think Ms. Kim and Ms. Rachel have hit the nail right on the head. One thing I do wish to say is that I am not sure I would like a world with no separation of the sexes, just seems that would be too much Androgyny=Android=Automaton for my liking. But then thats just me.

[Jennifer Giovannetta]

Thats really cool Bats! I cannot imagine how it would feel to be dressed as my femme self and be at a social event and be totally accepted. I do daydream about it sometimes. I am happy for you.