I know who I am, but what is/are the correct term(s)?

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

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Please skip to my follow-up post if you're reading this thread for the first time. Thanks.



I'm a crossdresser and have long wanted to interact with other crossdressers, and so I finally allowed myself to do just that on the first of this year.

Am I just a "crossdresser" though? I learned of terms that are new to me since taking the digital plunge, like "tgirl" and "transgendered" among others.

The bottom line is what's in a name? Labels don't really matter much, but I am curious as to where I fall.

I did some research on terms and figured out that I do fall into the transgendered category as well. Ok, there's another applicable term for me.

I can't seem to find a meaning to "tgirl" in which I fully understand if I do or do not fall into that category myself. My personal interest in crossdressing is not just to wear women's clothes, but to come as close as possible to looking like a woman, but I don't want to have a sex change. Am I considered a tgirl? Is that more a state of mind than a term which describes personal traits? When I'm dressed up, my wife and I both refer to me in feminine terms (as in girl).

I'm a straight guy, only romantically interested in gg's, period. I work and live as a man and crossdress when opportunity allows - usually just the clothes because time and circumstance doesn't allow for nails and makeup often. If I had some more freedom in my life, I'd do full makeup and nails each and every time and crossdress a lot more frequently than I do now.

Again, straight, married (wife knows and is supportive), live as a man, desire to appear as female as possible when dressing up, but have no desire to get a sex change. I enjoy being a man sometimes and don't think I'd want to be a woman 100% of my time if I ever found myself with the freedom do anything I wanted.

Is this enough personal data to fill in the rest of the blanks for me?

No confusion whatsoever as to how I feel or who I am. I just don't know all the terms that apply to me and I'd kind of like some input on that.

For those who respond - what do you consider yourself, in terms of all the labels you feel are applicable to you?

Thanks.

[Karren H]

I'm so tired of being labeled that the only label I really need to use is "Karren"...

Ohhh and cute.. Yeah!! Two labels.. I'm starting to sound like the Spanish Inqusition!! Lol

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

Thanks, Karren and Katie!

Your posts cracked me up for some reason (not in a bad way).

I'm not confused about who/what I am, and I'm usually the first one to say labels don't mean squat. I kind of mentioned that in my post... or thought I did.

I'm mostly just curious.

If someone told me I'm a ____ and _____ with a touch of ____ but also show signs of _____, it wouldn't change who/what I am in the slightest. Again, just curious and having a little trouble figuring it out for myself so I wanted to ask some of the girls who are a little more educated on the topic than I.

[Lorileah]

well this is as clear as mud.

I know that I was chastized my first post for saying that Drag made fun of or over did female characteristics. I was told that drag queens didn't over dramatize. So I really don't know the answer. Then I find definitions from a person who works with transgender persons and here is what they say "Drag involves wearing highly exaggerated and outrageous costumes or imitating movie and music stars of the opposite sex. It is a form of performing art practiced by drag queens and drag kings. "

So anyway, here is the article if anyone cares. I know there will be several who disagree just because they can.

http://web4health.info/en/answers/se...Cross-dressing


What I was told

Crossdresser=person who wears and presents in the clothing of the opposite gender (now someone please explain why certain articles of clothing are gender specific. Even some males can benefit from a bra)

Transvestite=person who dresses for sexual purposes. A fetishist

Transexual= Person who feels they were born into the wrong body. May or may not have SRS.

Drag= the wearing of opposite gender clothing for the purpose of exaggerating traits ofthe opposite sex. Usually done as entertainment and as camp.

Intersexed= having parts of both sexes. Can cover hermaphrodites and pseudohermaphrodites.

In as such, I identify as a crossdresser. For what that is worth.

[GaleWarning]

I am free to be me, because everyone else is taken.

Actually, you and I are a lot alike.

Let's not sweat the small stuff.

[sterling12]

Well, in the first place your not JUST a crossdresser. I think I have heard some people use that particular label too many times.

You get to choose where you want to be, if your life is happiest as a
CD, then be happy with it. But your never JUST a CD, no matter what some other person says.

And if you choose, you can have a second title. Common usage at this time is to include everyone from CD to Post-Op TS in the "Transgendered Section" of The LGBT Community. Voila! Your instant transgendered too. Doesn't that feel good!

Peace and Love, Joanie

[tvbeckytv]

crossdressers are forever trying to feel better about themselves and therefore try to erect narrow definitions of what they are, who they are, why they are.
you see messages on here where one sort talks of how another sort gives them a bad name.
Some cant stand the thought that they may have a fetish, so they are a crossdresser, which is morally superior compared to the transvestite....thats the transvestite of their definition (which of course is incorrect)
thats why they change the meanings of words to suit...and it becomes quite regional where different "tribes" have different definitions of all these words.
essentially, nothing you call yourself will be understood by everybody the way you would like

[RachelDenise]

Too many labels and words. Create a little space for yourself and be very honest about your interests, wants and desires. If there is a label to match, viola! If not, you get to chose a new name/label!

[victoriamwilliams1]

To be honest when I am dressed I feel as if I am a Woman, I think since society needs labels to define what you are if I had to be labeled I prefer Transgendered. Now personally when I am dressed I am the woman known as Victoria.

[Jacquilynne]

Gabrielle,

Wow, hun. Thats exactly how I see myself. . . exactly! I too was wondering about the label even though I too hate labels.

Just curious.

Jacie

[Angie G]

I feel I'm just a cross dresser If Transvestite fits that's OK I don't really care what one wishes to call it I like wearing girl things.
Angie

[JoAnne Wheeler]

LABELS just plain HURT

JoAnne Wheeler

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

Thanks, ladies.

I really appreciate the input on the whole "what am I called" angle. Unfortunately, no one hit on the tgirl thing, which is the one I was most curious about, but no big deal. I should be doing my own research anyway.

To those I offended or upset by posing this question, please accept my apology. I honestly didn't realize that this kind of question might be upsetting to some people. In hind sight, it makes perfect sense. I know that we, as crossdressers, have already become labeled in a very poor light by much of society. I really didn't meant to rub anyone the wrong way. I hope you won't think badly of me for being curious about terms that might apply to me.

I do want to restate that I'm not confused at all about who/what I am. I love who I am and I love being a crossdresser. A lot of the terminology in the transgendered area is still somewhat foggy to me and I was trying to clear it up a little. Maybe it's foggy because every source I find reads a little differently on the subject. Maybe there are no established, agreed upon answers to my questions.

And I know I'm much more than just a crossdresser - I've got a lot to my life. I intended the question in the context of the whole transgendered topic, not as in the bigger picture of my life as a whole. I appreciate the show of support though.

Kind of wish I could close this thread now, but if there's a way, I'm not quite smart enough to figure it out.

Again - didn't mean to rub anyone the wrong way.

[curse within]

Gabriella,

If you really want to know than the best thing to do is be real with yourself. I feel to get a better understanding of ones self ,leads to a better understand in the spectrum you hold claim to.

If you havn't already done so, I'd suggest looking into the different patterns into which you find fits your EGO best..Now this isn't a pie throwing contest and I have no gain into suggesting such a task. I truely believe that once one finds the "label" in which suits you best, a better understand and a wealth of knowledge can be contained....

In being totally honest with your search and accepting what ever answers you may find , can result into a range of mis understanding from past experiances to becomeing more complete, like lifting a ton of weight from ones shoulders.

You may find some answers into "why do I do this over that"? or " why do I perfer things different than other CDers"? I don't know but it's helped me a lot to finnaly accept , the first step then adjust to where I fall into the spectrum..

If this is what you are looking for I wish you the best and hope it helps you as it did me.

C.W.

[Nicki B]

Unfortunately, no one hit on the tgirl thing, which is the one I was most curious about, but no big deal.

Commonly tgirl, Tgirl, T-girl (or similarly T boy) or just T* are common variations from trans or transgendered, i.e. intended as a catch-all term...

Another one is 'tranny' which is widely used as an abbreviation for TG or trans, but offends some as they see it as equating specifically to transvestite?


But the one thing you can guarantee is that no one uses all these words in the same way, that's one reason why they cause so much argument.

[Jess_cd32]

.............Kind of wish I could close this thread now, but if there's a way, I'm not quite smart enough to figure it out.

Again - didn't mean to rub anyone the wrong way.

I see nothing offensive in what you are asking at all, or any reason for anyone to be rubbed the wrong way over it. Labels will always exist and aren't nessesarily always a bad thing. If we didn't have labels what would we call that ignorant 'redneck'?
Thought provoking posts and different opinions are nice to read.

[ReineD]

Yeah, don't worry Gabrielle, you've offended nobody. It's just words.

Words are pretty clever inventions really, if you think about it. They all started when a caveman realised that he didn't have to carry a rock around with him, every time he wanted to talk about rocks. He could just use the word instead, which saved a lot of energy.

Unfortunately, the rocks started to resent being labelled...

^ Good one!

[jillleanne]

You will grow old trying to attach a 'label' to yourself and after you do, no one else will know what it is anyway so you will spend the other half of your life explaining to them what you think it is.
Do yourself a favor and keep it simple.; all 'labels' fall into one category. You can call it one of two things, your choice: "transgendered", or "gender enhanced". That's it. Now you can step out into Main Street and proudly announce who you are.