I sometimes wonder how others feel when they dress. I know how I feel. Even though these days I'm somewhat ambiguous about it and have pretty much balanced my feelings, sometimes it's just nice to "pretty up" go out and have fun. We sometimes say we "feel" like a woman. I don't know what that means really, never having been one, even if I do have an idea by observation. I know there's a lot more to it than just dressing and the "glitter" besides the obvious. All I know is how I feel.
Even though I have proven I can have just as much fun as Rich, I've also proven something else to myself. I can express myself in this way and am no longer ashamed or afraid of doing it. By doing this, I have passed "muster" with the most critical judge on the planet--myself. It puts me in touch with my feelings and my own honesty about myself.
The point is, I feel I'm a better person for having had the gumption to address this and deal with it. Many people try to suppress their feelings and as a result have nothing but problems of one kind or another. I lived that way for years in denial of my real feelings. It's much easier to experience them and express them and quite liberating really.
I won't be doing this forever, even now events are shaping up in the background which may make me decide to put Sal on the shelf, perhaps indefinately. Coming "out" greatly affected my life in more ways than one, not all nesessarily for the better. Do I regret it? Not at all because if I hadn't decided to proceed, I never would have truely known myself.
So, what does dressing do for you and how do you really feel when you do it?
