Co-worker approached me today and

[MarcieM]

Seems that friends rarely support you when you need them. They are too afraid to speak up, they are afraid to lose whatever they think they will lose.. in this case I have learned the same lesson. It's a shame when you find that your friends are two-faced and will abandon you in your hour of need. Then they come to you later and say sorry, but I couldn't risk supporting you as I could lose such and such..

I'm not sure why you would ever think you could require "friends" to accept/support your crossdressing. And you call them "two-faced" because they don't?
I don't blame them at all for not supporting you.
I don't know all the details of your work situation, but it seems that you're on your own, and you need to realize that and be solely responsible for your actions.
Go ahead on your own and pursue this alleged "harassment" if you feel that's what you should do. Just realize that when you go messing with someone's employment, things have a tendency to get very ugly.
I hope I'm wrong, but I have a real feeling that someone will end up in the hospital before everything is said and done in this issue.