Do you have the courage to be yourself. I was once in that fearful place that I see so many on this board in. Statements like - "I could never do that" "My circumstances do not permit me too." "I am deeply in the closet" "my SO will not permit me to." and so the list goes.
It took a lot of introspection and I know that for most it is not an easy process nor is it one not fraught with much fear and angst, but looking back on my own personal journey I can see now through much more mature eyes than I had back in 2004 when I first joined this board, that the only path that I could have travelled and remained sane and happy was the one that I took which involved doing all the things that I said that I could not do - tell my spouse, join a cross dresser support group, go out in public, build a wardrobe etc.
I realize now looking back on all of this that all it really takes is having the courage to face those fears and do it any way. There can be big consequences for being yourself and standing your ground but the pay offs, the benefits, at least for me, far outweigh all of the pain and trouble that I went through to get here. I am living my life on my terms now, I call the shots and I choose the path and I am so much happier now.
I live the life I want, I grow in the way that I need to, I dress the way that I want to, I have a girlfriend who loves me just as I am.
This Christmas I got together with my kids, who know about this part of me, and I dressed fully femme for their visit. They still treated me as they always have, as their Dad, with love and enjoyment of being together. It brings me great joy and happiness to know that the ones that matter in my life in its current form accept me just as I am. That is all that I want and all that everyone should be able to expect.
I say this to hopefully inspire other sisters on this board to stop making excuses and start living your life true to yourself. You can make all sorts of reasons up why it cannot work but in the end you just have to make those small steps towards being true to yourself and you will feel so much better for it.
Melissa
