In hindsight... I was pretty stupid

[mklinden2010]

Quote:
Originally Posted by mklinden2010
>>You both knew that and you both, for your own individual short-sighted reasons, made "rules" for PERSONAL behavior. But, in writing or not, you can't waive your rights to your PERSONAL thoughts and personal actions. If you have an itch, you have the unalienable right to scratch it - "contracts" don't apply.

Question:

Would you apply the same logic to an alcoholic? Never mind that they have promised their SO that they will no longer drink, if the urge comes over them, they should break their promise and return to alcoholism? That would be the logical outworking of your reasoning.


This may sound a bit harsh, but reality sometimes bites...

Yes, I would and do. If you're an alcoholic, you're an alcoholic. What YOU do with that knowledge, for all I now care, is up to YOU. Once I know that, I try to sort out if you're a biological or conditioned alcoholic and gauge my support or lack of it accordingly.

And, again since this is example is up to me, I'd hit the door BEFORE this known alcoholic drank again. To me, and having lived with this, I would not put up with it again. Fish gotta swim, drunks gotta drink. I no longer care to be much involved with such people: "Drink faster so I can get out of here!"

I would not, however, (allow myself to) bust the bottle over the drunk's head, set the drunk on fire, or, come up with new rules and punishments to further complicate the situation. It does the drunk no good to beat them up, they're doing that just fine to themselves and it takes up a lot of my time.

The OPs SO may or may not decide to act along the same lines in the future. The OP may decide to modify his behavior one way or another based on all these posts.

Just be happy, people - and be happy without making each others lives, or, your own, hell.

"If you're having problems, it may because you are a problem..."

Note the word "you" carefully - at all times.