After reading a number of posts from our taller girls about not passing because of their height I thought I would add my 2 cents worth. Tall people are always looked at because they are different. Some of you girls are afraid of your height because you don’t think you can pass. You are looked at because you are tall and stand out but think of this; there are plenty of tall women out there that get stared at because they stand out and not because someone thinks they are a man in women’s clothes. I know a woman who is 6’3” in bare feet she is a genetic woman, I know because she gave birth the same day to her third boy when my wife gave birth to our fifth child. We have been friends for a long time before the birthing encounter. I saw her over at Costco the other day and chatted with her for a moment. She made me feel small next to her because she was wearing her high- heeled cowgirl boots, they must have been three inches high making her about five inches taller than me at 6’1”. She didn’t look much different than some of our tall gals on this site.
Let me first tell you that I was trained by my mother from an early age on how to observe human behavior. Her form of entertainment during the depression was to go to town and watch the pedestrians walking about their business. This carried over into the forties during the war until my father had a more lucrative job and she then could go to the movies instead. I learned from mom how to watch people so that they didn’t know they were being watched and not self-conscience of being looked at. Believe when I tell you this is really a skill.
I positioned myself so I could see my friend and the people around her doing their shopping and watched the reaction when they saw her. Yes, people did stop and stare. I was close enough to hear some remarks. Not one person I heard doubted her gender just remarked how tall she was. I will concede that she has an air of confidence about her and is proud of her height. Maybe that is the key to pulling to passing is to be proud and confident about your size.
My wife and I went shopping the other day and at the restaurant we had lunch at a very nice restaurant. A very tall and attractive girl came in with another girl who I would say was average size girl. Another opportunity to make some more observations. She was head and shoulders over her friend and those who saw her stopped and stared and lots of people turned their heads to crane a look. There were four guys seated next to our table and could hear everything they said before and after she made her appearance. They were twenty something and crude and rude in all they said, but nothing as to a doubtful gender.
I read somewhere in a blog site of a psychologist that worked with TS girls, she said that only about 40% of us girls have the ability to pass as real women. If your desire is to pass in public then there is a lot of work that needs to happen on order for that to work for you. I have had complimentary comments about the way I look on this site. Most have come from portraits where controlling light and angles make it happen. But if you were to see me as only my wife does (in the closet) but without all the tricks in lighting, you would see a very masculine looking woman that definitely does not pass. Then if you fit in my mold you should be like my friend Kathy Lake who just has fun and doesn’t worry about passing but be the very best you can be. And I bet there are times no one questions in their minds if what they see as Kathy is what she looks like a real woman. Just because of the confidence she exhibits.
LESSON ONE be proud of who you are and be confident. Study the small things women do. Passing is not just walking like a woman but what do you do when you are just there, standing or sitting. I love looking and watching people and appreciating the qualities that make us individuals, it is the cheapest most fun entertainment I know.
Sorry for the length of my post!
