Being small makes me tall (The Snake)

[Foxglove]

Hi, Everyone!

A bit of shopping today--in drab as usual, but who knows? Maybe that will change some day. No need to go into what I bought. This and that, got everything at a good price, found what I needed, a very successful outing. Though I will mention the coat I found. Exactly what I was looking for. Got it at a second-hand shop. Excellent condition, fit perfectly (I did try it on), and a great price--€15.

The point of interest for me today was something I noticed about myself. Some people are into self-analysis, some aren't. I personally like to take a look at myself from time to time. Ever since I decided to stop denying my TGism, I have noticed one or two little changes in my thinking and feeling--along with one pretty serious one, which I won't go into here.

Today, I again had the pleasant experience of queueing up with a lot of women to pay for purchases. Pleasant because all of a sudden I don't feel so small. As probably everybody knows by now, I'm on the rather smallish side: 5' 3" (and no longer growing). But when I'm in a queue with the girls, I can always find at least one or two who are smaller than me. It's like I've gotten a promotion.

When you're a guy 5' 3", the worst thing in the world is a tall woman. I mean, look, you're a guy, right? You're supposed to be big and brawny and powerful and protective, right? You certainly don't feel that way when you've got some woman looking down on you from her giddy heights.

Today, though, as I was walking about town, I saw a lot of tall women as usual--and all of a sudden I realized they don't make me feel inadequate any more. OK, they're tall girls, I'm a small girl. No big deal. They don't know it yet--though maybe they'll start finding out fairly soon. And nobody would guess it to look at me. But maybe they'll start guessing pretty soon. Who knows?

It's one advantage of no longer pretending to be what you're not. You don't have to accept the disadvantages of being what you're pretending to be.

What sort of girl am I? Certainly not the usual sort. Maybe only a pretend girl. But I'm certainly finding it more pleasant in ways being a pretend girl than a pretend guy. Maybe I should stop pretending. Maybe I should just say, "I'm trans." And if anybody wants to know what that means, I suppose I'll figure it out as I go along.

Happy tonight. "The snake is long, seven miles, he's old and his skin is cold"--but he/she is sloughing that skin.

Best wishes, Annabelle