I've stayed quiet with my dressing and desires around my house, being in a DADT relationship, but I have done things that are on the edge of getting re-outed to my wife, such as wearing a little eye makeup, underdressing, shaving, etc. Last week my wife noticed something, and stated, not for the first time, "I wish I had know before got married and had three kids." She went to our littlest's bedroom and decided to spend the night, responding to my statement, "come back to bed," with "I wouldn't be able to sleep anyhow." It passed and I wore a pair of panties in bed a few days later, and got caught again. I know it's my fault and I am looking for more of a discussion with my wife than silence.
So, I love my wife, I love my children, I'm okay with my work, I'm comfortable with our house, lifestyle, etc., and I don't want any those things to change. But for crossdressing, my wife and I have had, and still have a great, normal, sometimes argumentative relationship. I want her to be happy, but I'm not the person she thought I was when we married. If I had disclosed, based on her comments, our children, who we both adore, would not exist, because she would have ran, and but for the kids, she would still run.
My question, to those with wife's and families who have survived or lost: how did you make if work or why did if fail?
