So the last few weeks have been filled with lots of small things. Small to most of your girls probably but to me they seem "bigger"......

The last 10 months has seen the female side of my life really move forward in my mind. It was always there but the last 10 months has seen me add makeup and a wig last April then in December breast forms then last month things really started moving forward. I met a dear friend that has really been helping me understand what is going on in my mind better. Since my mind is a pretty messed up place that is saying something!!!! I've been moving in a direction to "owning it" more. I have shopped en homme for makeup and clothes. Not that I am patting myself on the back as the clothes excursions have always been under the guise of buying something for my wife and the old "can I get a gift receipt" or "do you have a gift box". The makeup shopping has been better as I have had several experiences in the isle with women basically shoulder to shoulder with me and me just shopping away.....none have said a word but I'm sure they are thinking "that color doesn't go with that color"...ect....and self check helps. I have set up an email account, a social media"page" (and even have several "friends" from here on there), a female Pinterest, ect..... All which just seem to make it seem more "real" and less "nebulous".

About October or November I "decided" that I "had" to go out in public as a female....and I put myself on a "deadline"....before summer. Well, like sands through the hourglass.....it's getting towards summer and still no courage to go out. So that brings us pretty up to date and now I get the feeling that there is a real chance I may get to go out this weekend "as a woman" (I know, that I won't "pass", but at least I can feel like a woman). There are just a couple of logistical obstacles to overcome (I'm still 100% closeted) but I actually think it may come to fruition.

I really just wanted to post this to say thanks to so many of you girls here. This place has really helped my journey and my understanding and several of you girls here are absolutely the best. AND I want it in someway to hold me to "really trying" to get out this weekend......Thanks for listening to me ramble and wish me luck!