Why/What???

[Alice K]

Debra, very thought provoking questions in your original post and why many have joined this site...to answer those questions.
As others have said it varies from person to person, each unique in our own way.
From my perspective I believe each person, male or female have a gender identity mapped by thousands of gender markers. (Nature). Or because the feminine role models were much more appealing that the male role models. (Nurture). Or both.

Some males have many feminine aspects to their personalities as do women with masculine markers. Some male role
models may have been repulsive.

The difficulties arise because society constricts, very forcefully, male behaviors. “Step outta line and the man comes and takes you away.” As the song says.

One should be able to wear what one wants when one wants or to express themselves as they feel the need but the social strictures do not permit deviation.

When younger (50’s) it would be taking your life into your own hands to express feminine traits as a young male. With ridicule, enough beatings, or threats at the hands of other young peers and “responsible” adults for just being yourself you learn to mask it and try to fit in as much as possible, sometimes with limited success 😊. BTW I don’t believe we have come much further in people’s acceptance from the 50,s in this regard and from my observations. The hate and fear is still generally raging regardless of some of the wonderful sporadic stories of acceptance we read here.
At some point you begin to wonder how many other boys or men out there are forced to repress significant aspects of their personalities because of these strictures.
How many uncreated works of art, unwritten poems, beautiful designs were not created because of societal repression of feminine aspects of male personalities?
Your questions are good questions, needed to be asked by many and thought through to help ourselves or to help the world stop the repression. If nothing to help explain to those who may need to know (wife, therapist, priest, people on this forum&#128521

Just answering “don’t ask the questions” won’t help anyone.

Just one persons view but good questions, thanks for asking.