Ups and Downs

[Gen D]

Well, I had a crazy month and only now I find strength to share it with you.
In the beginning of the month I met for the first time other cross dressers. In my request, It was in male clothes over a beer in some nice pub. It was nice to speaks freely, and we had it in the air that next time we will meet for dress.
And than, just two days after, I saw a Facebook event for meet and greet event for cross-dressers. they called it "safe haven" - safe place to dress. It was aמ initiative of drag queen and another girl. It looked so welcoming and cam and safe that I signed up in the same evening (after talked about it with my wife).
I really waited for it in the following two weeks. was thinking about what to wear. AND even dressed with my wife to try different looks and to get her advice. It was the first time she saw me dress for something like 9 months!
I was in the sky!

The meeting was in mid October. I came in and changed my clothe to Gen's, put my makeup on and just felt GOOD and FREE.
I thought that I will get blown away, but i didn't. I just felt good, very un-nervous and natural. met some new people. bought 2 bargain dresses.... (you can see them here)
That evening gave me motivation and I later that week opened a Facebook group ONLY for Israeli cross dresser without admirers etc.

so, you may ask, where is the down in your story?
well, that has to do with my wife. after she saw me again, and after my high from that night out she had it BAD...
I mean we still love each other very much, but she can't handle my looks as fem....
we had some anxious couple of days, with a lot of talks, some crying and a lot of silence and blame.
in the bottom line - she still kind of supporting my need to dress, as she realize it is part of me, but doesn't want to see me as Gen - it is to hard for her, and she afraid it will influence the why she sees my "male" me.

So - Ups - met some cross dressers, DRESS OUT for the first tine, Opened Facebook groups.
Downs - Bad time with my wife, on our way to "light" DADT ("take some time to dress, but don't tell me what you did") - when I write it, I thinking that some of you will say that it better than what you have, but I hoped to be some place else...