I understand the idea about women [meaning females] not 'passing'- in the sense of achieving the 'fully woman', meaning 'fully feminine' idealization. There are huge pressures on females to try to conform as much as possible to artificial standards that then are used to define them as 'women', and most do not 'pass' on all counts. Shoulders too broad, hips to narrow, chin too square, hair here or there, etc. Mannerisms, speech habits, voice register and timbre, body language, stance, thousands of elements of presentation are taken into account, and knowing whether someone is female or male is so fundamental to our biological imperative that we are very skilled at knowing by adding up all the check boxes.
There are males colloquially known as 'traps' where so many check boxes match that it takes longer to know, and even when they are dolled up and overall sexiness swamps the other clues, I doubt the victim isn't willingly blinding themselves! There are few women, no matter how masculine, who are mistaken for men. how the plumbing looks- with the exception of intersex people.
IMO those among us who try to pass are definitely depending on passing glances, not any kind of in depth encounter. IMO 'passing' happens when people don't pay too much attention, or just generously and silently agree to the offer we make to be accepted as a 'lady for a day' as a woman in my sewing class put it.
It may seem strange to some, but MIADs like me are also asking to pass- to be accepted, as males, as eligible to enjoy something that is normally reserved for females. And anyone who will accept us will also be nice to those working harder at more elements of the picture.
