A Q for FTM's: Lifestyle choices

[Ema1234 GG]

Hi Guys,

I hope you don't mind me coming in here to ask you all a question. It's something that I've thought about occasionally about the lifestyle choices of yourselves compared to the MTF crossdressers.

From what I have seen on the forum in general, many of you guys seem to present on a more full time basis compared to the MTF's. Many seem to see themselves as straight guys, who want to be guys, who just like to wear women's clothes.

But I get the impression for most FTM's it's perhaps a more full time lifestyle choice that you make and that many of you choose to present full time. Do you think perhaps this is because it is easier for a genetic woman to present as a man, compared to a genetic male presenting as a female? Or do you think that those genetic women who do just like to wear male clothing don't really see this as a transgender issue (compared to the MTF's) and so don't seek out forums such as this. Or am I wrong on all of these and you think something completely different?

I guess partly this has been caused by the lack of FTM's on this forum and me wondering why. So this is just my musings on the matter and I thought I'd ask the experts themselves so please do feel free to give your opinons. I'd really enjoy finding out what you guys think about this.

And please, FTM's only...

[Kieron Andrew]

But I get the impression for most FTM's it's perhaps a more full time lifestyle choice that you make and that many of you choose to present full time.

And please, FTM's only...

Welcome to our side of the same fence Emma

it is not a lifestyle choice for me, I didnt choose my gender dysphoria, I AM male, therefore dress accordingly, but it doesnt really have a lot to do with clothes its who i am on the inside...i just so happen to not have the correct body to reflect how my brain is wired....i guess you could say its almost a do or die situation to find inner peace

[SirTrey]

Kieron is totally right....This isn't about what we wear, it's about who we are....I don't think like a woman, ever...I don't feel like a woman, ever....I cannot function in relationships as a female partner, because I am NOT a woman....This board, in My opinion, has a lot more mtf's because they encompass more than one group...where we are just one.....the mtf side is made up of both cd's, people who crossdress, but still identify as males, and tg's and ts's who are more like us, they ARE women on the inside and identify as such....You really don't see a lot of ftm cd's, usually if a female bodied person dresses male he is a transman or she is a lesbian....And this is not a lesbian board....so they aren't on here....They are on their own boards....We have some guys who identify as bi-gendered, which means that they are both male and female in different measures....but they aren't crossdressers...They are bi-gendered, which is different....I hope I explained this well....There is a big difference between a trans person and a crossdresser.....Hope this helps to answer your question.....And thanks so much for asking it. **Trey**

[Cai]

I have to agree with Trey and Kieron that it's not a lifestyle choice to be a guy, it's just who I am. However, it is a lifestyle choice to present full time.

I agree with your statement that most women who wear men's clothing don't see it as a transgender issue. I also know that it's easier for women to wear men's clothing than it is for men to wear women's clothing. The trouble comes in that it is very hard for an FtM person to pass as a guy, because people are so used to seeing women in men's clothing.

[ZenFrost]

It wasn't a choice for me. I tried for many years to be a girl but it just didn't work because I'm not one.

It also isn't any easier for a woman to present as a man than it is for a man to present as a woman. It may be acceptable in society for a woman to wear pants, but it is a whole different matter entirely for a woman to wear men's pants and present as a man. It's just as unacceptable as a man trying to present as a woman.

And there isn't a lack of FtMs on this forum, there's more than 50 of us here. In general there are way fewer FtMs than MtFs (about 1 in 100,000 as opposed to 1 in 10,000) so naturally there'd be less on this site than MtFs. Another reason there are few on this site is because this site is called Crossdressers.com, and few of us are actually crossdressers so that probably turns some away.

[Tristan]

I'm on the whole this is not a lifestyle choice for me because I'm trans gendered not a crossdresser. I agree that however the reason the ftms here tend to be tg/ts and not cd's is because the wearing of men's clothing is pretty acceptable for a woman as long as they aren't trying to look like a man. I also agree that because so many women use men's fashion to be stylish and dress that way it is harder for transmen to pass.

[Dasein9]

Transgender here, too. Resisted the idea for decades.

In some ways, it is easier for ftm's to pass. It's not as unusual for a man to be 5'4", for instance, as it is for a woman to be 6'5".

However, the stakes can be higher if we run into adversity. Since we're often smaller, attackers have the advantage. So, I can kind of worry that when people think we pass more easily, that means we have an easier time of it. That's not always the case. Some of our issues are similar, and some are a bit different.

[CaptLex]

I hope you don't mind me coming in here to ask you all a question.

No, we don't mind - drop by anytime.

I get the impression for most FTM's it's perhaps a more full time lifestyle choice that you make and that many of you choose to present full time.

It's not a choice for me, Ema, and it's not a lifestyle . . . just life.

I guess partly this has been caused by the lack of FTM's on this forum and me wondering why.

Actually, we're enjoying record numbers right now . . . you should have seen this place two years ago when I got here.

[ZenFrost]

Actually, we're enjoying record numbers right now . . . you should have seen this place two years ago when I got here.

Yeah, I know I haven't been here too long but I think there's about twice as many boys as there were when I first joined. Of course, there are still a few M.I.A. (Question Mark, SL...)