Ok, I just recently told my son about you guys. He is here right next to me and I will now let him take over the keyboard.
hi, as of now all i would really like to know is why i am the way that i am. i really dont want to be this way. if anyone else found out they would probably call me a 'fag' or a 'queer'. every now and then i do get a chance to do it, while i do it it feels nice; but afterwards i always feel extreme shame. i feel as if i am letting myself down by doing this. when i see myself do it i basically ask, "why". for a good period of time afterwards i feel horrible, depressed, i want to stop but deep down i know that i cant. basically any input you can give me would be great.
I thank all of you for helping.