Young(er) and not feeling in place here

[Celeste]

Usually,when I note a new member I'll check their profile and age if provided.I always see new members between 20 and 30 almost daily.Then it seems they rather lurk in the background not making or commenting on any post or don't hang around long.Its good that you're talking about it and I hope it encourages others to speak and start threads of their own choosing.

As far as the age is concerned,I don't see where it should be a dividing line among people with the same interest,after all isn't it that which makes a forum,it's diversity.I personally would like to hear more about all styles from all age groups,so get posting.

[Sharon]

..... how does one appeal to the mods for the creation of such a board?

No promises, but this will be discussed by the staff.

[MentalMercury]

Well if I can make a closing statement in favor of the board.. the younger people's voices and concerns are getting drowned out it seems, and since I've started this thread and another person started the 'college aged CDers' thread its had a pretty big response, it'd be nice for us to have our own little 'nook' to go be among peers. Just like teenage girls all go hang out at the mall with other teens, etc, except we're not all 17 and being driven in mom's minivan, it's just an analogy! lol. I would love to redirect some of the chan boards toward that section so that the younger CDs aren't just seeing people who are taking hormones and stuff, and frontal male nudity (if they're not into it).

[StayceeCD]

Isn't it just like the young ones to think they can't learn from those who have "been there, done that".. In my experience, this is true with EVERY aspect of life. Why wouldn't it be the same with younger CD's? Hey, I LOVE short skirts! They actually still look really good on me too! But if I want to blend, I have to not wear them! I may look young but I am definitely not in my 20's and am actually glad! I was born at an AWESOME time, and would not give back 1 year! A time when the there was the coolest rock music and the worst disease you could get from sex was Herpes!

I share pretty much the same thoughts. I am 25 and the majority of fashion topics discussed on here pertain to a much older generation. IMHO, heels and pantyhose have not been in fashion for the younger generation in ages. Nobody, around my age wears pencil skirts and blouses with pantyhose and high heels. This is not an insult, but I just wish there was a place for younger cd's could talk on here about current casual fashion.

This is not true in Europe.. In Italy, and Spain I have seen many young girls wearing pantyhose and high heels.. Usually the trend takes a couple years to hit the USA but it it will!

[Raquel June]

I would love to redirect some of the chan boards toward that section so that the younger CDs aren't just seeing people who are taking hormones and stuff, and frontal male nudity (if they're not into it).

That could easily turn into a disaster if people from those forums start getting redirected here. The mods here are already kinda cranky (not necessarily a bad thing), and sending that kind of crowd here would probably lead to mass bannings rather quickly.

I'm just saying you might want to be selective about who you refer.

[joselyn318]

That's simply not true. Just because heels aren't casual doesn't mean they're not in fashion. Do you work in any kind of a professional environment? What kind of shoes do girls in their early to mid 20's wear?

I work in a rather casual professional business environment. Girls who don't have to wear anti-static shoes usually wear high heels. Even if they're wearing capris or nice jeans. Even if they're 22 and just finished college. Even if they're 20 and an intern. I'm talking about very attractive girls who want to look nice and be taken seriously, not dress like some high school kid with an attitude problem.

Seriously, there's a large area between sloppy-casual girl in a T-shirt and super-formal business girl with a blazer and skirt. That area is mostly filled by girls who wear nice shoes. That often means heels.

What kind of shoes do you think girls in their mid 20's wear during the day and/or to social events?

I am sorry but it is. I work in a laboratory on campus and none of the GG's wear pantyhose or heels. My wife (2 months younger than me), doesn't even own a pair of pantyhose. She does have a few pair of heels she wears at her music therapy internship and for formal events.

Don't think I know that there is a large area. However, I am guessing you have never step foot on a typical college campus where the average girl is wearing hoodies, jeans, mini skirts, and tennis shoes.

[MentalMercury]

That could easily turn into a disaster if people from those forums start getting redirected here. The mods here are already kinda cranky (not necessarily a bad thing), and sending that kind of crowd here would probably lead to mass bannings rather quickly.

I'm just saying you might want to be selective about who you refer.

You make a very valid point. I'll be careful as far as that goes.

[Amy Hepker]

Dress the way you want as long as you are happy, it does not matter what others think if it did you would not be dressing in the first place, Right???

[joselyn318]

Isn't it just like the young ones to think they can't learn from those who have "been there, done that".. In my experience, this is true with EVERY aspect of life. Why wouldn't it be the same with younger CD's? Hey, I LOVE short skirts! They actually still look really good on me too! But if I want to blend, I have to not wear them! I may look young but I am definitely not in my 20's and am actually glad! I was born at an AWESOME time, and would not give back 1 year! A time when the there was the coolest rock music and the worst disease you could get from sex was Herpes!




This is not true in Europe.. In Italy, and Spain I have seen many young girls wearing pantyhose and high heels.. Usually the trend takes a couple years to hit the USA but it it will!

I am sorry but it won't. The 80's fashion have ended a long time ago...

I really see a divide on this forum from the older and more dominant members to the younger members.

It seems like the older members on here dress like my mother and grandmother. There is nothing wrong with that, but current fashion as seen in seventeen is rarely discussed on here.

There is a reason why I tend to post more on a forum that is more populated with younger members than this forum. I just do not feel comfortable on here, especially when the average age is 20 years senior to my own.

[MentalMercury]

If I didn't look like some kinda pervert I would walk out of my dorm right now, go take pictures of random girls walking around campus, and you would see all of them in jeans. If it were a bit warmer like yesterday, maybe some miniskirts, but the hose is very rare. Havn't we agreed yet though that that's an older generation thing, and all the young people are saying is that we just don't identify with you and would like to connect to peers?

Lots of older members are throwing in their 2 cents but most of it has absolutely nothing to do with bringing the young people together. You guys (gals) are already in lots of familiar company, all we want is to be able to enjoy the same.

edit: P.S. I like to dress up all fancy-like just like the rest of you and find it very fun, if you could see the rest of my avatar picture, you'd see that I'm wearing thigh-high striped stockings.. but this outfit is something I'd never wear out of the house. The whole hose discussion came about as a way of pointing out how the younger crowd just doesn't go about things the same way and would like more peers to talk to.

[LizSummers]

I don't think anyone wants to dismiss any of the knowledge and experience available here, I just think that for some of the younger CDs, it can be hard to relate to the older CD generation.

In terms of myself, I lurked here for so long and was reluctant to jump in because it seemed as if everyone was so much older than I, and I felt so far removed from that (apparently) over-represented age group.

[LizSummers]

Your communicating on a computer. What is there to be afraid of. If you keep lurking and not joining in we will never have a cohesive group and we will all have to struggle in our little sub sections. What is there to be afraid of?
We are discussing CDing and clothes and make up and junk.
WE ARE NOT YOUR PARENTS we are your peers just a different age.
Jodie

But it's not a matter of being afraid, it's about being able to relate. Yes, the older generation have been in our situations before, and they have a lot of advice to offer, which I think we all appreciate and look to for help. But I think a large number of us are also looking for friends who we can go through it *with*.

[MentalMercury]

I talked for quite a while last night with another younger member of this forum who was feeling very at odds with himself over the whole CDing thing and he said multiple times that having another person of his age to talk to about it was really refreshing.

Basically, yeah, if we have questions we can't answer amongst ourselves, we would go to you, but I think I speak for all of the young people on this forum when I say we would rather be asking each other first. Just like any non-CD related things, you want to talk to someone about relationship troubles, we go to our friends of the same age first. Same concept.

Not trying to be a troublemaker or offend anyone, that's just how we operate, you've been there too, you must know how it feels.

[LizSummers]

I talked for quite a while last night with another younger member of this forum who was feeling very at odds with himself over the whole CDing thing and he said multiple times that having another person of his age to talk to about it was really refreshing.

Basically, yeah, if we have questions we can't answer amongst ourselves, we would go to you, but I think I speak for all of the young people on this forum when I say we would rather be asking each other first. Just like any non-CD related things, you want to talk to someone about relationship troubles, we go to our friends of the same age first. Same concept.

Not trying to be a troublemaker or offend anyone, that's just how we operate, you've been there too, you must know how it feels.

I wholeheartedly agree

[Shelly67]

Perhaps this should be remembered - "Many a good tune can be played on an old fiddle "

[erinlove]

ok i am a younger girl as well i just no if any of the other younger had a kid our dose have a kid in the age of 10 to 14 and they wanted to become tg our cd would you grab your car keys rate away with credit card in the other hand and take them to the mall shopping our would you tell them that they need to talk to some one about how they are feeling about there life style


me my self i think i would want my kid to talk to some one first and then have a blast with them shopping and try to be there for them no matter what they want to do

[CharleneT]

Looking at the responses here and in the other thread, I believe the time is right to start a younger gen forum. There is clearly a need and it could be a real advantage in expanding how we look at the whole community. It is true that the conversations in most of the forums are pretty much between older folks. It is great to see all those who've been posting in these threads come out and speak !

Let'em have their cake

C.

[tricia_uktv]

Just wondering if anyone shares my sentiment..

I find this whole 'walking in heels/pantyhose' thing is a common theme here... in my eyes, its not very common for real women to be running around in heels and pantyhose. Maybe since I'm younger though (22) things are different, but I feel a distinct separation from most of this community.

To me, casual crossdressing is jeans, boots, girly band tee, hairstyle, eyeliner, mascara, little cover up for beard stuff. And the club/dressy type stuff would be skirt, corset, again boots, fishnets, more makeup than I would for a casual look. You know.. just like other real women I see. Am I one of the only ones approaching it this way? Everyone seems to try and look like a secretary or some business woman.

Anyone else like me out there who looks at alot of these threads and goes "whut?". Sticking to the -chan boards (for the younger age group) is getting stagnant and I'm personally getting sick of all the nudity they post there and the fact that straight up transitioning/transitioned TGs have conquored control over casual/general crossdressing discussion.

Ok thats brilliant what you are saying and is so true. I believe all of us here need to leave a legacy to help girls like you get through it all (but we don't necessarily know the answers). I suspect that there are very few girls like you out there - they supress it because the masculine hormones come in. Actually I met one last week when I was out and invited her back to try on my stash. Needless to say she loved it all and didn't want to leave.

I am trying to do two things:
Get myself out
Stop others, particularly younger girls, falling into the trap I did

The latter is hard because there are far too few girls so young willing to accept what they are.

So we either try to do something about it, or accept it as it is,

[Stargirl]

I imagine the same thread will be repeated in a few years. A (future) twenty something might wander in, and tell the older girls that "You girls dress so much like 2008. Come ON ! It's 2028 ! get with it !" I should still be around then. It will be fun to read. Maybe.

[Julie York]

Hang on a sec.

Let's get a clear head on this. The forum is fragmented enough and the Mods have so many places to move threads to as it is that it probably makes their heads spin. This forum is open to anyone wanting to post about whatever their CD concerns are. If someone posts about a minority subject then they may have to wade through a few well meaning people talking rubbish, but they are trying to help. If it isn't relevant it isn't relevant.

To create a niche club for EVERY subdivision of CDing would be insane. Where does it stop?

If younger CDs want to post, then POST! Post away. Make friends. Get your word out. When you post on an open forum you are asking everyone on the forum and everyone has the right to answer. As a consequence you find the like minded people, and bore the non-likeminded people and it all sort of levels out. Folk in tune with your threads sympathise. Folk who don't, leave you alone because it's of no interest.

Like attracts like.











(Mods: So how about my Petticoats and stockings forum? Huh? No-one got back to me.)

[shirley1]

i dont have a problem with younger cders wanting their own chatroom ect - i think they should, they have it on other sites like one i'm on in britain - but i just dont like the generalisation that anyone over say 30 is out of touch with todays ggs fasions ect - if you were to see my wardrobe (closet in usa) you definately wouldnt say it belongs to a middle aged person !! i agree as i say with talking with peops your own age i understand that - but i hate steriotyping on any level ie age,gender,race ect - its wrong !!!!!!!!

sorry didnt realise you were goth ! no offence but i live in england and yeh there are goths over here - but here it would be defined as more of a cultural thing rather than a cd related age thing - now i know why i dont live in the states ! no offence its just a totally different world !

[Holly]

...Not trying to be a troublemaker or offend anyone, that's just how we operate, you've been there too, you must know how it feels.

And that, MM is precisely the point. We have been there and and we DO know how it feels. Part of the whole socialization process is learning how to survive and thrive in diverse environments and situations. It has been claimed that some of our younger members don't post much because they feel "uncomfortable" among those of us who are advanced life experiencers (<--new word--<<). If they are uncomfortable here, a place where acceptance (at least in theory) should be high, where else are they to go to learn to be comfortable in other social situations? MM, you and your friend seem like lovely people. I would feel cheated if I was deprived of the chance to get to know you all better because you all chose to, "stay in your room."

[Tamara Croft]

Jeez, you know when some of you wanted a clothing section and a beauty section, gm forum, ts private forum and blah blah blah... we accommodated this... we did this because the members wanted this. Now our younger members are asking us to help them, help them feel more at home here... and it isn't about segregation at all, 18 year olds don't want advice from 60 year olds how to dress... they'll end up looking like grannies... and 18 year olds just don't click with older people, they speak different, they dress different, they aren't all about stockings and high heels... they are different, they want something for them, what's so wrong about that?

It's being discussed now, I'm hoping to trial it it would be a nice place for my own daughter to join, to interact with people her own age, instead of getting bored with the ssdd stuff on here... so people, please, this is their request, not yours ok?

[MentalMercury]

Jeez, you know when some of you wanted a clothing section and a beauty section, gm forum, ts private forum and blah blah blah... we accommodated this... we did this because the members wanted this. Now our younger members are asking us to help them, help them feel more at home here... and it isn't about segregation at all, 18 year olds don't want advice from 60 year olds how to dress... they'll end up looking like grannies... and 18 year olds just don't click with older people, they speak different, they dress different, they aren't all about stockings and high heels... they are different, they want something for them, what's so wrong about that?

It's being discussed now, I'm hoping to trial it it would be a nice place for my own daughter to join, to interact with people her own age, instead of getting bored with the ssdd stuff on here... so people, please, this is their request, not yours ok?

[thwaiter]

I just wanted to say that I'm 25 and think that what mentalmercury has done is fantastic. I would also like to see a board where young cds can chat and talk about there experiences and why they might still be shy to jump in and talk about this part of themselves to other people. I know that I'm one who is a little shy, and always keeps apologising for it or thinking that I'm weird, silly or stupid. I hope that I've made a little sense here, and that I can continue to make new friends on here.