We as crossdressers have gone thru a transformation of personality or what we call shifting of personality from male to female , Yet this transformation wiggles from one side to the other , some shift all the way others balance in between.... I myself try to let the woman personality wins yet social attributions creats a barriere to my shifting .....what do you feel all of you about this swing .....and does it bother you from time to time .?
Hi Rian,Originally Posted by rian
Good question. I am not sure though that my fella has gone through a transformation of personality because he has never been what you would call macho in his thinking. We joke about his femm persona and I always call him my little puff. joking apart, he seems to be pretty consistent personality wise whether dressed or not and I have always felt him to be more emotional and demonstrative than your regular guy which at times has left him wide open and vulnerable. He refuses to join in the banter of the regular males in the footy changing rooms and he hates the way that some of them talk about women.
Take care
Bev
Hi Rian.
I,ve never noticed my personality changing myself, but my daughter, who knows about and accepts my crossdressing, has commented that i seem much calmer since accepting myself for who i am.
Also several other people i know, who don,t know about me being a crossdresser have said i seem to have become a lot more relaxed and easy going since splitting wth my wife. [After coming "out" to her we split up].
So maybe once we reach a certain point of accepting ourselves, some of us do have a certain amount of transformation in our personalities and we become better people because of it.
i think that when i was confused as to just what i thought i should be. i did a lot of shifting back and forth.. at times being more "him" or more "her" but now i see me more just "me".. what i like to call my both sides "PLAYING NICE TOGETHER"........
see when i thought i was a cross dresser i needed to have two sides and over compensate in either mode..... now that i know i am not a cross dresser i don't feel that need to prove i am more fem or more him... i can just be me .... this works for me ....
Bothers me every time I have to swing back to male mode hun.
Angie
This question is interesting because I wonder about such things now and then. (what else you going to do driving in traffic?)
I wonder if it's really a change, a drift, or just a recentering based on the integration of the femme side. I tried to be male male for so many years and never really was in sync with my male friends. As I integrated Kate into my world, the boy relaxed and became more likable, comfortable and happier. I don't think I moved in that direction, merely allowed that part to flourish and the contentment followed.
K
Hi Riana,
What I have noticed about my self, has been the letting go of the typical male BS of holding in emotions and not allowing myself to feel exactly what I feel. Of course society and relationships tend to put you in a place where you have to rein it in at times, but when I am with myself or someone I trust, I can be as emotional as I want to be. About 8 years of weekly therapy helped too!
I am very happy with my shift to the feminine, which was not really a shift but a letting go of all "the shoulds, and not good enoughs".
Last edited by Jonianne; 07-06-2008 at 09:01 AM.
Joni
"Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free" Bob Dylan
I don't find it a shift, per se, I find it as a release, a freedom to let out my innner self, and when that happens, I feel free and relaxed. I am in comfort, with no mental barriers.
I always feel that I'm being more "myself" when I'm en femme and that I'm half-heartedly trying to put on a macho act the rest of the time. It has not worked because I get comments all the time that indicate that people see me as being a little effeminate. I guess I shouldn't fight it so much.
I found that to start with there were two seperate persona's but the deeper I get into the dressing side of things, the more the persona's are joining. Both sides benefit from it. Iain's soft skills are so much better at work and home because of Tricia's presence. Tricia sometimes needs Iain's organisational and management skills herself. So both sides benefit and they are definately almost becoming one now
I strut my stuff, I feel so proud,
I need to shout, to scream out loud,
I am Tricia I am she,
I am who I want to be
http://tricia-dale.blogspot.com/
For me it wasn't so much a 'shift' as a rediscovery. When i was 5 or 6 I remember always hanging around the girls in school, acting a little girly and having male friends didn't particularly interest me Just the way I was. But then as it became more and more obvious that I was the 'weird kid' this got repressed and I adapted to be accepted by the other boys (it kinda worked...) So then lately all these memories come flooding back, but they are offset by the harsh reality that I am male and no matter how much I crave it I will never really fit in with my girl friends, as a girl or otherwise. Frustrating...
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
i find my dressing leads to some differences in my attitudes and behavior.
I don't swing
In former times, when married, I was frustrated because there was no (or little) outlet, but since I've been living on my own for several years, I've become accustomed to how I feel at certain times, and I'm now able to channel those feelings as needed, where and when they are needed.
I'm one of the shape shifters. I am just fine being male me for months on end and then female me taps me on the shoulder and wants to say hello. It's rather confusing because you have to juggle everything to make it work and not 'out' yourself when you are wandering around in male mode admiring blouses.
When I'm in guy mode,I'm 100% guy. But when I become Felicity,the femme side comes out. I'll talk some what girly, call my SO sweetie and so forth.So why not let her out fully is what I say.
Felicity
"Its now official,my femme name is Felicity"
Have to drink to that.
"Proud To Be My Wife's Part Time Wife"
I pretty much have the same personality regardless how I am dressed. In male mode, I am very soft, caring, emotional (though I hold back as much as possible), and usually find it easy to control my temper. In female mode I exhibit the same traits and at the same level as when a male but it seems at a normal female level. The emotional side as a female, I don't need to hold back, so I feel much better.
Pamela
I know I smile a lot more. I try to have at least a happy look cause I am when dressed. I don't sloutch in my seat like I do as a guy. I don't belch loudly and then critique how good or weak it was. I am more calm.
It takes a true Erin to be a pain in the assatar.
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