Am I a transsexual?

[Valeria]

Why a GG would be interested in a FTM Tranvestite is beyond my comprehension!!

People post in this forum all the time about males and females who are interested in males who crossdress. Why is a female being interested in a female who crossdresses any more unusual?

Not that this is necessarily the same thing, but I know lots of females who like drag kings, and there are also lots females with a preference for (or interest in) butch girlfriends.

[CaptLex]

CaptLex, I was stating the definition generally used by professionals. Many years ago, in Seattle, I did meet a FTM Transvestite who told me she did routinely meet GG's for sexual reasons. Yes, I did ask her! Why a GG would be interested in a FTM Tranvestite is beyond my comprehension!!

Wow, I think I've just been insulted.

First of all, so-called "professionals" are not usually well-informed about us (FtMs), so their definitions don't mean much to me.

Secondly, I'm referring to your saying that CDs of either sex crossdress mainly for sexual gratification - I haven't yet heard an FtM say that. I wasn't saying that FtMs don't have sex with GGs or anyone else. I was talking about the clothes being a turn on.

Thirdly, you can't understand why a GG would be interested in an FtM? Seriously? All kinds of people are attracted to all other kinds of people. I presume you've heard of GGs and GMs being attracted to MtF CDs and transwomen, so why is it beyond your comprehension that a woman would be attracted to a (possibly) female-bodied guy?

Try expanding your horizons.

[sissystephanie]

Wow, I think I've just been insulted.

First of all, so-called "professionals" are not usually well-informed about us (FtMs), so their definitions don't mean much to me.

Secondly, I'm referring to your saying that CDs of either sex crossdress mainly for sexual gratification - I haven't yet heard an FtM say that. I wasn't saying that FtMs don't have sex with GGs or anyone else. I was talking about the clothes being a turn on.

Thirdly, you can't understand why a GG would be interested in an FtM? Seriously? All kinds of people are attracted to all other kinds of people. I presume you've heard of GGs and GMs being attracted to MtF CDs and transwomen, so why is it beyond your comprehension that a woman would be attracted to a (possibly) female-bodied guy?

Try expanding your horizons.

Sorry if I insulted you! Maybe my horizons, after being a CD for over 60 years, are too expansive.

First; The professionals I was referring to were PHD's specializing in gender "disorders." I believe they do know what they are talking about.

Second: I said "Transvestites" dress for "sexual gratification." That is the textbook definition of a Transvestite! Not a crossdresser who does it for any other reason.

Thirdly: I do agree with you on this. I just wasn't thinking very clearly when I wrote that post. At least on that point! I have a bum right shoulder and it has been hurting lately. Probably will have to have surgery. Hope it doesn't hinder my dressin!

Sissy/Stephanie

[CaptLex]

Sorry if I insulted you! Maybe my horizons, after being a CD for over 60 years, are too expansive.

Okay . . . I don't know what that means, though.

First; The professionals I was referring to were PHD's specializing in gender "disorders." I believe they do know what they are talking about.

I figured that's what you meant, but it's been my experience that these people haven't done as much research on us and have some of their "facts" wrong. For example, some of these "experts" still believe that all FtMs are attracted to women.

Second: I said "Transvestites" dress for "sexual gratification." That is the textbook definition of a Transvestite! Not a crossdresser who does it for any other reason.

Okay, that I understand, but I don't think the classic definition applies to women who crossdress in male clothing. Which makes me think that, again, the definitions were not written with FtMs in mind.

Thirdly: I do agree with you on this. I just wasn't thinking very clearly when I wrote that post. At least on that point! I have a bum right shoulder and it has been hurting lately. Probably will have to have surgery. Hope it doesn't hinder my dressin!

Good luck with the surgery.

[tricia_uktv]

Most girld here would share your experiences but it doesn't necessarily make them transexual. I am now living weekends as a woman and weekdays as a man. Am I transsexual? I suppose only time will tell.

[Valeria]

Personally I think most CDs are TS, perhaps not as far along the scale as some post op TS-Lady or Guy...but they are TS.

I think the accuracy of that statement depends on the definition you are using of "TS". Not everyone defines being TS as being synonymous with simply having some gender dysphoria .

Seems like a ton of post op TS people go thru a CD phase first. I see that all the time with the CDs/TVs/TSs in Atlanta that I watch over the years.

This is from a pretty selective point of view, however. I can assure you from personal experience that there are many post-op TS women from Atlanta who *never* went through a "CD phase". The thing is, you've only met the ones that did.

One study I luv said we are on two magnitudes of intelligence higher than the avg person.

I've heard the claim, but I've never seen any credible data to back it up -- and I assume you mean "two standard deviations", because two magnitudes (as in "orders of magnitude") isn't very likely.

But to answer Roybn's question yeap I would guess she is TS...especially considering the early crossdressing

I wouldn't hazard a guess. Being turned on by "hot men" certainly isn't a clue, and lots of people who claim they have no desire to transition report crossdressing at an early stage.

Look back at your life for instance, did you ever like hanging out with a bunch of guys, or enjoyed associating with the girls better?

I'd be willing to stake a large sum of money that whether you've ever enjoyed hanging out with guys or associating with girls is not a definitive test. Some cis females enjoy hanging out with guys, and some of them don't like spending much time with a group of girls. It doesn't make them one iota less female.

[Delila]

Yeah, as odd as it sounds... I actually feel a little twinge of jealousy inside when my girlfriend complains about her period. I'm sure that if I were a genetic girl, I would feel differently about it, but right now, I just have a bad case of "the grass is greener" syndrome.

I am almost always jealous when my wife complains about her period. She tells me "you can have it any time if you can figure out how." I always say I wish. I don't think it makes you transexual to feel a wish to be more feminine as long as you don't feel that you can't go on as a man.

[Empress Lainie]

I have yet to hear of a female-to-male crossdresser who does it for sexual gratification.

Read Crossing by Deidre McCloskey. before her epiphany she did it for years.

note: I never did any crossdressing except once to see if I was passable, just before my epiphany and overnight transition to 24/7.

Not sure if my halloween day as a girl when 12 counted.

EDITED: My mistake, Deidre was like me MTF, so I think Capt Lex is correct, there aren't any.

[Steph Butterfield]

Hi Robyn,

TS girls and boys self identify as transsexual at various stages of life, sometimes like me at 3 years old, but for some in their 20's or even older, its different for each individual.

You'll know at some point in your life if you are TS, but seeing a gender psychiatrist or therapist can help you to know if transition is appropriate.

One thing is for sure, there is no "one size fits all" model for transitioning, we are as diverse as society itself in terms of age, race, sexuality etc, and long may that continue.

I wish you well in your own personal journey

lots of love

Stephanie

[stevie b]

wow That started some thinking, I am even more confused now. I don't who I am. Love female company, hate male company, dislike my old `boys`, hate looking in the mirror when in male mode, fantisised when wounger about being a girl. I am not attracted to men, would I live dresses full time, probably if I could, would I have surgery, god knows.
Perhaps it's just a phase, been over 40 years now so perhaps not.
xx

[Bev06 GG]

Yeah, as odd as it sounds... I actually feel a little twinge of jealousy inside when my girlfriend complains about her period. I'm sure that if I were a genetic girl, I would feel differently about it, but right now, I just have a bad case of "the grass is greener" syndrome.

Tee hee, sorry I know thats not funny but it did raise a smile from me. Some women never suffer from period pains, and others are in agony for days. Believe me that is one side of being female that I would definitely swap with you girls because there have been months when It has put me in my bed for a couple of days.
Take care
Bev

[AngharadD]

Wow, I think I've just been insulted.

First of all, so-called "professionals" are not usually well-informed about us (FtMs), so their definitions don't mean much to me.

Secondly, I'm referring to your saying that CDs of either sex crossdress mainly for sexual gratification - I haven't yet heard an FtM say that. I wasn't saying that FtMs don't have sex with GGs or anyone else. I was talking about the clothes being a turn on.

1. Ttly
2. For the sexual-gratification cding, I know two ftm crossdressers who did it (one also did drag) - one was heteroflexible bicurious, the other was a lesbian. And I know a trans guy who went on t recently and was ashamed of it for a while because he felt it made him not a ts...
3. I have nothing

As for the OP and being TS - some of what Tamara says makes sense, in a way... But not entirely.
Pick whichever gender you see yourself as: man, woman, anything else (the list can get quite long)... Would you see yourself living your daily things that way? Fully? See yourself as this gender in jeans and tshirt? To the extent that presenting as your assigned gender would probably, in fact, be more performance/drag/caricature in your mind? Or something you would even never do?


Then maybe you are...
Only you know.
IMHO - There is a life to be lived - the rest is theory.

[Diane Elizabeth]

I am a 55yo cd. As a kid I tried on my mothers things and got a kick out of it. And had to dress for a skit at a camp once. But mainly I didn't know what I was and tried to be a man for nearly 40 yrs. Never feeliing right and not understanding why. When I was married I didn't cd, but I loved to feel the wives' clothing material. I continued trying to be a "man" (grew up with John Wayne as my hero), but I was not comfortable. I tried to fit in with other man conversations. Not very successfully. I always preferred to be in on the womens conversations. Never understood any of this before. Now I am beginning to see the puzzle pieces fit in better. I am still not sure if I am just a cd or a tg. But I am at a better place in my life now that I have found a direction to go. Still have a lot of problems (bumps in the road). Thank you all for such a great forum. This is almost as good as a therapist. Dylen

[TxKimberly]

Well what the hell, I'll throw my humble opinion out there as regards your post and some of the comments that followed it.

• Only you can answer that question. No one can make that call for you. Only you can say how you perceive yourself.
• I see a lot of talk about seeing a therapist, or what ever the name of the day is for them. I know I'm gonna get flamed for saying this, but personally think they are a crock. They take a HUGE amount of your money to talk you around to admitting things to yourself that you already know. Save your money and just take a good, hard, honest look inside yourself. You don't need to pay a fortune to some PHD so he can tell you something you already know about yourself.

[CaptLex]

Read Crossing by Deidre McCloskey. before her epiphany she did it for years.

But she's MtF, right? Not FtM?

[Nadia-Maria]

I understand what Tamara is saying about a TS just knowing they are TS and just being who they are. I thought about that when I was young and questioned my gender. Why do I want to be a girl? Why am I praying every night that I will wake up in the morning and find that I have become a girl and can now go on with my life and no longer question my gender? But since I did not wake up as a girl I dealt with it. I kept it all hidden and lived as a the boy I was. I just knew I was different than all other boys. I still enjoyed doing boy things and was good at sports and liked girls. Fear was the big thing. I couldn't tell anyone about how I was feeling and I couldn't let anyone even question my masculinity. When I first learned about transsexuals I wondered if I could ever get a sex change. I also wondered if transsexuals hated the bodies they were in why didn't I hate mine? Maybe because I learned to deal with my situation since I knew I couldn't have a female body.

Could have written that. It’s exactly my own story and how I felt.

So I am somewhere on the spectrum close to the TS group. I am a CD also because I am not going to be changing my body at all. I like men and women so I can be labelled - Bi sexual. It can all be very confusing trying to put a completely correct label on yourself. Mine would be a listing of labels, TS being one of them.

Here is the difference between both of us. I am somewhere on the spectrum, nevertheless not that close to the TS group. Maybe, partly or especially, because I don’t like men. I like women so that somewhere I’m happy with remaining a guy ...

Nadia

[maid phylis]

dear robyn..yes you are like all of us and i also started late even that i knew i was different,i should have started earlier but as things go i am glad i finally realized that i was a tranny and i learned to live with it.phylisanne

[abundantly_me]

Hi,
I actually think of all the things i have missed in my life, prom dresses, 1st kiss and omg, my period. Has anyone else felt this strange?

Thanks,
Robyn

Trust me, any male, that idolizies the idea of a period, or the fact that they didn't have one is ummmmmm well I won't say.

If you regret the idea of never having a period because then you wouldn't be able to bare children, now that idea I can understand.

Trust me, outside of that fact, you don't see females jumping for joy that they have their period. In fact, speaking for myself I'm thanking my lucky stars that I'm finally entering that phase of life where it will be a thing of the past. No more discomfort, no more worries, heck I could just jump for joy!

[trannie T]

You ara what you are. none of us are the same which makes it difficult or impossible to put an individual into one specific category. If you are confused and this confusion causes you some personal turmoil think about finding a good therapist. Good luck to you, I hope you find some inner peace.

[Bev06 GG]

So you can be a Crossdresser, and not deserve the title of Transvestite! I take offense at anyone who calls me that! I am a CD, thats all!

Sissy/Stephanie

Lady on the outside, but man underneath!

Ooooopps I'll have to remember that Stephanie. I always call my CD friends my little trannies. Its all done in fun and with great affection but I always thought a CD and a Transvestite were one and the same.
Sorry folks.
Bev

[Bev06 GG]

Robyn if its causing you concern then go and see a therapist. Make sure its someone of reputable reputation though because there are some real wackos around.
And try and go with an open mind. Talk to others who are in a similar situation, there is a girl on here called Carolineoaklands, hope ive got the name right. She is pretty much in the same position as yourself and she has a very healthy attitude toward it all.l
I dont want to sound patronising but it could just be a time of life thing, some CDs go through a stage of confusion as to their identity and it could be that this is nothing more than that.
I wish you well and hope you soon have peace of mind.
Take care
Bev

[kendra o'riley]

Hi,
II actually think of all the things i have missed in my life, prom dresses, 1st kiss and omg, my period. Has anyone else felt this strange?

Thanks,
Robyn

Sweetheart -
As you can see, from the posts above,you live in a spectrum. (Sorry Tamara Hood - your aim ain't true on this one... whizzzzzz) For those of us who have sought professional counseling, we've been told a myriad of things. I've been told that I am "high functioning" TS - which means that I'm a black belt, james bond, superfly, king fu expert at suppressing my true feelings - which is probably how we all have to manage our daily lives. Some form of denial or suppression, unless we are dressing for work everyday. (You know you look thru the closet and go ugh... why can't I wear a skirt today?) But Some of our sistahs have taken the plunge that we all long for, or fantasize about, or merely made peace with, or found the perfect balance with... it's a spectrum.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it Ms. Phelps, is to find the balance, peace, or tipping point for you. And no one can make this decision for you. Nobody is playing with the same cards as you. No website, bulletin board or chat over wine with your homegirls is going to do the trick - cuz sis... the question that we all have to face no matter where we are on this spectrum is... "no matter what I am or may be, TS TG CD TV or BFD... what am I going to do about it?"

Give yourself the time and quiet space to look within -

[charlie]

Hi,
I am 55 years old and really concerned about my sexuality. I have crossdressed when I was younger, 11 or so. I was married once and now married again and still feel like I should have been born a woman. I absolutely hate having a hairy body and that other thing.Could all of this because of loss of male hormones with age? I am so embarrassed being turned on by hot men now. I actually think of all the things i have missed in my life, prom dresses, 1st kiss and omg, my period. Has anyone else felt this strange?

Thanks,
Robyn

Talk to your doctor. Perhaps one of the testosterone patches will give you some type of relief. I used them at age 55 and had pretty good results. A bit more hair and beard, but it evened out my personality quirks a bit. Then I had to stop due to concern about prostate cancer that exists in my family. if your family history is good, try it.

[Nicki B]

As I explained in my earlier post, a Transvestite is a crossdresser (of either sex!) who CD's primarily, if not purely, for sexual gratification with a member of the same sex. Many male Transvestites are gay, or at least looking for sex with men. On the other hand, a very large number of CD's do it for the same reason that I do! Just because they like to!! Sure it may be a"turn-on," but that doesn't mean that you necessarily want to have sex with another man!

But for much of the world, the terms are used interchangeably - there is no real difference between them (they mean exactly the same thing).

All who identify as TV (for example Eddie Izzard) do not identify as gay, nor do it 'just to have sex with men' (I've never met anyone who dressed solely to have sex with men...).

If you hold on to this distinction, I'm afraid you're going to find yourself 'insulted' pretty regularly?

[Empress Lainie]

quote[I'd be willing to stake a large sum of money that whether you've ever enjoyed hanging out with guys or associating with girls is not a definitive test. Some cis females enjoy hanging out with guys, and some of them don't like spending much time with a group of girls. It doesn't make them one iota less female.[/quote]

Only using my own experience which may not apply to others. I never liked boys or men in groups, and still am rather anti-male.