Hi Jill, After reading and re-reading all the posts concerning your problem I have come to the conclusion that your SO is trying to force you into a situation of physical abuse and by that I mean striking her so could have you arrested on assault or domestic battery(depending on where you live) I realize you are smarter then that but I also know that everyone has a limit. Reading between the lines I think you are almost there!!! A few of the girls have suggested to see a lawyer and YOU SHOULD just to see where you stand legally. Actually when your SO screams at the child she is committing abuse and you could write all of this down should you ever need documentation. I feel for what you are going through and no one should have to be subjected to any kind of threat(s), demeaning accusations or any other negative harassment.
Mollyanne