and fell in love. I thought I should tell her before we got too serious. I did and she is accepting -- so far. My biggest fear is that she will change her mind about the crossdressing like others I have read about.
and fell in love. I thought I should tell her before we got too serious. I did and she is accepting -- so far. My biggest fear is that she will change her mind about the crossdressing like others I have read about.
That is great, Laura. Just take it slow and let her feel out her feelings as you go along.
Sister will you…
Make believe…
Play dress up…
Let me be the Princess…
Tell me stories in the dark…
Always be my friend?
Trust me you did the right thing, even if you ended up losing her.
Alot of us have made that mistake not telling ours early, learn from us
Lets just hypothetically say you never said a word, do you want to live with her lieing, hiding stuff etc.... its not how you really want to start a trusting relationship.
The only reason I see that was positive not telling my SO early, she said she would have left then and there. Now we're working thru it and making progress, and have alot of great years behind us and hopefully many more aheadBut overall its best telling them shortly after starting a relationship.
edit: Educating her about cd'ing will also be very helpfull, mine still comes up with some really off the wall questions and the more you and her know about cd'ing the better. She's thinking all kinds of things right now, its only natural, discuss any fears she has and put them to rest.
Last edited by Jess_cd32; 03-07-2009 at 12:48 PM.
Laura,
Talk with her be honest if she asks any questions will she most likely will do. Tell her about this forum and the fact that other SO are members here, so she is not on her own.
She's bound to be having all kinds of thoughts, tell her that if she wants to she can ask anything.
Most of all please don't rush or push anything, if she wants to set some boundaries then talk with her about them and come to a decision that suits you both, maybe suggest that after a certain period of time these are discussed again to see if maybe they can be extended, but if you can't both agree then they stay the same until both of you are ready.
Sandra
Administrator
I always used to rib you about your legs can't anymore. R.I.P Sexy Legs
R.I.P Rianna
Congratulations, you should have her read My Husband Betty by Helen Boyd. It’s a good read, I gave it to my fiancée and she said that it gave her a better understanding of the cd community, and all the insanity that goes along with it. There is quit a few good books out there on men in dresses.
Laura, I'm so happy for yo and hope it works out. Keep us informed and give her a hug from us also. Love Keli
Good for you Laura. You were open and honest, and hopefully those are qualities that she will admire and respect in you, regardless of how things go from here.
Congratulations on being honest. It's an important thing for your relationship.Originally Posted by Laura_Stephens
I had that fear at first too. We've been together for over 10 years now. Our 10th wedding anniversary will later this year.
As others have said, it's about setting boundaries that are acceptable to both of you.
For example, your partner may have a problem with you going out close to home and you may have to go further afield to start with. Once you and your partner get to the point where you realise that most other people cannot recognise you as the same person between male and female, your partner may then be comfortable with you going to your local shopping centre.
Communication (not sex) is the key to a good relationship, and communication about your CDing is no exception.
Just don't push it on you to fast and go with it she may never dislike it.
Angie
Congrats
[SIZE="3"]Congratulations, Laura.
Gennee[/SIZE]
I'm getting better with age. I may have started late, but better late than never!
"Don't let anyone define who you are".
Trust me you did the right thing, even if you ended up losing her.
Alot of us have made that mistake not telling ours early, learn from us
Lets just hypothetically say you never said a word, do you want to live with her lieing, hiding stuff etc.... its not how you really want to start a trusting relationship.Could not agree more. I wish I had the salads at the time to fess up to my future wife, rather than wait for a decade.
Well done, and good luck. You're off to a great start.
Tash
Congrats glad you found someone who is accepting of you.
New facebook page feel free to add me as a friend. http://www.facebook.com/?ref=tn_tnmn...00003349942987
You lucky dog. You have found someone. Relationships take a lot of work and you have started on the right foot. Way to go. Talk, talk, talk. That leads to understanding.
keep on gurlin everyone. paula may
Congrats to you!!!
I have been with my current GF for two months now, told her before we started dating. She is great with it. She enjoys me in full femme and always enjoys our quiet evenings with just us girls.
As many have said, pay attention to her and take things at an easy pace.
Peace
Awwwww good for you
Der Transsexuellaußenseiter
The lovers have flown...
[SIZE="3"]VENI VIDI VICI[/SIZE]
Congratulations Laura, you're a lucky girl. Just make sure you talk, talk, and talk some more. Go slow (at a pace she's comfortable with) so your feminine side doesn't overwhelm her. Good luck with your relationship.
Thanks to everyone that posted. I will heed everyone's advice.
Has she got any sisters?
Is find a woman accepting of CD so difficult? Oh, my.........I didn't know.
Best of luck to you, enjoy your relationship!!!
Sharon, hon........we are out there......you just gotta keep looking...
Laura, when GGs 'change' their minds about the CDing, it is usually because there has been very poor communication and a lack of honesty, both on the CDer's part for not communicating well about his feelings involved with the CDing, and on the GG's part for not letting him know if something concerns her. Oftentimes she believes she will seem unsupportive if she speaks about her concerns, especially if he takes them as personal criticism or he believes she is being overly insecure. Also, sometimes there is 'catch-up' time involved, where the CDer charges ahead in a pink fog blissfully unaware he is leaving his SO behind, where she feels neglected and scared because she doesn't understand how freeing it is for the CDer to finally have someone in his life who supports him. If there is poor communication, she tries to fill in the blanks herself and more often than not she begins to feel inadequate in the relationship believing she is not enough for her partner.
All of the above can be avoided with lots of honest, open, and patient talks about feelings and concerns. However it is my observation that some of these talks can be difficult for the CD who might feel threatened because he does not have all the answers, as he himself is forging ahead in new territory.
Communication is so important yet it is a delicate balance to maintain.
Last edited by ReineD; 03-09-2009 at 03:29 AM.
Reine
Laura, So happy for you!
Kelsy
Born female intended
" Don't die with your music still in you!"
It happens - GGs can be accepting one moment and totally ballistic the next
about crossdressing - I'v been experiencing that for 38 years (have been
married to same spouse for 38 years) - I'm afraid that this happens a lot
JoAnne Wheeler
"I'm an all American Bluegrass Girl and Proud As I Can Be"
Good for you!I hope it continues to be great for the both of you. If your new lady does get scared or has any concerns and needs support in the future, point her to the F.A.B. section in this forum. We'd be glad to have another accepting GG in our midst.
Akira
And some of us do not JoAnne, ............ sure occasionally some of us have bad days with cding but so do you crossdressers ................. Please stop going on and on and on about how unaccepting your wife can be ....... she also supports you as another post of yours said today ...... I am and I know others are getting fed up of it ...... Go and sort things out with your wife is the best advice I can give you just as many others have
I allow myself to set healthy boundaries ..... to say no to what does not align with my values, to say yes to what does.
Boundaries assist me to remain healthy, honest and living a life that is true to me
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