How did your wife find out

[Deborah Jane]

I told my first wife when the urge to dress came back....We divorced, but not over crossdressing, that was just the final straw where she was concerned after her having issues with my other big hobby [Buying and modifying cars...Lots of em ]

My second wife [to be] [Sheila] already knew about my crossdressing as we met on here

[kristinacd1]

I got careless and my wife saw an e-mail i left on AOl about a wedding dress i bought...i had to confess cause she thought i was buying a wedding dress for someone else...and i was leaving her....it all worked out fine in the end..

[Michelle_NY]

She found some of my clothes up in my attic. Instead of lieing, I just came clean

[Sarah...]

I told her about a year in about my preferred dressing style. At 18 years in I told her about being TS. She said I should've told her earlier because I could've been living as a woman by now - much better than after a further 18 years of testosterone she said.

Sarah...

[RylieCD]

The trouble with allowing the "genie " out of the bottle is that you cannot get the damn thing back in, no matter what devastation it causes.My fear is if I do tell my wife and am rejected where do I go from there.Just left with a destroyed relationship.She has already endured heartache with bereavements how can I be so wicked to add to that burden.No, I will stay hidden as long as I can.
Penny

I always feared that too, but realized too late that our SO's love us just as much as we love them and want to help and understand. Yes I was affraid, I tried testing the waters here and there to see where she would stand on the subject, but that isnt a gauge, especiall whe you are hiding it from her. So I stayed hidden, the cd'ing started back up just after our wedding (few months, i think, and I think that was everthing else settling down) anyway few months later I screwed up and she caught me, She found the wig I just ordered (yea the pink fog had set in). and from then on other things. At the time we were on different shifts and had to discuss/explain things over the phone. But the worst part was that she had ti find things out on her own and speculate things, I should have taken control of the situation long before thing got out of control.

[sometimes_miss]

I accidently left a slip lying around after I got changed. She found it. I never found out exactly where I left it, somewhere in the bedroom where I changed my clothes. I had a choice; she brought it out, and asked 'whose is this?'. At that moment I had to decide to lie and let her think I was fooling around, or tell her the truth. Yes, the truth will set you free, and three years later, I was free of my wife, house, my belongings, my bank accounts, every cent I had, and my credit rating.

[JulieC]

Yes, the truth will set you free, and three years later, I was free of my wife, house, my belongings, my bank accounts, every cent I had, and my credit rating.

Which is why it is SOOOO much better to tell before saying "I do".

[AmandaM]

Told mine about three months dating. She said, "So?". A month later we were engaged. That was 20 years ago.

[Jennifer_Cross]

Mine made me do it... I probably gave something away!

Jen

[Jilmac]

My wife didn't have to "find out" because I told her that I enjoyed wearing womens clothes while I was dating her. She married me anyway and never approved of my dressing so I stayed in the closet until her death. I also told my new SO shortly after we met. She's fine with my dressing as long as I don't do it in her presence. If you want my I would say to tell your wife and hope she takes it well.

[sometimes_miss]

Which is why it is SOOOO much better to tell before saying "I do".

Hey, she didn't tell me she was a passive aggressive witch before we got married either

[allisonrn06]

I told her before we were married, let her see me in heels and pantyhose - she told me at that time I could keep my fem stuff, but didn't want to see me in it. Didn't bring the subject up again with her until several years later, and found out that somewhere along the line, she had become accepting of it. We had a great relationship before this, it's gotten even better now that she's accepted me this way!!

[JulieC]

Hey, she didn't tell me she was a passive aggressive witch before we got married either

So long as she only slow cooks you in the witch's cauldron

[LA CINDY LOVE]

When I got with my wife I was not a crossdresser that came 4yrs latter, she felt something was up because I was always clean shave and keep asking my why do I keep shaving and I would go out on the weekend and come home late........I was going to the clubs

Then one day I was getting dress to go out she had just left when she show up before I could leave, and she wanted to know what was going on and was i going out to see some girl she ask are you having a affair I said no then she said what is it then you are up to something I can feel it, and that is when I told her I like to wear women clothing.

She was glad I was not having a affair.

LA CINDY LOVE

[Desiree2bababe]

Told her before we married.

[Tammy298]

Christy, Thank you for this thread!

Since following this thread (and a lot of others here!) I've begun to talk more openly to my wife about my CDing. My CDing is really limited to underdressing and nighttime attire (nightgowns & lingerie) due to children.
Anyway, A big concern that I've had for quite a while, is whether her acceptance and claims of liking what I wear to bed were genuine, or just appeasing me. Listening to everyone here has really gotten us talking about my dressing, and her beginning to take a more active role. Last night was wonderful and since earlier in the day, she's been talking about tonight!
I know CDing isn't just about bedtime, but I'm working toward expanding our discussions to wigs, forms, more clothes and even a little makeup!
Also, I think she might have visited this forum several months ago since I make no attempt to hide it and often leave an interesting thread open. I'm hoping to get her to join, if she hasn't already. I'm sure she'd enjoy all the folks here and gain a better understanding of the importance of CDing to some many!

[Joanne_2003]

I told mine after we had been living together for several years. We started talking about getting married and I told her I had something she needed to know. She was queit for a couple of weks and started asking me questions about it and after that she thought about it some more (couple of weeks) and said that she thought she could deal with it that was 6 years ago.

XOXO
Joanne

[JenniferInUtah]

In the first two weeks Of dating her I had to tell her. I felt the relationship going serious and i wanted no lies between us. She was very accepting and accomodating. I love her for that.

[AshleyCDFL]

Not sure really how it came up anymore. We've always been very open in our relationship of what we want, telling fantasies to each other, etc. We hadn't been dating very long and were hanging out in my dorm room at college, she pretty much lived with me already so she had quite a bit stuff there. The question came up of whether I would wear women's panties and I jumped at the chance! Shortly after I confessed that I would like to dress up fully as a women and she was very accepting, that was about 9 years ago now... and we still have a wonderful relationship. I truly believe that most disagreements come out of a lack of communication or miscommunication, so I believe it's important to be truthful and approach everything with an open mind.

[dennisGTS]

I told her about my panty fetish a little over a year after we got married. After that, she walked in on me a couple times wearing lingerie - that was before she accepted it. At the time I just had womens lingerie and didn't really have any desire to fully dress. Initially, she was extremely disturbed by this; it took many years and marriage counseling to help us out. Now, with a little compromise, I get to crossdress around her once a week.

[KandisTX]

Told my current wife three days after we met.
Told wife #3, well, didn't have to she met me while Kandis was out and about.
Wife #2 was told before she moved from Anniston AL to Montgomery AL to live with me.
Wife #1 was not told for a year after we got married... 2 years later she hands me divorce papers on our sons 3rd birthday with the phrase "Husband does things unbecoming of a husband and a father".


Kandis

[Samantha Kelsey]

I told her! But not soon enough. I thought it had all gone away but it came back a couple of years after we married. Just wearing panties/knickers then. So I told her. Ballistic doesn't adequately describe the result. I don't know a word that's a million times stronger but thats what would describe her reaction. Funnily enough that wasn't the sole cause of our demise but part we did. Thank God! Peace at last and everlasting sunshine.

[crossdrezzer1]

I told my wife before we got married during a car ride,,,, just blurted it out before we got married,,, 15 years later we talked about it and she said maybe if I told her before she fell in love with me she might of not of been with me,, she has played with me in the past and supports me,, but still doesnt like it,,some times she knows I need it and does unmentional stuff and sometimes tells me to keep it to my self,,its her rules but lets me be alone when I want it,,she knows its a part of me and supports that,,and helps me when she can but tells me she married a man and likes that...happily married 15 years and growing stronger,.,,

[Sarah C.]

I told my wife after we'd been dating for only 1 month. I knew then that I really like her, and if we were to have a future, she needed to know this about me. I figured, if she's ok with it, then great, let's keep going. But if she wasn't, then neither of us has invested too much in the relationship at that point. Good news, she was ok with it! Not 100%, and still isn't (6 years later), but I'd say she's about 90% ok with it. We had many discussions which really helped her to understand. She was very appreciative that I told before we got married.

[DeniseNJ]

I guess mine found out way back when. We were dating and halloween came around and she suggested I be a girl for the fun of it.. Little did she know I was all giglly inside having her suggest it. Maybe she thought I would just put on a dress and army boots and a wig. Oh no , I had been dressing and in the closet for years, I went out and bought my first new pair of Heels Purple
3" pumps, a nice dress shaved my legs, polished my nails, {I was having to much fun and couldn't get feminine fast enough.} Her girlfriend was like I think he's enjoying this seeing how serious I took itand I was That was the first day Denise went out and had lots of compleiments . first few years were fun. now it's not