So last night was a big night and I like when people share positive stories on here so this is one of my own.
As I've mentioned on here before, I'm a professional stand up comedian. I've long been hesitant to be open about my crossdressing because I've been afraid of how it would hurt my career. My big fears were that it would become what I was "known" as and that could cost me work because I'd get pigeonholed, and also that people would think I was ripping off Eddie Izzard.
But I've been feeling more and more over the past year or so that this is something I want to be open about because the secret aspect of it had really started to wear on me. I'd already opened up about it to some friends, and my dad. Most of my friends have been girls but I decided a few months ago to confide in my male writing partner (we write scripts together and bounce ideas for our comedy acts off each other) who is also one of my closest friends in comedy. He was really accepting of it, and encouraged me to be more open to the idea of talking about it in my comedy act. He went through a bout with cancer a few years ago and he said even though it was hard, he was glad he brought it onstage because it was something he had a unique perspective on, and that it set him apart from other comics.
So for the past few months I've slowly started dipping my foot in the water with talking about crossdressing onstage. I tried it once in June on a night when the crowd was really unresponsive, and I was so nervous to do it that it didn't go over well at all and I don't think anyone really knew what I was talking about, but the set went so badly that I got scared to try it again. I have occasionally done some shows in a kilt since then and thats been about as far as I'd taken it.
Well last night, I don't know why but I just got a fire in my belly. Maybe it's from posting on this board the last week or so again and feeling much more gung ho about not treating this like it's anything to be ashamed of. I wore my kilt last night and I went onstage and did a quick joke about it that I do whenever I wear it. Then I did a joke about my recent weight loss and my previous horrible eating habits. Then I took a deep breath, and confidently said in addition to kilts, I also wore skirts, an then into a microphone, into a room full of both strangers and fellow comics, many of whom I've known for years, I said "In fact, I do what they call crossdressing."
I then proceeded to do about five minutes of material I've been kicking around about being a crossdresser, using the term "crossdressing" or "crossdresser" several times in regards to myself. Some of the jokes got really good laughs, others not so much, but guess what? That's what happens when I'm working on any new material. The crowd responded to it exactly the same way they do when I'm talking about being a movie nerd or fast food. It was amazing. They didn't throw things at me or heckle me or anything different.
After my set, I was out in the bar, and another comic came up who I've known my entire career, and he very warmly said "That's maybe the most confident I've ever seen you onstage. That was great." Now, he had really no idea that I was a crossdresser, but it didn't seem to phase him at all, in fact he encouraged me to keep working on that material because it clearly was a strong unique subject for me.
A couple of female comics who are kind of new to the scene talked to me afterwards and wanted to know more about it, and one even asked me my skirt size because she goes thrift store shopping all the time and she wants to find me some amazing skirt somewhere.
Now, to be fair, this open mic is in a very laid back, open minded bar that gets a pretty hip young crowd, usually of at least somewhat mixed sexual orientation. It's in a fairly artsy part of town where there are a lot of gay bars, so this is not the same reaction I'll get if I did the same material in one of the places I perform at on the road, the little blue collar bars that I make a good chunk of my money in these days.
But this open mic is sort of my place to go be me, and i've often said that on that stage there was where I felt like I could say anything, experiment with stuff and have no worries, that it was the most comfortable place for me to perform out of all the places I do shows. Well last night I proved it. and it feels great.