This is very long so if you want the Cliff's notes just read the paragraph before the first list and below
Around New Years someone posted a thread about what their resolutions might be if they had them. I posted my small list and my number one was "1. Tell my wife about my CD'ing". I joked saying "The first thing is going to be tough, but I figure I have all year to do it" because I honestly thought it wasn't going to happen.
Well I did...She was coming back home from a weeks trip back to our hometown. I made a plan that morning that I was going to tell her. I had to pick her up from the airport on my lunch break so I knew that I wouldn't have enough time to proplerly tell her so I made myself tell her I had something very important to tell her after work. That turned out to be kind of a bad idea because she was very anxious and worried all afternoon but I knew I had to do it otherwise I would just get home from work and chicken out like I've done a million times in the past 4 years.
Well I got home and she immediately wanted to talk. I told her she should eat dinner before we started because she hadn't eaten all day and I didn't want her to feint lol. She said she was too anxious and couldn't. The mood was so intense I can't even explain it. I started to spew out the line I had been practicing all day and immediately stopped, I went and got some water and tried once more. Finally the words came out "I have been cross dressing since I was 15". She couldn't come back with a reply so I went on: "Hun, I've never told ANYONE this before. I've been painfully keeping this secret to myself for almost a decade", instantly all my anxiety and nausea went away, I felt like a ten thousand pound weight had just been lifted off of my chest.
At this point she was still just sitting there. I broke the ice and told her that she can ask me ANYTHING she wanted. I had come prepared with a sheet of answers to questions I felt she was going to ask me. Thank you so much for your thread about talking to your SO's Marla, it was my saving grace. The first thing my wife asked me was "So are you, uh, you know, um..." I said "Gay or Bi? No..." We both chuckled that she couldn't spit that out Then she went down the list:
- Why do you like it?
- Is this some kind of kinky sex fetish?
- Do you want to become a woman?
- Have you been wearing my clothes?
- Aren’t you satisfied with me?
- When do you do it? How often?
- etc
Al-throughout the Q & A she was physically trembling and I could tell her mind was running . I can't imagine the stress she was under, but I think she handled it very well. She was never accusing or angry even though she asked me thing like was I borrowing her clothing or using her makeup. At this point I think she just wanted to learn about me.
After she was done asking her questions I went down the rest of my list of questions I thought she was going to ask. She told me that she might be a little distant for a few days while she deals with the news....BUT, after that I think she relaxed a little bit and got a little curious:
- Do you have a girls name? - Yeah, Kristin, last name Skye, spelled S-k- (she finished the last name for me :P)
- Do you have a wig? - Yep.
- What color is it? - Explained the color the best I could.
- Can you do makeup? - Yeah, but I'm not very good.
- Do you stuff a bra? - Kind of...I use things call breast forms that are way better.
- Do you own any clothes? - Yeah, I used to have a large collection that I purged, but I'm starting a new collection. (told her a few things that I have so far)
- How do you hide "him" - (We'll keep the answer to this one off the record :P)
- What are you favorite clothes? - Short skirts, jeans, tight tops, heels and boots.
Those kinds of questions continued and each question had a side conversation. For example when she heard my reply to her question about makeup she said "well maybe someday I can help you and do it" or when I told her about one of the shirts I had "well if we're going to do this then one of the best parts will be me getting to borrow some of your stuff!".
She also brought up going out as two girls. I told her this is one of my biggest fantasies and explained some of the stories that you all have posted about going out with your SO's. She was open to the idea, but when she had the bad thought of me getting hit on while we were out she panicked I little bit. I told her that it is something I would like to do some day but we should take it slow for now.
Anyway it was a long conversation, but I'm so glad that I finally had the courage to have it. Neither of us really got any sleep that night. She was still very nervous, startled, excited, and scared about the whole thing and I was so happy to have shared my cross dressing with someone that I didn't want to sleep.
Anyway, I just want to thank everyone on the boards. Without you wonderful people that day really may have never come.
OH! And I forgot to mention the best part. He last question was "So when do I get to meet her?". She said whenever I was comfortable to let her know so she can prepare herself ^_^