I have hidden my crossdressing from my wife for over thirty years. My most enjoyable times were when I was out of town on my sales job. I could dress completely comfortable, without the worry of my spouse finding out. Now that I am retired, it is more difficult to find a few hours that I can make a complete transformation to my feminine self. This of course happens only when my wife is out of the house for a predetermined period of time.
Marcie R.
I hid for 8 years then my wife found some pictures on the computer. She decided to wait for me to be ready to tell her. I had no idea she knew untilmy daughter told me. She had known for about a year when I found out she knew.
My wife knows I crossdress, but she never wants to know about it, so I still have to sneak it in when I can. She says I can't bring it into the house*, but she also says I can't take it out of the house, either...kinda limits the options, don't it?
She actually does know some of the times I dress at home, or must suspect at least, but we're definitely in a "don't ask or tell" situation. Never when the kids are around, or her. Like you, I only dress when I know how long she's going to be out. On most Fridays, I drop her off at her knitting club and pick her up for lunch, so that's the time I know with most certainty she won't pop in on me while I'm in a skirt.
The other day she spotted mascara residue under my eyes, so she was quick to point out that I was breaking the "I never want to know" and "don't bring it into the house" rules.
*what she really means is "don't bring it around my kids or me", but this is how she words it.
-Dianna
You can take the girl out of the dress, but you'll never take the dress out of the girl!
Confessions of a Christian Crossdresser - http://DiannaFaithRose.wordpress.com
My late wife knew before we married because I told her. We had just shy of 50 years of a very happy marriage. And Stepahnie was there for all but 5 years. I put Stephanie away, and thought it was going to be forever, but my dear wife begged me to bring her out again! And I did! We had a lot of fun together!!
Stephanie
Lady on the outside, but man underneath!
My wife found out about my cross dressing on our first date. She asked a question that she didn't quite realize what she was asking. I really emotionally hurt someone in the past by NOT being honest with them and I DO NOT wish to repeat that hurt again. So, I took a deep breath and answered her question with a truthful answer she definitely wasn't expecting. But, the truthfulness ended up impressing her more than the negative of being a Cross Dresser.
She was ambivilent to my cross dressing and while we were married I kept it private from her, BUT I did not HIDE it, she knew. Anyway, as time progressed I discovered I was much more than a cross dresser. I am a transgender and for me it is about being a female, not just dressing like one. So, she has chosen not to walk the path I now take, which I understand and respect. And, due to our honesty and respect with each other a sad event has not become an anger or bitter event.
[SIZE="3"]Terri[/SIZE]
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[SIZE="2"]"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, The master calls a butterfly!"[/SIZE]
The true measure of a person is in the questions they ask, not the answers they give.
My first time dressed was for my wife, who immediately insisted she buy me a dress!!!
Is that heaven, or what???
tina
Thirty years? Are you waiting for just the right time?.gif "Big Roll Eyes")
You might need to tell her now if you ever want to dress up again because, you know, no more business trips.
I've been with my wife for 2 and a half years, 1 and a half of that as husband and wife. I've been hiding it from her successfully so far. I stopped for a good 6-8 months after we got married, trying to never do it again, but that didn't last...
She still has absolutely no clue, and I hope it always stays that way.
My wife has known for years and is supportive and very encouraging. Hiding it would have hurt her deeply.
I went over 24 years, before finally slipping up. she had been out of town for a few days and spread a lot of my items out in the house. I forgot to put a way a makeup brush set i had that I had been in a drawer. She found it, I confessed everything, and we are in a don't ask don't tell kind of mode. We are together but she does not like it. I always thought it would go away when we got married, but around age 50 it kicked into high gear. I have traveled a lot and loved those trips, took lots of pictures that keep me sane.
tiffany
I never tried to hide it. I'm actually new to the CD game, only discovering I enjoyed it less than a year ago. My wife has been there every step of the way and she's encouraged me and even bought me a few items. In fact she pretty much wants to have a say in anything I pick out because she's less than impressed with my fashion sense. Hey, I'm still a guy underneath and always will be. Sports, technology are my things. this is new to me. So no, I've never hidden it my wife. We love each other deeply and we're both enjoying this new part of our relationship.
Including the time we were dating... 33 years.. She found out 3 years ago.. Was a lot more fune before she found out.. Ohh well.. That's life. My life. Lives.
...that just because your wife has never confronted you with evidence of your crossdressing that you have been able to successfully hide this part of yourself from her for all these years?Originally Posted by Marcie R.
If you truly believe that, then I have a bridge spanning some choice swamp land in Florida that I would be delighted to sell you, with financing conveniently provided by a Nigerian banker.
We all slip up at some point and inadvertently leave some evidence of our CDing that others will accidentally stumble upon, and that isn't even taking into account that infamous "knows all, sees all" women's intuition our wives or SO's possess.
Dream on, Marcie, dream on...
We have been married 46 years and I started dressing when I was 10 or 12. Got caught once. I left a pair of shaper panties in the bedroom. The standard questions, girlfriend? gay? etc. I confessed immediately we discussed it for a couple of days and went into the "don't ask don't tell" mode. I am certain she knows I still dress when the opportunity avails itself but she never says anything. However, she has an amazing capability to forget things that she finds unpleasant. So I really don't know.
Hugs, Kath
Living the lie is far better than the ultimate consequences.
Yes, I regret not being 100% honest but the alternative is disaster.
Yes, I have had some near misses but I have survived. However these near misses will be supporting evidence if the lie is ever uncovered.
Pragmatism 1, Truth 0, with time to play.
Up to yesterday (and subject probably of another post) I had it totally(ish) hidden for about 23 years. There has been the odd mistake and odd slip up causing some suspicion but after I did dress for her 23 years ago and was so badly rejected I have hidden things away, not by choice I wish I could have shared it but I was made to feel I couldn't.
Gillian.
Never argue with an idiot, they drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
It was about 15 years for me, one day she found something I neglected to hide and we had "the talk". From advice I recieved HERE on CD.com and other CDs I was honest, open, and let her ask the questions, and didnt push the issue on her. We are still together and closer than ever. She knows I go to monthly tri-ess meetings and dress there. She has become more tollerant and accepting the last few years and I recently showed her my wardrobe to which she was surprised but not offended by.
Erika Leigh
Hi there
My wife found out about 3 months ago when i told her, she does not want to know anything about it.
Been hiding it from her since we go married about 12 years ago.
Should of keep my mouth shut.but life still goes on.
bye
Geneva
http://www.flickr.com/photos/44936757@N07/
[SIZE=4]I waited until about our third real date, over 26 years ago. Since then things have been great.[/SIZE]
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
I am a licensed Cosmetologist (hair stylist, not cosmonaut), work as a hair and wig stylist, makeup artist and permanent makeup artist, dressed as you see in my avatar and albums.
My web site www.apparentlyfemale.com
I have over 2,500 pictures on my Flicker site located at http://www.flickr.com/photos/9315394@N02/
Unfortunately or fortunately...depending on your character and perspective, it was never really an issue. I realized after a few months of marriage that she was more concerned about hiding her marital affairs than anything having to do with me. I was simply the money.
She was a terrible liar and even worse at concealing her extra-marital affairs, so it was not even a concern for me. I knew I would not be around very long. I still kept it concealed. (never give bullets to a person with a gun that has the capability of shooting you, lol). I still have for 15 years that she has been my "ex", to protect my daughter from any potential consequences.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
I thought I was good at hiding it, but after a party about six or seven months ago, I found out that two of my step children and my wife have known for all of our married life (12 years) and have not said anything. But as my wife and I were now moving away from them, my oldest step son got very verbal and angry with me and and hit me. stated I was a pervert and his mom should leave this sick a$$hole. I was very hurt and ran away for several hours. when i returned my wife said she still loved me and has known for a long time, just a don't ask me then she won't have to hear about it. It's been a while now since this event and my SO is alot more tolorant of Laura and lets her have time, mind you she still dosen't want to see her, she just knows I need time to be her.
Marcie, Like you, I kept my CD securely hidden from my wife for over 30 years. But watch out! Getting "discovered" as I did can be quite a shock for both you and your wife. (In my case it was very sudden. She popped up when and where not expected, opened a door, and there I stood, partially dressed.)
Fortunately for both of us my wife, once getting past the inevitable "conversation", was able to progress from unaccepting denial, thru several levels of acknowledgement and permission, until she became supportive and participating. Note that that process took years to evolve, so if you go there, you will need a large measure of patience.
It turned out we would both have been a lot better off had I disclosed my CD years before.
You have to make your own choice, but my voice here joins that of several of our sisters who've already posted on this thread - - you really should consider coming out to your wife. For one thing, If you take the initiative, you are at least able to plan and steer the "conversation", whilst if you get discovered, it all comes down suddenly and uncontrollably - - you have no option but to dodge the wreckage, clean up the mess, and rebuild.
Regardness, hun, I hope you are able to enjoy your CD for many years to come.
Hugs, Daisy
well, this thread is a short course on the rrisks of hiding yourself from an SO. Sometimes the outing, past the initial shock, turns out OK - some sort of detente. Others are catastrophic. most of the time years of marriage have gone by before the event.
Like a few of the above, I was open with both my first and present SO about my dressing - although the circumstances of introduction were slightly different. I can confidently say that if you are open early in a relationship about yourself, and that relationship has any strength & depth, it can survive and even deepend. If you wait - all hell can break loose!
30 years for me until she passed. Only found this site after she died.
Comfortable in my own skin.
"Never underestimate the power of human stupidity, and never cease to be amazed by it!" Lazarus Long
lets see, including our very first meeting outside of her work; NEVER
Drumming, My other hobby
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