Assuming your wife knows about your CDing how often to you talk about it?
Are your conversations casual, like it’s a not a big deal and may come up in general conversation? Or is it a serious WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT “IT” NOW, that requires deep breaths, lots of hugs, and maybe a few tears too?
And if you talk about it, does she bring it up or do you (or maybe both)?
To tie this all in to the title of my post: is your communication, or lack of same, your fault or hers?
I know, communication is a two way street: it takes two to talk. I’ll use my relationship as an example of what I mean. My wife knows about my CDing, but we don’t talk about it. I’ve been thinking about this as a “don’t ask, don’t tell” kind of relationship, but I’ve been wondering lately if I’ve misread the whole thing. I wonder if we don’t talk about it not because she is uncomfortable with the conversation, but because I am.
Does the habit of hiding our little hobby/secret become so ingrained in our minds and souls that we find it impossible to talk about it to people we are otherwise close to? I feel far freer sharing my feeling on this subject (albeit anonymously) on this forum, with a group of total strangers (but otherwise wonderful people !) than I do in my own home with the mother of my children. I would really love to be able to casually comment on women’s clothing or makeup and have a casual conversation with her about it.
On the other hand, I know she does not like my crossdressing. But sometimes I think she wants to say something to me, comment or even joke or tease me, but is afraid I’m going to be offended or uncomfortable.
The sad thing is that I probably would be uncomfortable. Its been a secret for so long it’s almost physically impossible to open my mouth and talk about it (but typing is easy… ). I’ve never been a very talkative person to start with, so this becomes doubly difficult.
So, the verdict here (IMO) is that I think it’s my fault that we don’t talk about my crossdressing; and that it is something I really need to work on before it becomes a bigger problem.
Anyway, that's my thought for the week – thanks for listening! I’m curious how the rest of you communicate, or not, with your SOs. It would also be great to hear from some SOs and get their perspective too.