made a decision!!

[Melissa73]

Hey all, i made a decision... i reecently have started seeing my ex again! Andf until last night i continued to dress. But they came over tues night, and i was so paranoid that they were gonna find my clothes. And ive thought it over for 2 days, and have come to a conclusion.....i dont need to dress! now, mind you i know, not to purge or throw them out! but ive packed them away into the back of my closet.idk if ill get the "urge" again but ive pourged many times only to have to replace everything again. but as for now, my dressing is history!!! and it feels good!


thank u all
Michelle

[Loni]

confused here seeing your ex?....but
"they are coming over"?
why would you be ashamed of anybody seeing your closet?
are they going through your things?
if you chose to not dress for a time it is good, if you chose to dress also good.
but anybody should accept you as you are, not for you to change to fit there wants?

keep us in mind, and take care.

Loni

[Debb]

Hey Michelle, more power to ya!

Looks like you know by now to keep your stuff, at least the stuff you like . Something else you might consider ... take advantage of the lull in your "need" to dress, and complete some other projects; like maybe having a discussion with your ex about gender, or other things that maybe you couldn't bring yourself to talk about before.

The freedom from dressing, however long it lasts or doesn't last, allows you to feel more secure in talking about stuff like gender, since it no longer feels as "close" as it did when you were dressing.

Just throwing this out there ... good luck to you!

[joann426]

i couldnt say it better loni i woodnt change either for them

[kimdl93]

The urge to dress, as so many can testify, tends to come and go. I think you made a good choice in packing your things, but keeping them. Is the ex aware of your CDing? If not, are you considering telling her at some point?

[ReineD]

Kim took the words out of my mouth.

[JulieC]

Is the ex aware of your CDing? If not, are you considering telling her at some point?

STRONG agreement with Kim. NOW is an opportunity to discuss crossdressing with your ex. Do not make the mistake of assuming your crossdressing is gone forever, and just because you get back with your ex it'll never come back again. Right NOW is the opportunity to lay the ground work for acceptance. If it isn't there, no harm, no foul, go your separate ways.

[DonnaT]

And ive thought it over for 2 days, and have come to a conclusion.....i dont need to dress!

ive pourged many times only to have to replace everything again.

Those two highlighted phrases contradict each other, don't you think?

If you are hiding (and you are) your dressing to see if you can get back with your ex, then what you are actually doing is lying to your ex. That is, if she knew before and disapproved, or if she's never known.

Odds are, as you've experienced, you will need to dress again (which is why it's good you didn't purge again), and if you are back with your ex, this could cause some issues.

If you are trying to rebuild the relationship, please do so honestly.

[Angiemead12]

it will come back around faster than you know it!

[suchacutie]

So what is the opposite of pink fog???

Whatever it is, it will disperse just as the pink fog does. Then we are left with....reality.

My suggestion is to go slowly, in whatever direction. Take little steps, and check to make sure you are always on solid ground.

I do hope you and your ex can find happiness in whatever way you may define it.

hugs,
tina

[Karenmarie]

Please tell her as soon as possible. Please don't make the same mistake
that I made (and alot of other people) and thought the cross dressing life
would leave me alone once I was married. It does not work!!! One night,
not long from now, you will see a woman on TV or in a store wearing an
outfit that you will look at and think "wonder how I would look in that"
or "I sure wish I could wear that outfit" and the next thing you know you
are sneaking around behind your wife's back and trying to find time to
dress.

TELL HER NOW, DON'T PUT IT OFF.

If she runs, maybe that will be for the best. If she doesn't run, WOW
you and her may have one heck of a life ahead of you.

I REALLY HOPE THAT IT WORKS OUT FOR YOU.

Hugs
Karen

[Miranda09]

Good for you Michelle. As everyone knows, for some, these urges come and go, and sometimes don't come back. Whatever happens down the road, I hope you'll take your experiences dressing as enlightening, fulfilling and most of all, FUN!! As others have advised, when you feel the time is right, come clean with your ex and discuss this aspect of your life. She may also realize that she has now discovered a hidden side of your personality...a side she may want (or not) to explore more. In any case, good luck and be happy.

[sterling12]

You "don't need to dress" right now! But, you know your going to want to dress some time, probably sooner than later.

I take it that The Cause of your Break-Up is related to your Transgendered Issues, and I also take it that you believe you want her back, and your afraid she will find out.

Unless she is very dull, she subconsciously knows you are still dressing. Now, The Question becomes, "Will she tolerate it in a Marriage?"

If I were you, I would take this Opportunity to quietly and thoughtfully explain your situation. If she can't deal with your femme-self, if you all can't come up with some sort of compromise, you need to reevaluate if you really want to be in This Predicament. Deep inside your head, you know it will return. If no sort of Workable Solution, do you really want to re-do all of The Crap, torment, and angst?

Peace and Love, Joanie

[busker]

I'm going to go against the general tenor of the replies here and hope that you are able to quit--that is if you are still reading posts here. It is possible to give up anything if you work at it--ask all the AA folks (one day at a time does work)--I imagine dressing has the same call as booze.
If the relationship means enough to you, you have to make the decision on what you are willing to give to make it work.
That said, if you are fooling yourself about not dressing it will only came back in spades, and so you will need to be honest with your ex about your future needs and plans.
Best wishes to you

[Melissa73]

i thank everyone for their responses.,.. and it is gonna be hard! ive been dressing since i was 13 yrs old. However i sat here this morning thinkiing about why i do it. out of habit? or do i enjoy it? And to be honest im tired of dressing up and having to look over my shoulder. and i my ex wouldnt accept it! but as for my dressing, i never wanted to be female. i just like the clothes. i was always a male. but then again thats why i also saved the clothes cuz i know i have purged before and gone back! well ty all...

[Nicole Erin]

Many TG think they are done tranny'ing every time some woman steps into their lives.

It will go away for a while, then you be dressing, then "almost getting caught" and well, just read the headlines on this subforum, Except the "how did you get your female name" and "songs about CD" threads that come up every other day, the rest are about getting caught, trying to come out, etc...

Yep, lay groundwork for acceptance now.

[Rianna Humble]

So what is the opposite of pink fog???

Blue funk?

[Farrah]

I hope you succeed!! However, If you you're reading this you probably want. Embrace who you are and love it!

[NicoleScott]

You don't have to desire to be a female to be a hooked-for-life crossdresser. Lots of us dress for pleasure, because we just like the clothes, or the feeling, or whatever, without desiring to be female.
Many of us have purged, sometimes many times (3 for me). And it always comes back. I'm not trying to discourage, but to get you to view the situation clearly.
If you don't want to have that talk with her about your crossdressing, you don't have to, at least for now. But it may be a mistake to make a get-back-together-commitment until you resolve the issue of whether you can really be an ex-crossdresser.
Put your stuff in storage and give it some time.