Sarah it is more semantics than anything. Every relationship grows and matures and when it is good they grow in a similar path but with the ability to allow the other to have room of their own. Here is the rub as I see it. Too many people buy into the happily ever after fairytale. That one person comes in a sweeps you off your feet and for the rest of your life it stays that way. Now I have to admit I know a few couples where that has been true but as one other people in one of those couples once said "You only see the social _____. You don't see him at home".

So is we take what you say literally, yes you are the same man who married. You are the same physical being. But are you the same all over? Few of us stay the same weight. We all show physical signs of aging. Tat is the main reason nature gave us failing eyesight....so we could not see that.

Now on the mental part, in a way we are still the same but we do expand, we learn and we grow. In the beginning we all thing it will be a certain way. Then something happens that causes us to take a side path. So many here believe that they can change themselves (and we won't even get into the ones who think they can change someone else) so that they can conform to how their partner wants them. This is where the honesty BEFORE marriage part would be important (and some of us got lucky that even though we waited our partners were open enough to see what we were). There is so much about ourselves that is hard wired so to speak. We may be able to bypass this for awhile but it takes power away from other things and soon, we get angry or disillusioned or become a shadow of our former self. Good partners see this and allow the other to grow. Most partners stick adamantly with the ideal they THOUGHT they were getting.

So, no, you are not the same man you were when you married. Who would want to be? You have life experiences and memories now. There is lure in the whole new world before you idea we had at 20 but there is also a comfort in the knowledge we have now. I never expected my wife to stay the same as when we met. I enjoyed watching her grow and mature (and she was even older than I was) and see how things panned out. It is part of the journey. It is part that too many miss because they don't want to see change. Yet it is inevitable.

So instead of saying the "man" you were how about knowing you are still the same loving, caring, funny, good person you always were no matter the trappings?