I see the phrase "I'm still the man she married." on a regular basis here. Okay, I'm admitting that I'm not the brightest candle on the birthday cake today. I've used it myself and just recently realized that since I didn't tell her before we were married that I am a crossdresser I'm NOT the man she agreed to marry.
The man she married is not me. I've entered the relationship slowly over the years, moving him over by bits and pieces while claiming to be him. He didn't use makeup, wear women's clothing, buy things from the Breastform Store and shop the makeup counter. If he did these things, she didn't know about it and they weren't part of who she fell in love with. It was part of me, but well hidden and was not part of the dynamic leading up to marriage. Sometimes we use a phrase and don't really take the time to really think about what we are saying. This is one that we need to be careful with if we are coming out to someone after they made a committment to us.
Fortunately my bride has accepted this new fellow; man, crossdress version 1.3 into her life. There must be some other things that mean more to her than what I've done to the man she married. I may not be bright, but I'm lucky I guess.