Went out Saturday night as Shayna

[Shayna2008]

I decided Saturday afternoon to "go for it" and go out as Shayna for the evening. So after a last-minute trip to pickup some essentials from WalMart I returned home to start my transformation. Women's pants, a purple and black top, boots with a little heel on them, some basic make-up (still learning it), and a purse. I went to a great bar in north Austin called 'Bout Time. It's known for being one of the most TG friendly bars here. I was accepted, made some friends and found a place I can go to as Shayna regularly! I really liked their policy for CD's who are out for the first time - free drinks the first visit! It was a fun experience and felt good to take this step with my dressing: seriously going out as Shayna. I meet several other CD's there and I spent the night talking and getting to know them all better. Was a slightly older crowd compared to the downtown areas, but it was nice; the men acted like gentlemen and they treated me like a lady!

Going out en-femme is a very useful experience as it lets you discover your comfort zone. It also makes you aware of considerations that may not be on top of the usual list of worries associated with going out en-femme. For me this was being hit-on! This guy (around my age) approached me as I was leaving and he was trying to hook-up with me bigtime. I stood my ground and continually said I wasn't interested and that I was leaving. Eventually he got the point and left me alone, but I need a lot of work when it comes to the "street-smarts" aspect of this. He was really pushy about hooking up and hugged me and even kissed me at one point (lips). Looking back on this I shouldn't have let that happen as it sent a signal that was opposite of what I was telling him , but at the same time I was worried about him getting mad and possibly violent so I tried to be nice (we were in the parking lot - more isolated area).

Does anyone here have knowledge they could share for good proper ways to handle this situation?

In summary, it was a great night out and I meet some great people! The bar was great as were the people in it. It was a night full of experiences and lessons about being TG. I got an idea where I stand as well as things I need to prepare for in the future.

[Sophie86]

That's great, Shayna! Congrats on having the courage to get out of the house!

I haven't been in that position before. I think the way that GGs handle it is to keep moving towards the car, and give only short answers designed to end the conversation.

[KarenS]

Congratulation s on finding a comfortable place.

I don't have a lot of experience with the problem of being hit on because I have not been out that much - though I have been hit on.

I feel I have had a success if I can get out to be with some friends once a month.

My wife knows I'm a CD and is somewhat tolerant but doesn't like to see me fully dressed and doesn't like me leaving the house.

I'm happy for you that you had a good time. Be careful sweetie.

[Roberta Marie]

Congratulations, Shayna. Before you know it, you'll be out and about, going everywhere and doing anything.

I have been in that position, being hit on, only once. It caught me totally off guard, and he was persistant. But I was more persisitant, and as Sophie suggested, used short sentneces to let him know in no uncertain terms that I am not interested in men and that I was not interested in him.

I think having a man follow me to the parking lot would really make me nervous, and I probably would have had my cell phlone out and be dialing 911. And, just like I told my daughters, and even most of my son's girlfriends, as a last resort, do not hesitate to swiftly apply your knee to his groin. If all other communication fails, that usually sends a pretty clear and loud message.

But, prevention is always best. Don't get into places that are isolated, travel in numbers if possible, don't lead a guy on, and stay aware of your surroundings.

Grace,
Bobbi

[StaceyJane]

Glad you had a great time

[blue_girl_74]

Good for you I cant wait to go out as Jen, still early days though. I wish every town had a "Bout Time"

[Roxanne_Alternate]

It takes quite some courage to go out en femme in public, but it sounds you had a great time, despite that one thing that happened!

I never got it on in femme mode, so I don't know how to give proper advice. But if it's possible, travel with someone else. The more people, the better.

[Shayna2008]

Thanks for the replies everyone. Going out is definitely fun to do! It' a definitely a change mentally learning to live in the female gender role in a social situation. You definitely get more attention as a female. Also, thanks everyone for your advice regarding dealing with unwanted advances.

[tgcowgirl]

Yeah, gotta love "Bout Time"...went there for the first time, OMG, toooo many years ago ...still is the same friendly accepting little bar it's always been.

[Ria]

I can't believe there are places that offer free drinks to the 1st timers, and you met several other CDrs there!? Wow, I didn't know there were places that had such a high CD count... I always considered us a minority in any social environment, ie bars, clubs, or whatever. That's awesome and I'm glad you had such a great time.

Yeah be careful Shayna, a parking lot hug and kiss... I'm not sure how I would react to that senerio, I would not like that. Good for you- keeping your head on, you never know?

[Chickhe]

Well, after my halloween experience, I didn't specifically get hit on, but my wife and I were approached and chatted up by guys... it is 'facinating'. As a guy, you get pushed, kicked, spit on (not really)....well you know what I mean, but as a woman people are so nice... If I was to be propositioned, I think the correct response (after choking on my own vomit) is one in a deep male voice, like 'Hey man, you seem like a cool dude otherwise, but I'm not gay and you don't want to meet my wife when she is really ticked off'... ...seriously, I think you crossed the line by letting the guy touch you and should have cut him loose before that point.

[TommyII]

What an experience! I will have to do some resarch about CD friendly places as Texas is too long a drive for me. It would make life so much easier to have a CD frendly place within an evening drive distance. I think the closest to me would be Phoenix or Vegas. I'm sure Vegas must have some places and I could get a hotel walking/cab distance. New thoughts, thanks.

[kynw08]

Shayna, mind if I contact you via PM for some more info. I'm thinking my finally getting out may require a trip to Austin(which goes against every aggie bone in my body), and I'd like to get some info about going and doing around town!

[tgcowgirl]

kynm08,
Yeah, gotta put up with the teasips down here...but Austin is a really laid back accepting kinda town...Gig'em
( Dang, I can't wait till the 25th...gonna beat the %$&@ outta Texas !!!)