Last edited by 7sisters; 11-26-2010 at 11:48 AM.
You should be packing. That way you won't feel so afraid of people like that. The worst part is that he probably meant no harm, but never the less it did bother you. Glad is was a non-event in the end.
Michelle
I do not know Joann.....Eventhough I know that being safe is always the best policy....I can tell you that not every guy who follows you around a mall, or looks at you and drools....means to do you harm... might as well get use to it ... as i have said before you are really really cute and things like this are gonna happen to you ...
Alot of guys are just plain Idiots when it comes to how to approach a woman....espically a really attractive woman...Oh and even it he did read you. You might be surprised as to how many "straight guys" that are really attracted to transwomen but they just want to keep it on the low.. Which only makes them act totally totally stupid ... Not sure what this guys deal was... He might have been a Joann07 fan....that or he wanted to eat your liver...
How to read a guys mind while price checking shoes at the same time is an old GG ninga trick thats is tough to master....
You have alot to learn in the womans world..
Joann
Caution and "feets do your stuff" are your best options. You did a good job of trying to avoid the creep. If you can stay away, even if you have to shop all night, that is better than a confrontation. When I learned about concealed carry years ago it was a very sobering lesson the responsibilities you take on. You should not go there lightly and do your homework. Massod Ayoob has written several very good small books to let you know your rights. They are probably not what you think. Pull your gun and now the "mugger" is also fearing for his life and can shoot you and be on the side of the law. If you carry, learn to use it and PRACTICE. A better option is for you to get into your car. A car is a formidable weapon. I love studying all the optimum "Navy Seal" responses you can see on TV but unless you are one of those, simply haul ass. Pepper spray is better used on your food. IMHO
Scary Joann but you did everything right girl! The BEST way to stay safe is to see trouble coming and avoid it. We all have to be aware of what is going on around us and to trust our instincts.
Debby
In Canada, stun guns are prohibitted weapons available only to police.
http://www.cbc.ca/canada/story/2009/...taser-faq.html
In Canada, pepper spray for use on humans is a prohibitted weapon, available only to the police or by very restricted permit.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pepper_spray
Concealed weapon permits are very difficult to obtain in Canada.
http://canadacarry.com/
I do not have any hard figures as to how difficult it is to get. About a month ago, I read a newspaper article here about a person who did have a permit; if I recall (and I might not), the article indicated that that person was one of only 3 private citizens in Canada who was authorized to carry a concealed weapon. I have no way of validating that figure.
Thanks! It's a situation we have to think about when we're out and about so always keep a watchful eye.
Wow girl. I'm glad you handled yourself very well and got out of that situation.
Thank you for sharing your experience.
Yeah. Who knows what this guy's intention was, but I found it very odd that he would follow me around like that. When I'm in drab, I see a lot of very attractive GGs and if I saw one who was drop dead gorgeous, I would never follow her around like how this guy did with me.
Thanks for sharing your experience. For a kid at nine years old, you did the right thing and seeked shelter. Too many times we hear about kids being abducted and killed and thank goodness you go away. Talk about the crazy people that GGs have to watch out for, well it's tough being a kid these days because of pedofiles and child molesters. What a crazy world it is today.
Thanks for the tip. It's easy to say I should've done this or or, but unfortunately, when you're in a suvival situation there's no time to think about things like like to get a picture of him or a license plate as you're just trying to get away. However, now that I have experienced this I know I can handle myself, think fast, and turn the tables if another situation like this arises.
I've heard about these protection/watching shoplifters, but in my case, why would he be watching me while I was eating at the food court? I find that very odd as there is no way I could steal food from a food vendor.
Thanks girl. I appreciate your input.
Whatever his motives were, I don't think I wanted to find out anyway. It just felt very strange and so I trusted my gut instincts.
Yeah. I don't think I would've turned around and confronted this guy. It was definitely obvious he followed me, standing around watching, to make sure that I wouldn't leave JCPenny to go back into the inner mall. Besides, if he wanted to say something why didn't he come up and talk to me while I was eating at the food court? I was there for a while and so he had enough time to come and greet me. Just the way he was standing there, watching, made me uncomfortable and so I had to get out as soon as possible. Unfortunately, there was no security guard around, but if I need to find some help I would definitely have seeked assistance from an employee.
As for the deserted parking gargage, this happened during the daytime and so it's not like I was alone as there were other people coming in and out of the mall.
Hey sis! Thanks for your input.
This is definitely a learning experience for me, but now I know what it feels like to be a GG and be the object of attention.
If I ever sense something like this is happening again, I know I'll be more calmer and in control and hopefully, I can turn the table and be the aggressor with a concealed weapon to back me up.
Thanks for your input sis.
That's true too, but I have proper training about how to keep your gun from being used against you through my concealed weapons class.
I have various self defense techniques that I can do, but I've never take a class room type of self-defense training. I'll have to look into those types of training classes.
Believe me, if I have to shoot someone who's endangering my life or someone else's I will shoot to kill because of a bad thing that happened to my brother several years ago. He was on a family vacation in Virginia and was unpacking is vehicle when a guy, who was high on crack, approached him. The man didn't say anything to my brother and just pulled out a gun, shot him multiple times, and left him for dead in the hotel parking lot. He then stole my brother's SUV, with his 5 year old daughter still strapped to the child seat, and took the police on a short chase, but then ended up crashing. His daughter was ok, but my brother was taken to the hospital and treated for multiple gunshot wounds. They didn't think he was going to survive, but miraculously the bullets didn't hit any major organs and he survived. Unfortunately, they left 2 bullets in his body because it would do more harm to remove them so they just left them there. Now based on what happened to my brother, I have no compasion for armed robbers and predators who prey on innocent women and children so if I have to pull the trigger to kill I will not hesitate.
Hi Kim. I appreciate your thoughts. Maybe you're right that he was fascinated by me and trying to get closer look, but I find it odd that he was watching me while I was eating at the food court and while I was at JCPenny. I was at the food court for a while and so he could've come up and said hello at that time, but instead he was just sitting there with his cell phone to his ear. I don't know if he was actually talking to someone, but then when I crossed paths with him at JCPenny that's when I remembered seeing him at the food court. Whenever I subtely glanced in his direction, I didn't see him trying to take a photo of me, but based on what I observed it was definitely obvious he followed me as he standing around watching to make sure I wouldn't leave JCPenny to go back into the inner mall. At that point, I knew it was time for me to go and so I did what I did to get out.
Dunno sis! I don't think I would do that if I saw another crossdresser if I was in drab. I'd let her go about her business and so she could enjoy being out in femme.
Thanks for your comments. They're all very informative.
Next time, I'll have to think about that. But on the other hand, if the guy could see that I have contacted security he could make up any BS and deny it and so security would have to let him go. Well, I was not going to take that chance and so my instincts just told me to get out as soon as possible.
It was definitely a scary experience and I hope that never happens to any of my fellow sisters.
Fortunately, nothing violent has ever happened to me, but when my brother was gunned down and left for dead by guy high on crack, I told myself that if I have to shoot, I will shoot.
Great point sis!
It brings out a new perspective on things doesn't it?
Right on sis! Yeah maybe he had good intentions, but it definitely caused a blip in my radar which bothered me. It's the way he looked, the way he was following me, and how he was watching me which brought up the red flag. I just trusted my gut instincts and left without escalating things.
Hey sis! It's easy to say "what if" or I should've done this or should've done that after the fact, but if you were in my shoes experiencing it from my point of view it's a whole different perspective. Maybe you're right and he was just some guy who meant no harm, but just doesn't know how to approach a woman.
Well this time, it just didn't seem right and so I trusted my instincts and made the wisest and safest decision.
Thank you Michele. I'm glad I got out of that situation because it just felt very uncomfortable.
As for carrying a concealed weapon, yes, I am well aware of the responsiblities. Now here in Florida, a new law was just enacted called "Stand your ground" which basically says: " A person who is not engaged in an unlawful activity, and who is attacked in any other place where he or she has a right to be has no duty to retreat and has the right to stand his or her ground and meet force with force, including deadly force if he or she reasonably believes it is necessary to do so to prevent death or great bodily harm to himself or herself or another or to prevent the commission of a forcible felony."
In other words, you had to retreat from the danger and use deadly force as a last resort. Now you don't have to retreat and can stand your ground with force if you feel your life or someone else's is in danger.
With that said, I know I can use my concealed when I am in grave danger, but I will only use responsibly and as a last resort if all my other options have been expended.
Thank you Debby. I think my gut instinct to get away was the right decision based on what I was sensing that day.
Last edited by joann07; 11-26-2010 at 07:36 PM.
JoAnn
I love to see a beautiful woman in a nice dress, but then again, I also want to wear that dress.
First I am happy you are safe. I have to play the Devil's Advocate here with my 2 cents, what I am thinking here is this was some type of security personnel. Even though he had blue jeans on it is not uncommon for security to go undercover in a store, if they are intent on catching someone (I have run into plain clothes security in these type of places before). You probably became suspicious to him, first because you were crossdressed he may have thought/ stereotyped you were CD in order to hide yourself to commit a crime and second because you didn't acknowledge him when he said "excuse me." Do you get tense/ over anxious any when you are out in public in the mall (just from being crossdressed?) and were you that day? Someone acting nervous (body language, facial expression, isolating oneself) are always going to be behaviors that law enforcement personnel are trained to look for). I know from my own experiences and attitude I have learned this.
Maybe go back to the store in drab and check this guy out?
This happened to me. I can stand at the shampoo counter for one full hour reading labels before I decide what to buy. I noticed a man staring at me. I asked one of the sales men who he was, and they said he was security. So I went up to him and told him I was not robbing, but I have specific needs and thus need to read.
Many supermarkets hire 'spys' to check out what profile of customers are checking what kinds of brands. These men and women are marketing specialists. Highly skilled professionals who will look at you and see how and what attracts you to a brand. If you are in the USA, they take retail extremely seriously. SO most big store have this thing going on. The end result is they can make right stock decisions.
I know of nobody other than the police that can carry a concealed firearm in Canada. I'm not saying it's not true, just that I never heard of it. One can obtain a permit for a handgun, but the restrictions are so stringent that it's hardly worth the trouble unless you are a collector or competitive shooter. I have long guns and I had many hoops to go through to get it. I have even more hoops to go through to keep them. I hunt, but am wondering if it's worth the aggravation.
Ginger
Dittos to what Doc, and Eluuzion said, and a light ditto, to what TexKim said! People are super complex. We all grt weird ideas, but almost always weigh them. Once, i followed a gorgeous waitress, who was walking to her job. I was on my bicycle. I ended up going to the place, and writing her offers for friendship letters. She never replied, must have thought i was a nut. Lucky i wasn't arrested, but that was 1978. Now, as a dresser, i can understand what she felt like.
Thanks! Whether or not this guy was just a random guy or a plain clothes security guard I'm just glad I got out. Whenever something doesn't feel right to me, I do what I feel is right and I think I made the right decision at that time.
I've heard about these protection/watching plain clothed security guys, but as I mentioned, I noticed him while I was eating at the food court well before I went over to JCPenny. As soon as I got to the mall, I walked straight to the food court, but not before making a quick trip to the ladies room, and then ordered my food. The quesiton is, why would he be watching me while I was eating at the food court? There's no way I could steal food from a food vendor because I pay and then get served. JCPenny was the first store I stopped in after I ate and so then I have an encounter with him at that store. When he said "excuse me" I wasn't sure who we was talking to, initially, as I was minding my own business. But then when I stopped to browse one of the clothing racks, I realized he was talking to me because I could see him in my peripheral vision looking at me with this strange look. Based on that, it's obvious he followed me from the food court. And then I noticed him still watching me, while talking or acting like he's talking on his cell phone, after I moved into a different section. Based on his actions, I found it very suspicious and that's when the red flag went up.
I've been out dressed well over a 100 times now and I am to the point where I am completely comfortable going out in public and interacting ordinary every people. I don't think about where I want to go because things just come natural to me. With that said, I presented myself appropriately as a woman and wore a baby blue cami and denim mini skirt which blended me in just like any other young looking GG who was at the mall that day. I wasn't feeling nervous whatsoever and was just going about my business, but at the same time, always being observant. I don't think I was acting suspicious in any way because that day wasn't any different than any other day I've been out while running errands or shopping. I've been to this mall before and I have never seen this guy before so it is my assumption that he was not a plain clothed security guard.
If this was some random guy who just wanted to compliment me, why didn't he say anything while I was at the food court? I was there for a while so he could've just walked up to me and said hello, but he didn't. He was just sitting there across the way, talking or acting like he was talking on his cell phone. Also, the walk from the food court to JCPenny was a short distance which took maybe 3 to 5 minutes and so he could've come up to me while I was walking over there. Who knows what his intentions were, good or bad, but I didn't want to find out because I was already feeling uncomfortable so I trusted my gut instincts.
Hugs!
Last edited by joann07; 11-27-2010 at 10:52 AM.
JoAnn
I love to see a beautiful woman in a nice dress, but then again, I also want to wear that dress.
Wow be careful I am glad you are ok. See in Alaska I usually carry concealed or when dressed it's at least in the truck or house depending on where I am. I have more guns then I have shoes and I have alot of shoes lol. If u can't carry then yes get something pepper spray, ninja stars, or something!
Last edited by Zoie; 11-27-2010 at 01:44 AM. Reason: Ohhhh I am so hating iPhone spell correction at the moment!
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
“Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces.
Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.”
-Ashley Smith
Glad you are safe. My only comment, other than repeating what everyone else said about safety first, is that he has good taste in women!
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]All good things come to "she" who waits!
Previously, I had nothing to add, except that I reckon it could have been worse! But, something did occur to me. We both have been hanging out over at CitySide, and there are a LOT of males around that place who have taken notice of us. Could this Guy have possibly been A Customer on Karaoke Night, recognized you, and got intrigued? Remember, a lot of them think that all of us are Gay, and maybe he was "interested."
But if that's The Case, it was still bad form! He would have made a lot more "headway," if he recognized you from CS and said so. But, it's a learning experience with "Creepy Guys," and in a couple of weeks we will be dealing with A Bunch of them at The Party over at Loren's. You now know how to "maneuver" out of The Way. Loren's Place is a lot tighter than The Mall, but I still think it's useful practice.
Peace and Love, Joanie
Last edited by sterling12; 11-27-2010 at 02:45 AM.
Thanks for clarifying all that. I apologize if I sounded like I was assuming stuff (evaluating from own experiences and stories I hear from others in similar situations). Hopefully that is one of those situations that won't happen again and that you don't let it discourage you from returning to the Mall. I know I will be doing the same soon myself, so support you in your cause. Whoever it was (security or someone else) was crossing the line encroaching into your personal space like that. Security is not supposed to bully people like that as they are not supposed to upset the "customer" but sometimes they do - and they can get removed from their post acting like that - not only acting like that but leaving their post as well.
Last edited by Aleca; 11-27-2010 at 10:20 AM. Reason: needed to add one more line to clarify a point
Back when I used to go out a lot, I had a couple experiences of being followed when driving in my car on the way to a local club for a night out. The first time, I pulled into the parking lot of a police station, which worked well, my follower left, the other time I continued to the club and got inside before my pursuer did, and told the owner (who was always working the door) what was going on, so he refused to let the guy in. It's quite nerve-wracking when stuff like that happens. Another time in that club, I had a guy who was pestering me the whole time that I was there, wanted my phone number, wanted to go out with me, etc., even after telling him no with no uncertainty, and again, the club owner came to my rescue, told him to leave me alone or he'd be thrown out, so that made the guy leave me alone, but he tried to follow me out of the club when I left and the owner stopped him until I could drive away.
It's quite unnerving when that stuff happens.
Carol
My name is Carol.
Only had one experience of what I thought was undue attention while I was out. I always think safety first, and on this occasion I had to take a roundabout route to get back to my car, but could see clearly around me if the person got to close. I must admit I was a little worried. As some others have said crowds or busy places are reasonably safe, and any of you who are new to going out, a busy place is actually less scary than it may sound.
Being in the UK we can't wander around armed to the teeth, even pepper spray is illegal here. A bunch of keys makes a good weapon though, but not as good as an M16 with an underslung grenade launcher.
"She snuck up on me from behind. You'd think women would make more noise with those big high heels, but they don't, they've got this stealth thing going..."
Wow! You must have quite an arsenal to fully arm a battalion. LOL!
Yeah if I can't carry my concealed with me, I can use my car keys as a short jabbing weapon. All I need to do hold the key chain loop in my fist and have the keys sticking out between my fingers sort of like brass knuckless. A quick jab in the face and part of the body would do some serious damage.
Thanks sis!
Definitely safety first when going out especially by yourself.
Thanks girlfriend.
You could be right Joanie. Maybe he is one who goes to City Side on a regular basis and he just happened to recognize me and just wanted to say something. If I go to City Side again, and I recognize him, then I'll assume that's where he and was trying to make contact. We'll see the next time I go.
No problem sis. It's all good.
I'll be back at this mall again and let's just hope that that was an isolated occurence, but I will never let down my guard an always remain vigilant and attentive of the people around me.
Wow girlfriend! What an experience for you. I'm glad you had people around to protect you.
Thank you for sharing.
I very much agree with you sis.
An M16 would be nice to have slung on my shoulder next to my purse. LOL!
JoAnn
I love to see a beautiful woman in a nice dress, but then again, I also want to wear that dress.
Though I love the idea of going out and doing activities en femme, the thought of someone stalking or even just trying to hit on my scares me to death. If I go out dressed up, I really don't want a single soul talking to me. Maybe if I was able to replicate a female voice effectively, but I'm way too weirded out by what a reaction of someone trying to talk to me would be when they hear my man-voice.