Because this has come up in another thread and I don't want to derail it, I would like to discuss a point that has come up here often and I have commented on, but maybe it deserves its own separate discussion.
It is very common that once someone is informed about what we do, that one of the most common pieces of advice is for them to come here and read. So is this a good idea?
My opinion is it is not. At least not immediately. The reason I say this is because once you tell someone (whether a spouse or family member) then their mind starts reeling. They try to pull in any experience they have in life with a CD (which sometimes is little to none) or they then are influenced by movie and TV memories (and we know those don't always do us any favors). So it would seem logical to send them here where they can get the truth.
But what is the truth? As we have our many discussions here, we find that we cover quite a broad spectrum of topics. Sometimes it is hard to even think that any two of us can be the same. So if someone is pointed here to learn about us, what do they get? Recent threads talk about:
And I am not trying to pick on any particular threads, but look at it from this viewpoint. You have just found out your partner/friend/family member is CD or TG. You are pointed here to learn the truth. As you start reading these threads, what are you going to do? You are going to apply each and every thought to the person who sent you here. Is it going to be correct? Maybe all of it could apply. Most likely small amounts. The point is that you now have lost control over what this person is learning.
- Facial Surgery
- Fantasies
- Sex
- Do you want to go fulltime?
- One thing you would like to do en femme
- All I think about is dressing
So what do I think is the right thing to do? Yes, this forum is a fantastic tool. But I would first sit down with the person and explain where I felt I am. I would give them some time to let their thoughts settle and ask me questions. Then I would visit this forum with them and explain to them the vast variances within our wonderful group. That we each have distinct feelings and we are all here to explore and learn about them. Walk them through some of the threads and let it start some discussion so they can learn that everything doesn't apply to you but hopefully some of those topics will start a discussion on how you do feel. The main thing is to set up the person so their mind doesn't get a chance to take off in the wrong direction and then you can't easily reel their thoughts back in.