Since about puberty, I have struggled with this. It is a tough deal, because in telling someone, as was the case with my ex wife, for a gg, it can really shatter their universe. My current wife knows, but found out after seeing pics in my computer. It was a hard time, but looking back, maybe for the best. She has a level of acceptance, and I take what I can get in that regard. I try not to push it on her too much.
Your question, it seems to me, speaks to the secrecy that most of us shroud ourselves in. The urge to crossdress for me, is the same as the urge to eat to a compulsive eater. I hide it out of defense, and in doing so, yes, I run the risk of shutting out a loved one. I do not mean to, and sometimes do not want to, however, the desire is a very hard thing to live with. I refer to it quite often, as "the curse". (as from the first time I tried on a pair of lacey and frilly panties, I was cursed with the desire to dress in them) At this point in my life, I do not do anything that my wife is not aware of, which is about the safest way to maintain the trust I have had to build since the discovery. The feelings are there. No doubt, and I have not actually dressed in more than six months, due to the birth of our son. Its been tough to not ditch, and go somewhere, dress, and do what I do, but I am presently in a hold pattern.
I feel like anything from her, is better than nothing from her.
