My spouse is M2F. For me, the cross-dressing is a very different situation. So I don't really have much to contribute, except to sometimes respond to comments about how many bras I own or something similarly general to women.
I have posted in the M2F forum and just end up frustrated, angry, and with wrong information. It feels that there are several persons who do most of the posting and everything is their way and anything non-conforming to their transition experience is attacked as posing, not really trans, or otherwise just being told it can't be that way. I have learned over the past 2 years there is a lot of misinformation, which for a spouse makes it even harder to be supportive through my husband's transitioning. And those same persons make me feel as if I am less of a person because in a relationship I believe I should have the right to express my needs too and that both parties have to compromise if their goal is to keep their relationship. There have been some very thoughtful responses, but the majority have pretty much told me that I am not truly supportive, that everything must be about the transitioning spouse and nothing can be about me, and it doesn't matter anyway because if my spouse really was M2F, she would be interested in men and be pursuing SRS as her ultimate goal. For my own mental health and for the betterment of my relationship, it is best for me not to try to understand by posting questions in that forum.
So, I stick with the FAB section where we don't have to agree in order to be supportive of one another and we accept that while we have commonality it doesn't require conformity.
