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Thread: Wife Took Me Shopping for the First Time Today

  1. #1
    Member steph1964's Avatar
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    Wife Took Me Shopping for the First Time Today

    I recently talked to my wife about my cross dressing. I told her 17 years ago but we pretended it didn't exist and I secretly dressed. Since I brought it up she has been very loving but understandably has been having a difficult time with it. She joined the FAB forum (angies) and has been reading several posts.

    Last night she said that we should go clothes shopping and today she took me to the Dress Barn. I have been shopping with her, for her, in the past but this was the first time to shop for me. She helped me pick out several outfits, which she tried on in her size (neither of us is ready for me to try on clothes in the store). She then selected the items we liked in my size. She guessed on my size as neither of us knew for sure.

    I got two tops, two pairs of capri pants, and a pencil skirt. I have only purchased a couple of dresses in the past and would not have thought about buying the pants, but she suggested that they would look good. The outfits are really cute, they all fit perfectly and I really love them.

    Tonight she suggested that she do my make-up and now I am sitting in one of my outfits, make-up on, my favorite pair of heels, and drinking red wine, while she is on the computer next to me.

    This is the first time she has seen me dressed and I know that it is difficult for her, but she has made me feel very comfortable and I am really enjoying my night. She is a very special person and I really love her.

    I know that we still have a long way to go, and I have assured her that we will take this as slow as she wants to take it, but her support today has really made me feel special. This is the first time in over 40 years that I have been able to dress without the guilt and shame that usually accompanies my dressing. I don't know if she realizes how much she has helped me tonight, but because of her I feel a lot more comfortable accepting my cross dressing.

  2. #2
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    I'm glad you had a good day <3

  3. #3
    Silver Member darla_g's Avatar
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    sounds great, take it slow and don't scare her off

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    That is one heck of a Lady you have. Make sure she knows it..
    Quote Originally Posted by steph1964 View Post
    I recently talked to my wife about my cross dressing. I told her 17 years ago but we pretended it didn't exist and I secretly dressed. Since I brought it up she has been very loving but understandably has been having a difficult time with it. She joined the FAB forum (angies) and has been reading several posts.

    Last night she said that we should go clothes shopping and today she took me to the Dress Barn. I have been shopping with her, for her, in the past but this was the first time to shop for me. She helped me pick out several outfits, which she tried on in her size (neither of us is ready for me to try on clothes in the store). She then selected the items we liked in my size. She guessed on my size as neither of us knew for sure.

    I got two tops, two pairs of capri pants, and a pencil skirt. I have only purchased a couple of dresses in the past and would not have thought about buying the pants, but she suggested that they would look good. The outfits are really cute, they all fit perfectly and I really love them.

    Tonight she suggested that she do my make-up and now I am sitting in one of my outfits, make-up on, my favorite pair of heels, and drinking red wine, while she is on the computer next to me.

    This is the first time she has seen me dressed and I know that it is difficult for her, but she has made me feel very comfortable and I am really enjoying my night. She is a very special person and I really love her.

    I know that we still have a long way to go, and I have assured her that we will take this as slow as she wants to take it, but her support today has really made me feel special. This is the first time in over 40 years that I have been able to dress without the guilt and shame that usually accompanies my dressing. I don't know if she realizes how much she has helped me tonight, but because of her I feel a lot more comfortable accepting my cross dressing.

  5. #5
    Junior Member Coreyincs's Avatar
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    Congrats Steph! All we need now is a couple of pictures!!!!!

  6. #6
    Member rhonda's Avatar
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    Hi Steph good luck with you're special person and wish you both all the happiness inthe world xxx

  7. #7
    Gold Member Cynthia Anne's Avatar
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    Steph, I always thought this was a great place to be! Now you go and prove it! Your wife joining and excepting you the way she has proves it! Give her a great big hug for me! Thank you both for letting me go to bed with a happy story on my mind!
    If you don't like the way I'm livin', you just leave this long haired country girl alone:

  8. #8
    Junior Member mourningdove's Avatar
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    Yeah!! Way to go, Angies.

  9. #9
    Silver Member Maria 60's Avatar
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    That's great, it seems like your letting her set the pace witch is good, you don't want to push her and get her turned off. I told my wife 25years ago and still today as much as i want more and to do more i still want her to be part of it so i let her set the pace.

  10. #10
    Platinum Member Eryn's Avatar
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    Steph, you have a very special wife. Your situation is nearly identical to mine, even down to the number of years of marriage. You are wise to let her set the pace, but remember to keep the lines of communication open. Your wife will very likely have new questions and doubts and the faster these are addressed the better it will be for both of you. Do that, and you'll find your marriage to be stronger and better for both of you.
    Eryn
    "These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    "What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
    "She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
    "Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]

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    I'm glad everyone thinks I'm awesome. It hasn't been easy for either of us, and I know Steph appreciates everything. Thanks to everyone for your support. I do have many questions and fears but tonight wasn't so bad. The wine took the edge off, but didn't come in to the evening until after the dressing and makeup. Steph has been great too, since she has no control over her feelings and really wants to go with it, but has really allowed me to set the pace. I'm actually surprised that this happened tonight at my suggestion. But it's nice to have it out of the way. I feel like there are still alot of tears and will be in the future too, but my husband has really been the BEST and it only seems right that I would support him. I feel like we really haven't had any secrets other than this which was presented to me all those years ago. I did kind of like ignoring it but since he no longer can cope with the guilt its time for me to support him the best I can. It may not be quite enough for him and I may become even more accepting, but for now we are communicating well. Even though there are tears at times it doesn't necessarily mean its bad, just emotional.

  12. #12
    Platinum Member Eryn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by angies View Post
    Even though there are tears at times it doesn't necessarily mean its bad, just emotional.
    Very well said! This is a time of change for both of you, but you are both of a mindset to work your way through it. You've made a significant change in your life and some nervousness is expected of you both. Next time will be a little easier and pretty soon you'll be to the point where you both will be much more comfortable.
    Eryn
    "These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    "What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
    "She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
    "Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]

  13. #13
    FAB Moderator/ Eryn's GG Mimi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by angies View Post
    Even though there are tears at times it doesn't necessarily mean its bad, just emotional.
    This really struck a familiar note with me. I shed a few tears quietly in stores at first while Eryn tried on femme clothes, but now I'm much more comfortable with it. We know which clothing items are safe for her to show me outside of the dressing room, and which ones she needs to try on in private and let me know if they fit or not (she shops in male mode). Now that you have seen Steph dressed, everything will be much easier and you'll know what to expect. It sounds like you have a wonderful husband who really appreciates the time you are taking to understand her.

  14. #14
    I am who I am. retrofitme's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by angies View Post
    ...It may not be quite enough for him and I may become even more accepting, but for now we are communicating well.
    I think that communication is definitely key in this situation. My wife and I have spent many an hour conversing (and crying together) about this topic. And chances are, we'll have more bumps in the road someday! It's normal, and it is a good thing.

    Now, given how strong your marriage is, and that you each really seem to demonstrate true love to each other, I'm confident that being honest about CDing will actually end up making your marriage stronger. For years, there has been this sort of elephant in the room (a pink elephant, nontheless! ) that has been causing an element of guilt, shame, and fear in your otherwise strong marriage. Getting to the bottom of that is only going to make the good thing you two have going even better.
    Weight Loss Club - Start: 259lbs, Current: 218.0lbs, Goal: 205lbs
    Come join us at the weight loss club in: Body Issues Section (membership required I think)

  15. #15
    Hot Blooded Space People
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    You two love each other and you're willing to communicate. Maybe I'm a naive 23 year old, but I think that on its own means you two pretty much have what it takes! And Angie: I think seeing Steph dressed will go a long way, and I'm very moved by your willingness to suggest that you and Steph do something like this. Your a good partner and I do not doubt that Steph will show her undertanding and appreciation! You two have so much going for you!

  16. #16
    Silver Member linda allen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by angies View Post
    I'm glad everyone thinks I'm awesome. It hasn't been easy for either of us, and I know Steph appreciates everything. Thanks to everyone for your support. I do have many questions and fears but tonight wasn't so bad. The wine took the edge off, but didn't come in to the evening until after the dressing and makeup. Steph has been great too, since she has no control over her feelings and really wants to go with it, but has really allowed me to set the pace. I'm actually surprised that this happened tonight at my suggestion. But it's nice to have it out of the way. I feel like there are still alot of tears and will be in the future too, but my husband has really been the BEST and it only seems right that I would support him. I feel like we really haven't had any secrets other than this which was presented to me all those years ago. I did kind of like ignoring it but since he no longer can cope with the guilt its time for me to support him the best I can. It may not be quite enough for him and I may become even more accepting, but for now we are communicating well. Even though there are tears at times it doesn't necessarily mean its bad, just emotional.
    That's a great story and I wish the best for both of you.
    [SIGPIC]http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=82706&dateline=137762 0356[/SIGPIC]Linda

  17. #17
    Senior Member faltenrock's Avatar
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    sounds great, I think the best part is your wife being tolerant and sitting next to you while you write about the day. Say hi to your wife - she seems to be a great person.

  18. #18
    Aspiring Member NatalieBliss's Avatar
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    This is great Steph and Angies! As mentioned you guys have communication and that is paramount.

    Steph I would caution that having someone love all of you can be more intoxicating than red wine so always remember Angies sets the speed and never forget to tell her she is a beautiful amazing woman! At least that has worked for me...
    - Natalie


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  19. #19
    Member steph1964's Avatar
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    Thank you everyone for all the positive comments. After I told Angie about my cross dressing I was very nervous every time I brought it up, but she has made me feel a lot more comfortable. I have been trying to answer all of her questions, although some I don’t know the answer. I think that I was more nervous dressing for her than she was. I know that she would rather have done something else (anything else) on our day off together but she didn’t show it. I have read too many posts about the pink fog taking over so I am trying to be extra careful not to go too fast, and I would never have dreamed my day would have gone the way it did so soon after talking to Angie. I do have an awesome wife!

    Quote Originally Posted by Cynthia Anne View Post
    Steph, I always thought this was a great place to be! Now you go and prove it! Your wife joining and excepting you the way she has proves it! Give her a great big hug for me! Thank you both for letting me go to bed with a happy story on my mind!
    I gave her a big hug and knocked over her wine glass.

  20. #20
    Miss Aligned danielle40I's Avatar
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    Keep saying the montra Steph...baby steps...baby steps. Take it from someone who forgot the montra and lost the love of my life. Realise what pricless blessings you have and never loose sight of your empathy for how she feels. Peace to you both...Dani.

  21. #21
    Senior Member Barbra P's Avatar
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    If the Dress barn there is anything like the Dress Barn here you are more than welcome to try on clothes; the one here is very TG friendly. Of course when in boy-mode the dress or top won’t fit the same as when you are in girl-mode for a very obvious reason but you can tell if it is too small or it hangs on you like a tent – in which case boobs are probably only going to act as tent poles.

    Pants, capris, skirts, no problem, well unless you are planning to add a lot of padding below the waist.

    Sooner or later you’ll get around to the following items. Watch out in the shoe department, many women like to put men in really high heels just to show us what they have to go through and the pain they endure while wearing heels. I don’t think Angie is too likely to do that to you, but then I don’t know Angie.

    Shoes. Shoes you almost have to try on because even if you know your size most shoes in that size won’t actually fit and a surprising number of them you won’t be able to even get on your foot. I love the look of high heeled pumps, I love walking in high heels, but damn do they hurt after a short period of time. There are a number of charts on the Internet that will cross reference men’s-to-women’s shoe sizes so you will at least have some idea of the size you are looking for. I’d find an out of the way Payless store, they go up to about size 12. Don’t wear socks, go in flip-flops or athletic shoes without socks. You can wear a pair of knee-highs, or they have boxes of throw-away peds on the isles, grab a pair and go to the rear of the store so you can’t be seen through the front window, and maybe at the back of one of the men’s shoes isle. Angie can bring shoes to you and you can see if they fit. If you have large feet things get more difficult, as a number of threads on here point out.

    Makeup: Finding the right shade/tone of foundation is paramount to having good looking makeup. The best way is, unfortunately, trying some on. I went to Macy’s during a Clinique promotion and asked the Clinique girl for some help selecting a foundation. She selected three colors that she thought might work and put a small dab of each along my check/jaw. She then told me which one was the right one for me and wiped off the samples. The process took maybe two minutes and nobody paid any attention to what was going on. I think I need to go back and get some summer foundation as my skin has tanned now that the sun has reappeared here. Angie can help you with the rest, eye liner, mascara, eye shadow, blusher, and lipstick. Oh yeah, powder to set the foundation. Be careful if you decide you want to wear perfume, unless it is the same as Angie wears, you’d be surprised how hard some perfumes are to get off. If you smell like Angie you can just tell everyone that the two of you were very close last night and your not surprised that some of her perfume is still clinging to you.

    Wig: Wow what a difference a wig makes. Don’t go exotic with the color or the style. Stay with a color that will go with your skin tone and a style that looks like something that a GG in your age group would wear. You want something that is easy to keep up.

    Oh yeah, that Angie is a real keeper, don’t let her get away.
    Babs

  22. #22
    Member anonymousinmaryland's Avatar
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    Go slow, and have a great time. Get her to join this site; lots of reading material for both of you.

  23. #23
    Member steph1964's Avatar
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    Just an Update

    Today Angie went to visit relatives for the day and took our younger son with her. The older son was working so I had the house to myself. Before Angie left, she told me that she had left make-up and the correct brushes out for me to use. She also said that if Steph had time, could she water the citrus and empty the dishwasher.

    I spent the day dressed, doing housework. I wanted Angie to come home to a clean house to show my appreciation. I had a fun day, although watering the citrus was a bit scary. They are in the back yard, and we have a block wall, so the neighbors would have to look over the wall to see me. But we have new neighbors on the side with the citrus so I was a little afraid that they would hear me and look over the wall to say hi.

    Unfortunately I now have to get changed and go to work.

  24. #24
    Silver Member Marcia Blue's Avatar
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    [SIZE="3"] Steph,
    It is great to be able to dress, with out having to feel guilty. Your wife is a real sweatheart, do not let her forget it.
    [/SIZE]
    Last edited by Marcia Blue; 06-30-2011 at 09:28 PM.
    Marcia (LOVES) Blue

  25. #25
    Platinum Member Eryn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by steph1964 View Post
    I spent the day dressed, doing housework. I wanted Angie to come home to a clean house to show my appreciation.
    You are a marvelous person and I'll bet that Angie appreicates your gesture! Give her a hug too!

    Eryn
    Eryn
    "These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    "What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
    "She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
    "Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]

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