Wifey no likey

[Jamie Hugs]

When my wife first moved in with me we used to shop together she would buy me makeup and I would wear pantyhose all the time, then we got married had twins and 5 years went by. I just got hit with the pink fog and started to shop a little then, I mentioned to my wife that I wanted to wax my arms and she said your not going to start wearing heels and dresses again are you? WTF Now what?

[Kayla C]

Unfortunately it sounds like you've fallen into a don't ask don't tell arrangement. Do you think she believes that the need to crossdress went away? She may have decided it was just a phase.

You may need to sit down with her and explain that it is not. Now that you've been married 5 years and have kids, she may want a respectable (?) family and be fearful of the social stigma attached to a crossdressing husband. Not a good situation.

[Sandra]

Ok correct me if I'm wrong, has the dressing been on hold for 5 years? If so have you talked about it during the 5 years, or did you just decided to start all over again. Maybe having a chat with your wife will help, have you even asked her why she said what she did?

[Stephanie47]

Marriage is an ongoing series of negotiations and re-negotiations. There are new players in the mix- family and kids. I suggest sitting down and discussing the situation with your wife. That includes listening to her. She listening to you. You need to find out if she objects to cross dressing in totality or she just wants it to be kept private. Negotiate a reasonable set of boundaries to which both spouses should adhere to. Restricting your needs to zero activity will never work. Pushing her to accept full presentation as a woman will never work.

[sierra_g]

Maybe explain to her that it was just put on hold while you started your family and that you didn't expect it to come back quite yet, but you would like to confront it and would like her help. Be very clear, and I mean deathly clear, on how you expect it to fit into your lives as a parent and your children's lives. I am in a similar situation, my thread is called Wifes Ultimatum. Good luck! I hope she is accepting. Maybe she should get an account on here. It has really helped my wife.

[kimdl93]

Its time to start communicating. You let a lot of time go by and, not surprisingly, your wife grew accustomed to the situation. Now, you need reintroduce this part of yourself and help her put it in context of your lives together. She may, for example, be concerned about how your CDing will affect your ability or interest in being a parent and spouse. So, you need to start a conversation with her (not talk at her), beginning, perhaps, from the basic questions that ever SO is likely to ask.

[RADER]

Maybe you can set up a schedule for dressing, And for the children, stay mostly in the closet.
Do not jump into anything to fast. Do have some gentle talks and go slow.
She wants her man around the kids, and she is correct.
My wife lets me dress anytime I want; BUT she will not allow me to shave my chest hair. (Like a dense Forest)
She loves to run her fingers through it at night. Even with me in a baby doll Nightie, she can still feel her MAN.
Rader

[ReineD]

My best guess is that she has no clue what this is all about. Five years ago she may have seen it as something fun (although a little unconventional) to do with a brand new boyfriend. Does she understand anything about cross-gender expression and the need to do this?

Have you been CDing all along these last five years and have kept it from her?

You don't give a lot of details and so I don't know if you want to wax your arms: 1) because you want to go out and you feel they'll give you away, 2) you hate the look of body hair on yourself, or 3) having waxed arms makes you feel sexy.

What are your goals right now, what would be your ideal CDing life if you knew your wife was totally accepting?

You'll need to be prepared to discuss all of the above with your wife when you talk.

Have a look at this thread: http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...It-Now-I-Don-t