Using Violet's scenario, I would have never put myself in the position for "the man" to have access to me in a threatening manner. How many GG's do you know that purposely put themselves in harms way? My rule of thumb is that if my wife won't go there by herself, neither will I.
As to the passing issue... far too many focus on the physical and neglect the mental. For me, sure I always want to look my best when I am out (which is just about daily). Today I had an appointment with a new optometrist. I wore a pair of shorts (it was 110 here today) and a modest top. I was made up and my hair was nicely done. Did the receptionist who greeted me know I was TG? Most assuredly. I made the appointment in my legal name and filled out the paperwork with it as well. Did she treat me any differently than the other clients who were there? Not at all. I am confident in my identity. Mentally I believe in Holly. I embrace her as me. And my experience has been that the more comfortable (confident) I am with myself, the more comfortable those around me will be with me as well. Most bullies (society) prey on those who they see as weak and/or afraid. In most cases it is our own doubts and fears that empower others tintimidatete us. By turning off the TV, the bully wins. But my telling the bully if he doesn't understand the program I am watching, that I would be happy to sit and explain it to him and engage him in a conversation, we both have the potential of winning. It's the approach I take... and it's worked so far.
