As I'm reading responses I've started to notice a pattern here. Women are generally more accepting and compassionate of othersdifferences than men are. However, they also tend to be concerned with what other people think about them. It's the "you're behavior is embarrassing me" attitude. This understanding and compassion in women is great but tends to stop the moment it might embarrass them in front of others.
Women are always saying "stuff" about men and "pissing contest" or men getting their feathers ruffled or guys trying to be macho in front of other guys. But women have the same thing going on its just in a different form.
This "not in my back yard" type of attitude is the problem. And not one which is easily overcome. Personally my wife is accepting and encourages me to seek friends and go out dressed. But if I need her to be understanding about something all I do is relate it to something she already knows.
For instance, People who discriminate will continue to do so until such time that they themself are descrimnated against. Your woman is the same way. You just need to find the thing that relates to cdind and make that emotion more powerful than embarrassment.