Quote Originally Posted by linda allen View Post
Jessica, you posted your situation, presumably for others to comment on it, yet you seem to argue with every poster. Your seeming need to defend your unusual marriage arrangement tells me that you're not quite sure of it yourself.

Just do whatever you want, then tell us about it (or not) after it's done.
I'm not even sure, wait? What?

I'm not even arguing. I'm not really sure what your on about? The basic points of the thread are established, cheating is bad, on this there is a consensus. I've even agreed with this sentiment several times. I'm not being argumentative on any of the actual points of this thread.

I am however always willing to defend my relationship. You're original post was belittling and demeaning. As though to put your normal marriage above whatever class my marriage is. I let that slide and didn't point it out. I wasn't rude, nor was I argumentative to you or anyone else here. I value your input, what I am trying to say is that the perception that my marriage has failed or is in the state of failing, is false ... off topic and rude at this point.

I've brought up new points, and addressed the old including the topic of fidelity. Which I don't disagree with any of you on the topic of.

We've since moved on since I made the original post (you'll note I've made a few this morning) and new things have come to light. I work midnights and she's a gamer girl (meaning she's up late into the morning anyway) so we talk almost all night long. I shared that with all of you above ...

Which leads exactly back to our opinions. Infidelity is not cool. Ever. The question at this point I think is. Should I be willing to re-evaluate and modify the rules with changing circumstances or even just changing thoughts on the matter? How far does it go before it becomes infidelity regardless of rules and boundaries on the issue? Meaning, even with a green light from the SO and from the rules, where should the line be?

I'm of the opinion that the rules are fine as they are. She hasn't outright said (though, now thanks to your insight I will ask her this) but it seems like there's a bit of want to re-evaluate the rules. I don't think they need to be, and if she's not cheating on me and or trapping me why would she want the rules changed? Granted in 5 years they've led to absolutely nothing, so there is that. There may be room for some tweaking here and there, but outright changes or scraps, I don't think so.
We've established that I'm not asking if it's okay to cheat.
We've established that she doesn't view this as cheating as she interprets the rules.
We've established given all of the above I'm still pretty intent on not going.
We've established I'm not willing to break the rules (ie: cheat) ever

So I'm asking, politely, that we move on I'd love to hear your opinion on this. As I said above, I think everything is fine with the rules and they don't permit this. Which is fine with me. I like that. I'm comfortable there, and where are.