Last night, for the first time in my life, I left my house dressed en femme.
I had made an appointment with a local TG friendly shop for a wig fitting and make-up consultation.
My wife does most of my shopping and happened upon this place a couple of years ago. Over time she has become friendly with a SA who has a background in wig making and professional cosmetology. He has been gradually expanding their shop and inventory to offer TG related goods and services. While I never specifically asked, I presume that he, himself, is not TG, but in talking with him it's clear that he has a large TG client base, closeted and not, and has been working with members of the TG community for many years.
He, by way of my wife, has been trying to convince me to come in for about a year. "Never," I said. "Never."
So fast forward to "never". I got up the nerve to call him on Friday and after some friendly banter set an appointment for 9pm Saturday. He told me to come dressed however I was most comfortable.
I knew I wanted to go presenting as female, but I didn't think I could. I figured I would probably over think everything as I most often tend to do and either go in drab or not at all.
But somehow this time was different. Instead of focusing on the "what ifs" I spent half the day yesterday trying to figure out what I might wear. I wound up in a simple outfit, aiming for one which I might otherwise choose if trying to blend; black leggings with a pink top and a brown faux leather jacket.
As the clock ticked closer to nine, the knots started forming in my stomach. What am I doing? I can't do this.
That's when my wife again reminded me that I could. And should.
So I got in the car a bit of a nervous wreck, blew her a kiss and drove off, spending the next few minutes trying to get used to driving in heels. Once I got comfortable my focus shifted back to what I was doing. I was feeling a bit of self consciousness (I wasn't wearing make-up and my wig was a bit less than believable) but that was overshadowed by a new found sense of pride for what I had already accomplished. I had overcome my fear. I had left the house. I could do this. I smiled.
I arrived and was greeted by him and another SA, both complimentary of my outfit. I sat and talked and connected with him repeatedly on both a professional and personal level for the next hour or so. He was aware that this was my first time coming out of my closet and told me repeatedly how honored he was that I came to meet him.
We started by trying wigs, but decided it best to do make-up first. He took time in explaining application techniques and showed me how to apply day and night looks. While I get the gist, I have a lot of practice ahead of me. This took another hour or so yet I had no idea of (nor was I thinking about) the time.
So now, fully made up, I started trying on wigs again. I tried on about six different styles. One really stood out in that it had dark roots which closely matched my natural hair color. It wasn't quite as long as I would have preferred, but I really liked how it framed my face.
I finally decided to check the clock to discover it was nearing 1:30 am! We had been having casual conversation throughout and I was having such a good time I had totally lost track of the time. I sent my wife a text to let her know all was well. I tried on a pair of simple black pumps which wound up fitting me well and headed for check out.
I left the shop at about 2:15. Good thing I'm a night owl. Bad thing I got only a few hours of sleep the night before.
I drove home exhausted yet more confident than ever in my appearance.
When I got home my wife came out to meet me. As soon as I opened the car door and the lights came on, her jaw dropped.
She has seen me fully presenting a number of times, but always with something at least a little bit off (wig color, poor make-up, etc.)
She looked like she was about to cry. She then gave me a big hug and told me I was beautiful.
Thanks for all of your inspirational accounts which helped fuel my confidence and in part made this possible.
It was truly a wonderful experience.