Well, I am glad that you decided to stay. hands down this forum is the best source for support and making friends. Had I had something like this way back, I may have kept some of my now long gone sanity lol People say a lot of things and like someone above mentioned, it should be taken with a grain of salt. This forum offers great advice and support but mostly offers "opinions". You just take the opinions as needed and you'll be fine.
I do , however, have a question that has been bugging me that I would like to ask you, While I have never thought that you may be an "imposter" I have wondered a bit since reading your posts as to why now?
You have stated that you knew about your SO's lifestyle/CDing/???/whateverlabel BEFORE you got married, which was 20 years ago, why are you searching for answers now? If you have accepted this for 20+ years and not much has changed with the SO's dressing, why have you waited so long?
Of coarse, you don't have to answer if you don't like, I am just curious
Glad your sticking with us