“We have a technical…” (Gary Numan)Originally Posted by Marleena
Splitting off from Marleena’s recent thread, itself splitting off from other discussions, I wish to ask this technical question: If you’re really transgendered, either mentally or physically, how can you say that you’re a crossdresser? It seems to me that if you’ve gone from one gender to the other, as the word transgender implies, and, in the case of MtF, you now identify as a woman, wouldn’t you just be naturally wearing clothes appropriate to your gender, and not crossdressing per se?
This idea has popped up here a few times in the past couple of years, usually put forth lightheartedly, such as, “You know, I’m not really crossdressing any more – it’s become just DRESSING!!!” Yeah, that’s what I’m getting at – if you see yourself as a woman, it follows you would (or should) wear women’s clothing, n’est ce pas? In that instance, you’re no longer crossdressing, you’re simply wearing the clothes that distinguish your sex, or gender if you prefer. I recently wrote a thing about this idea of how clothes distinguish the sexes, and if we transpose the ideas contained within that ignored OP onto the current argument, it sheds new light on the terms crossdresser and transgender. If you’re a male by birth, but you have become convinced you’re really a woman, where does the crossdressing come in?
I identify as a male, yet I wear women’s clothing on occasion, so I am a MtF crossdresser. I am not interested in becoming a woman, or living my life as a woman, so I cannot, by definition, be called transgendered. I trans-vest, but I do not, will not, and shall not trans-gender. I’m not a female trapped in a male body, there is no “inner girl” inside me, and pink fog is a rare occurrence at best. I like to dress up as a form of hedonistic pleasure, no strings attached, purely for fun whenever I feel like it. At the beginning and end of the day, I am a male. I don’t wear my femme clothes to bed. In the outside world, I go around as a male – my femme self, if you can call it that, comes and goes like a will-o-the-wisp, being employed to heighten or otherwise enhance reality. I am not dressed all the time, because there is no need to – I exist as a male, and my CD’ing is just something I do to relax or feel good. I can most accurately be termed a “crossdresser,” because I cross back and forth between the genders via clothing, no big deal, and no further explanation is needed…
If you’re transgendered, you cannot accurately be termed a crossdresser, IMHO. Maybe you began your “career” as a crossdresser, and you came to realize you were really transgendered, so the crossdressing evolved into something more serious and meaningful. If so, you have evolved into something other than a crossdresser. This reminds me – I once had a TG (on the “road” to SRS) friend on this site, and one day I asked her a CD question. She wrote me back, saying, in her inimitably blunt manner, “I wouldn’t know, I’m not a crossdresser…” even though she is a male by birth and wears female clothing all the time (as far as I know). This is exactly what I’m referring to. Referencing Marleena’s quote (seen above), how can a person be both TG and CD? To the outside world, a transgendered individual would be seen as a crossdresser (which would explain their presence on this forum), but hasn’t that particular type of person gone BEYOND crossdressing?
One more thing – not every MtF crossdresser is interested in becoming a woman, or living their life as a woman, so why does an insistence on transgender proliferate in this section of a site for crossdressers? Perhaps I’m not reading the “happy” threads as much as I should, or maybe I’ve been sniped at too many times by TG’s who take issue with “mere” crossdressers like me. I should say at this point that I have many TG friends (sisters) here, at various points along their personal journey from M to F, and anyone reading my posts should not assume that I’m against transgender in any way – that would be like me being against sunshine, or shadow, or imagination, three things I dearly love and that I know exist. My interest is in the terms we have accepted to define ourselves and nothing more. I like to pick these terms up by the handles (if they have any), study them, hold them to the light, and see them from all angles. To me, transgender is a very interesting yet (at times) a very inaccurate term, and, since I have plunked myself down amidst TG types for better or worse, everyone assumes I must also be transgendered. I know I am not, and I never will be. I am just a crossdresser, a lonely hedonistic fetishist, a male who wears women’s clothing now and then. Can you dig it? I certainly can…
So, if you’re truly transgendered, surely you’re not crossdressing – it’s just dressing, isn’t it?
The more I think of it, I think something has been lost in translation…
PS – Please don’t get bent out of shape reading this – this is just a technical question, and I mean no harm, OK?