It is interesting how extroversion and introversion play out with crossdressers.

Growing up in Los Angeles, a stones throw from the Queen Mary it never occurred to me that there was such a thing as a closeted crossdresser even though I bet I passed hundreds of them on every sidewalk in america.

Even though I heavily associated with transvestites, I was an introvert with no interest in drag but enjoyed the makeup and fashion behind the scenes and was giving fashion advice to half the neighborhoods rich wives.

It was not until I discovered various forums that I learned there was this whole world hidden from view of heterosexual crossdressers that sometimes are not always heterosexual which at first blush seemed more like me than all the transvestites with the occasional transsexual thrown in who were into men and always had been.

You really get a good sense of the difference between transvestites and transsexuals when you are in close proximity to both at the same time but the transsexuals I was meeting were into men and I was not into anyone so it was messing with my understanding of myself.

The extroverted crossdresser seems to have fewer problems than the introverted crossdresser so maybe it is not the crossdressing but the introversion that causes grief and not only for the crossdresser but the transgender and the transsexual.

The problem with living in the shadows is it stops living because if you want to grow you have to find the courage from somewhere to step out and take risks.

It seems those who live boldly may suffer the slings and arrows but it is in this surviving that makes possible personal growth and exploration.

Kansas is very close to Colorado to take risks, but far enough away to not risk home and there are those on the forum who would enjoy helping you step out into the world if you asked for their help.

Sensitivity is a wonderful thing if it does not build walls that imprison you and it is this sensitivity not the crossdressing that you are protecting. I know this behavior very well and how hard it is to risk stepping into a world that is so ugly with cruelty.

You only want beautiful experiences but we are meant to do more than just experience beauty. At some point we must give something back to life or our lives are wasted.

You do not have a problem with crossdressing but with being hurt by people.

The more we remove ourselves from the world the more our world shrinks and soon it becomes impossible to leave the house.