"And if I'm really not some type of addict, then how do I resolve the conflict between the part of me that desperately wants this, and the part of me that totally hates it and fears it will wreck my life? " Just because you feel the need to cross dress doesn't mean you're an addict. You might just have a feminine side that needs to be satisfied every now and then. And if wearing a dress and heels and painting your nails/putting on make up every now and then satisfies this; then I say do it. If your SO freaks out about this when you do it then maybe she/he isn't the person for you. I think that parents and friends will be more tolerant than most people think when they come out, remember it's not you where but you that they like/love. If someone doesn't like you base on what you where on occasion or all the time, they don't really like YOU; they like the idea of you they made in their minds. Which probably isn't the real you, you might lose them as friends but find out where other cross dressers in your country or state live. From every thing I've seen and read we seem to be very open-minded and accepting people.
