Like most I've been dressing on an off since a kid (11 was my first experience). I fooled around with a guy as my first sexual encounter and it went on a couple of years - we were very young - early teens. I was always the 'girl' in the relationship though never dressed.
Later I was with plenty of girls growing up and had lots of relationships but still fantasized about guys.
Into my twenties, more relationships with girls and more dressing behind closed doors. Still nothing with a guy since the above encounter.
Late twenties, some hook ups with guys - very sporadic and nothing regular. Always wanted to be dressed when with guys but never was.
Early thirties - increasingly hooked ups with guys (occasionally in femme underwear) - went for first makeover and started buying clothes in earnest.
Purge here, purge there. Hetro relationship for a while. More guys.
Post mid thirties now and really wanting to take my dressing further - have had plenty of makeovers, have built a small collection and continue to do so and still attracted to guys.
I know I started this thread with a question in mind - I suppose I'm pretty confused. I think I'm gay but not sure I can admit it. I love to dress and think a lot about being in a relationship with a guy where I can be dressed all the time. So not sure what my question is but it's cathartic to get this down/out.
Thanks for reading my ramble. I'll try to some clarity in a bit.
Comments welcomed.