Hello and welcome!
A lot of good advice so far from all the posts.
I would suggest you stop your dressing and stop worrying about how to incorporate it into your relationship for the time being. Instead focus on repairing the damage done by the hiding and lying. I won't pretend to know your wife, but judging from your comment of a lot of crying taking place, I would believe she is hurt and confused.

It's been almost a year since I came out to my wife after 15 yrs of marriage. The first few months were hard. It took her a while to even begin to get over the hiding and the lies (even if lying only by omission). It took a lot of crying, many long truthful and hurtful conversations, and a lot of soul searching. We did not attend therapy together. Instead I started seeing a therapist with experience in gender issues who helped immensely.

I am still not sure where our marriage will end up. We continue to take things one step at a time. Still, I feel we have come a long way. She now knows this is part of who I am and that this will not go away. She seems to be ok with this now and our relationship seems to be back on track. As far as my TG feelings go, she still refuses to do any research on the topic on her own and won't even consider looking at this forum. And while I continue to strugle to talk to her about this (my own issue), when we do, we manage to do so in a normal manner.

Aside from that, though she still is not interested in participating, she did ask me if I wanted to get anyhing for myself during recent shopping trips. Baby steps! Just recently we began to discuss the how-to of incorporating this into our lives and agreed that I would look for a support group.

Somehow this turned into a longer post that I intended. In short, my $0.02, focus on her and on repairing the trust between both of you. Communicate openly and honestly. No more hyding or lying. Ask questions and offer clear answers. Don't assume that anything will be ok and acceptable. Take your time, and good luck!

Hugs
Sandra